


Express

by OrchidPeach560 (Miss_Webb)



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheating, Confused Tony Stark, Eventual Smut, Everyone wears masks to protect their identity, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Identity porn if you squint, M/M, Magic, Maybe - Freeform, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Tony Stark, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Sneaky Bastards, True identities are hidden from the public, blame tumblr, i just realized i needed this ship, idk yet, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-05-23 15:38:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Webb/pseuds/OrchidPeach560
Summary: Tony's trying not to fall back in love with Steve, so he gets his neighbor Stephen Strange to pretend to be his boyfriend.What he doesn't know, is that Stephen is married, and he and his husband have been pining after Tony for years. They finally see their chance to make a move and they're not going to let some super-serumed jock take it away from them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone stop me from starting more fics before I've finished my other WIP's. I need help.

Tony is panicking.

Earlier he was fine but _now_ he’s panicking.

He’s cleaned every surface of his apartment twice. Washed every rug, blanket, sheet and curtain he owns. Now the windows are all pulled wide open to air out the smell of bleach and he’s trying to mess up the place a little because it’s _too_ clean. The place needs to look like he actually lives here. He wants this to seem effortless so he can pretend he has his life together and he’s someone who cleans his apartment regularly.

His phone rings and he runs for it where it’s placed on the kitchen counter. He sighs relieved when it’s Pepper’s caller ID.

“Hey.” He answers.

“Tony, don’t ‘ _hey_ ’ me. You can’t just text me something like that and then not respond for _six_ hours.” She sounds irritated, but he knows the true source of it and how it isn’t truly directed at him.

“Sorry, I was cleaning the apartment.” He says, looking around, double checking everything.

“Hold on, you actually cleaned… Tony… Honey- this isn’t good for you. Tell Steve no.” He can imagine it now, she’s probably shaking her head and giving the most pitiful expression she can muster. If she were in the room, she’d probably try and offer him a hug or something.

“I can’t tell him no, I already said yes!” He runs a hand through his hair, an action he’s done countless times in the last few hours. He’s sure he’s pulled out a concerning amount of hair because of it.

“Why would you do that?” She’s louder now, exasperated, Tony knows the feeling. He’s been asking himself the same question nonstop ever since he agreed.

“I don’t know I panicked!” He huffs. “It’s just for the weekend, three days, I can handle three days.” He’s trying to convince himself more than her at this point.

“That’s it, I’m calling Rhody, we’re coming over.”

“No, no, no don’t. If you’re here when Steve arrives then he’ll know I was panicking and I don’t want him to know. I can do this. I’m fine.” He sounds more confident now, willing himself the believe the lie. 

“Tony, he broke your heart.”

“He did but it was years ago and I’ve since moved on.”

“It was last year.”

“Was it? Interesting, I’ve moved on so well I’ve already forgotten when it was.” He shrugs, even though Pepper can’t see him. He’s hoping it will translate into his voice. 

“Tony, this is a bad idea.”

He sighs, looking down at his socks, one’s got a hole it in right above his big toe and it’s only been growing throughout the day.

“I have bad ideas all the time, why is this any different?”

“Because you’ve got a blind spot when it comes to Steve. This isn’t one of your inventions, this isn’t SI, or the Ironman suit. This is Captain America. You trusted him with your identity, your life, and your heart. He betrayed all three and had the audacity to ask you a favor. You shouldn’t be alone with him. You know what will happen.”

The text had come early in the morning. Steve’s number still saved in his phone, he’d never had a reason to delete it. In fact, it was the opposite. He liked looking at it sometimes. Thinking if he should call. Whether it be to curse Steve out or forgive him and have him back in his life, he doesn’t know for sure. But the text had come unexpectedly.

Steve was planning to move back to New York and he needed a place to stay for the weekend while he waited for his place to be ready. Steve didn’t have a lot of friends in New York. In fact, he didn’t have any. They’d all followed him like ducks in a row when he moved away a year ago to go be with Bucky. It broke Tony’s heart when he found Steve and Bucky together, cheating on him in his own apartment.

They hightailed it out of there after that. Tony left to pick up the pieces of his life in the fallout.

Now Tony doesn’t know what’s going to happen. If Steve’s coming back and needs a place to stay it’s because he’s no longer shacking up with Bucky. Why or how the two broke up Tony doesn’t want to know. But he’s coming back, and he’ll try to at the very least sleep with Tony, and if that happens, and Tony gives in, he’ll be at Steve’s beck and call, anything in the world he want’s he can have.

Even if it’s Tony’s heart.

“It’s barely three days.” He whispers, dropping heavily onto the couch feeling defeated. He really shouldn’t have agreed. But he did, and it’s too late.

_

Tony had been trying to think of every scenario to keep Steve out of his bed, and his feelings in check. All possibilities and ideas let back to one thing that’d for sure stop, Steve.

If Tony was already dating someone else.

Problem is, Tony isn’t dating anyone. The only people he could get on short notice would be Pepper or Rhody. Bruce maybe, but he’d never go for it. Besides Steve knows Bruce is straight. Pepper and Rhody are engaged and he’s sure that news has traveled to the others.

He needed someone Steve didn’t know. Someone he wouldn’t see through. Someone who’d truly make him back off. Someone Tony’s type that he’d actually date in real life. Someone smart, and good-looking, maybe even a little dangerous.

Tony knew exactly who to ask.

_

He was standing in the lobby of the apartment building, camped out by the mail slots. He always came around this time. Every day like clockwork. He would be here. Tony knew he would.

Occasionally Tony had to pretend he was getting his own mail so those around wouldn’t think he was loitering. He’d been there about ten minutes when the man he was waiting for finally came down. Tony took a deep breath and waited for the man to approach his mailbox then he took his chance.

“Hi. Uh- Stephen, right?”

“Yes?” He says, looking up from his mail, eyes going slightly wider when they met Tony’s eyes.

“I’m Tony. I live in the apartment next to yours.” He says, hoping that living near each other makes this easier and not harder.

“I know.” Stephen smiles. “I recognize you.”

“Great, um-” Tony blushes slightly, it’s such a small thing to be remembered only in passing every few days, but it makes Tony happy to hear it. “I was wondering if I could ask you a really large favor.”

“You can ask. But I can’t say I’ll agree.” Stephen leans against the wall, smile sharpening.

“Okay, fair enough.” Tony nods, taking a breath. “Here goes nothing. I have this ex. We had a bad breakup, he's in town now and needs a place to stay for three days and I was wondering if you'd be willing to pretend to be my boyfriend for those three days so that I don’t look like a total loser, and so he won’t try and pull me back into a relationship with him.” It all comes out kind of quickly, some of his words tumble over the others but all in all, Stephen gets it and thinks for a moment, considering. 

“What would pretending to be your boyfriend entail exactly?” He asks.

“Um, I don't know. Just coming over once maybe twice… uh telling him that we've been dating and pretending to know each other in a relationship way. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It's only three days. Id also be willing to pay you for your time, although now that I say it, it sounds like prostitution.”

Stephen laughs at that. Big with all white straight teeth. Tony can’t help but smile in return.

“You don't have to pay me.” Stephen shakes his head. “It'd be my pleasure.”

“Really?” Tony was expecting a no, rude or gentle, he wasn’t sure if Stephen would let him down easy, but agreeing hadn’t been something he prepared for. “Thank you so much. I- this means the world to me.”

“Your welcome,” Stephen said. “When does this ex arrive?”

“About an hour from now,” Tony says looking down at his watch, oh god that’s so soon. He’s not ready. He’s suddenly trying to remember if he dusted behind the T.V.

“Then I’ll be at your apartment in an hour.”

-

Tony’s feeling a lot better about everything now. The room no longer smells of cleaning products, and he even made grilled cheese to add something to make the apartment feel more lived in. He keeps whispering that everything will be fine to himself, and after saying it the twenty-fifth time, he’s starting to believe it.

There’s a knock at the door, and he takes a deep breath and opens it.  Steve looks so different. Hair longer, arms bigger, and he’s got a beard now.

“Tony.”

“Steve.”

They spend a moment, letting their names hang in the air. Tony expected to feel anger, or hurt just looking at the man. But here, now he feels relief almost. All this time, dancing between missing Steve and hating him has built up a weight on his shoulders that he feels lift from him. He has the strong urge to step forward and pull him into a hug.

He’s just about to act on it when he catches movement over Steve’s shoulder. It’s Stephen down the hall making his way over. He’s got a smirk on his face, and something playful in his eyes. Tony's not sure how to read it, and he’s more than caught off guard when Stephen finally makes it down the hall and wraps his arms around Tony's waist.  Turning him fully and pulling him close. Time seemed to slow as it all happened. Each new millimeter Tony thought ‘ _this is when he stops_ ’ and each time he was proven wrong. Even more so as his eyes go wide when Stephen's face leans into his and their lips are touching.

The quizzical sound he makes probably sounds something along the lines of a hum or a moan. But nope. That's pure surprise. Stephen only takes it in stride and deepens the kiss. A gentle lick to his lips has Tony parting his and there's and there's a small flick of their tongues together and it sends chills up Tony's spine and he's leaning in following it almost as Stephen pulls away.  

“Who’s this?” Stephen asks hand dropping to the small of Tony’s back rubbing lightly as if he’s done it a million times.

“This is Steve, he’s spending the night for the next few days.”

“Oh yes, I remember now. You mentioned this, this afternoon.” Stephen nods, snapping his finger.

“Yeah.” Tony nods, this could work it flows nicely. “It was short notice. I hope you don't mind.”

“Nope. We’re fine with it.”

Tony tries not to let the confusion show on his face at ‘we’re’. But maybe he just heard things wrong.

“I’m sorry.” Steve cuts in. “You are?”

“I'm one of Tony's partners.”

“One of?” Tony thinks he might have said the internal question aloud but he knows Steve’s said it by the look on his face. Stephen smiles not answering directly, he just looks over Steve’s shoulder.

“Oh, here he comes.” Stepping out of the stairwell comes a man. Tony -can’t place where but he's definitely seen the man before. The man walks around Tony’s other side and with both hands pulls Tony’s face to his and suddenly Tony’s being kissed again.

The kiss is different from Stephens calm but claiming style. This one is filthy, invasive, all tongue and lots of teeth. This kiss makes Tony feel owned. He gets lost in it. Forgetting their audience and everything but this man's mouth on his and moans. When he finally pulls back Tony may or may not have the beginnings of an erection growing in his pants.

His lips shiny and red. Burning from the brunt of bites and when Loki sucked the bottom lip between his teeth and pulled back until their lips separated.

“Sorry.” Loki apologizes, using his thumb to gently wipe at Tony's bottom lip. “I missed you.” he shrugs. Then Tony remembers yeah, Steve. They are putting on a show for Steve, even if he doesn’t know who this is, or why he’s suddenly part of the act, but he’s more than willing to go with it.

“I-I missed you too,” Tony says, it comes out more than a whisper. It's been a long time since a kiss had him this stunned. He needs a moment to connect himself. “Uh, Steve why don’t you head inside? I’ll be right there.”

Steve looks like he might argue for a second, but thinks better of it. He looks at the two, and the nods. “Sure.” Tony closes the front door behind him and waits a moment before turning to the new addition to the group.

“I'm sorry, who are you?”

“I’m Loki. Stephens husband.” He holds his hand out to shake, and Tony hesitates to take it as his eyes go wide.

“Husband? Oh my- I thought you were single. I would never have asked if I knew.” Tony looks down at Stephen's hands. “You're not wearing a ring.” He points out.

“I'm a surgeon. The idea of losing my ring in a body cavity is not appealing no matter how unlikely. So, I often take it off and leave it at home.”

Tony nods. “Okay yeah, that makes sense… Still, I'm so sorry. I really never would have asked.”

“Stop apologizing.” Loki laughs lightly. “If I truly had a problem I wouldn't have come over here and kissed you.”

Tony sighs, shoulders finally relaxing. “Thank you for that by the way. You came just in time.”

Stephen nods. “Things did look a little intense when I came over.”

“That’s Steve for you.” Tony sighs. “Everything that man does is intense.”

“Well. We are here for you. Do you want to go in?”

“You guys really want to continue helping me? You don’t think it’s a bit much, two of you being my boyfriend?”

“I say the more the merrier.” Loki smiles, Tony laughs.

“Well okay then. I guess I’m in a polyamory relationship for the next three days. Go me!”

_

“So, Steve I hear you're moving to New York, you’re staying until your apartment is cleaned up?” Stephen asks, gently blowing his cup of coffee, supplied by Tony, who’s now sitting between him and Loki on the squished loveseat while Steve’s on the armchair.

“Yeah.” He nods. Tony tries not to pay attention to how his muscles are detailed through his shirt, with every movement. Or how the beard changes his face, doesn’t make him look older… no… somehow it makes him look more authoritative. Sexier. “The old tenants are still clearing their things out. Then there's the lease and papers to sign.”

“Yeah, we know how it is.” Stephen nods. “We’re going through that ourselves.” His hand drops to Tony’s knee and squeezes intimately. Tony barely has time to prepare himself not to jerk in surprise, pulling his attention away from Steve’s face. Stephen and Loki are both doing such a great job of acting as if this is normal and they've been together for a long time. The least he can do is not flinch at their touches. “We spend so much time staying over at each other’s apartments we've finally decided moving in would be easier.”

“Honestly it feels like we already live together,” Loki says, hand sneaking around Tony's waist pulling him in close. Tony doesn’t let his eyes go wide like he wants to, because where the hell is that coming from? Not that they aren’t doing a great job, talking about fake plans so effortlessly. Something darkens in Steve's eyes at Loki’s move and Tony feels hot under the gaze. He stands suddenly and claps his hands.

“Well, that's enough introductions for now. Stephen’s got work and Loki has….”

“Work as well.” He smiles. The two-stand going with it. Both give him a quick kiss as you'd do a spouse like they'd done it every day for years. They said their goodbyes to Steve with promises to see the two later, and then they were off. Tony had no idea where to for real, or if they’d actually come back but that’s not important at the moment. 

Once the door closed behind him. The heaviness Tony had wanted to avoid seeped into the room.

“So… I hadn't heard you were in a relationship.” Steve practically spits the word out with how he grimaces, and Tony can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Who would you have heard it from? The news? You can’t always trust that outlet.” He chuckles, the news couldn’t get any more wrong about Tony Stark. They think he is a recluse, closeted alcoholic and belongs in a medical institution or a rehab of some sort. You wouldn’t believe the shitstorm it’d cause to find out he’s actually Ironman.

“You’re right, but Natasha comes back here all the time. She's never said anything.”

“Well, I haven't seen or talked to Natasha in over a year. So that might be why.” Tony shrugs, he hasn’t seen any of the others. They all picked Steve and never looked back. 

“Just because you haven't seen her doesn't mean she hasn't seen you,” Steve says, he’s hinting around something, probably an accusation. But Tony’s got a few of his own.

“You know. That sounds an awful lot like spying. You know how I feel about being spied on.” Tony warns.

“It’s not like that…” Steve shakes his head, stepping forward slightly into Tony’s space. “Tony I’ve missed you this past year.”

“Really? When you miss someone, you call or write. Not send an assassin to spy on them, and apparently not do it well if she didn't know I was in a relationship.” Tony steps back, keeping the space between then and his anger in check. 

Steve shook his head. “Maybe because it was two- perhaps she thought it was just sex and not a real relationship. So, she didn’t think to mention it.” Tony scoffs rolling his eyes. Somehow, he’s offended despite having made up this relationship today.

“Maybe everyone should mind their own damn business.”

“Tony!” Steve manages to look hurt at the statement. “We’re your friends!”

“No!” Tony shakes his head. “They are your friends, and you are my ex. That's all you are. You want to mend bridges, fine! You need a place to stay, fine! But don’t you dare act like I owe you some level of kindness or an explanation. I don’t have to answer to you, you’re the one who walked away!”

“You sent me away!” Steve yells, and Tony laughs.

“Sorry I didn’t feel like living with my boyfriend and his side piece! Or actually no, I guess since you Barnes had a history I’m the side piece. Or the sugar daddy, right? I bet you two laughed that up.”

“Tony… what happened between Bucky and me- it was once, and you walked in on it before it went too far.”

“Too far? You were having sex on my kitchen counter!”

“It wasn’t planned, we just- it happened, and I tried to tell you that and you wouldn’t listen, you shut me out.”

“I’m sorry if I’m not all forgiving to cheating.”

Steve stops and takes a breath, some of the red in his face fades and he looks at Tony with something of earnest in his face. “It was wrong of me to do that, to let it go to any length. My feelings for Bucky, shouldn’t have ever pushed me to betray what we had. We were in a committed relationship and that means I promised to be faithful to you, a promise I broke that day. I am sorry about that Tony. I have regretted it every day since. You can ask anyone. I’m moving back here Tony because I couldn’t stand to be without you any longer. A year is far too long. I miss you, I miss us. Not even just the relationship, but Ironman and Captain America. We work well together. Don’t you miss that?”

Somehow Steve ended up back in Tony space, and their faces were so close Tony could feel Steve’s breath against his cheek.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no._

He’s falling for it. He knows it’s probably just a line. That they’ve all probably run out of money, or Barnes dumped his ass so Steve’s come running back tail between his legs. It’s got to be some ulterior motive. But Tony can feel himself explaining it all away, asking himself if having another motive would be all that bad. Because yes, he did miss this, them- _the entire fucking team._

He’s about to say yes, it’s on the freaking tip of his tongue he can taste it. But the door bursts open and Loki’s walking through smile on his face.

“My apologies, I’m sorry to barge in here, silly me, I’ve just realized I forgot something.” He says, the smile on his face not reaching his eyes, he’s walking over, he grabs Tony by the hand and pretty much drags him out of the apartment slamming the door behind him not letting Steve get the chance to stop him or ask questions.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Tony asks as they walk into their apartment next door and Loki pulls him in.

“Saving you of course.”

Tony sighs, realizing it’s going to be a very hard three days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to admit, when I wrote the first chapter I had literally no plot for this planned, I just really needed some Stephen/Tony/Loki in my life. But then I got so many great comments, and so many Kudos that I had to sit down and really plan this baby out. Thank you all for being amazing and giving me feedback, I love it! <3 <3 <3

Tony sighed as the door closed behind him and his eyes danced around the apartment. It wasn't much different than his own apartment. It had the same base layout and they seemed to place their furniture in similar positions. The biggest difference he saw was in color and theme.

Tony's apartment had a brown and white theme- Pepper had picked it out, he wanted red and gold designed after the Ironman suit, according to Pepper that was a bad idea. Loki and Stephen’s was styled a mint green and black. Which normally Tony would have approved how the color stood out, but right now it was only serving to help give him a headache. He dropped down unceremoniously on their couch and groaned.

“This was a horrible idea!” He’s angry at himself. Steve’s back barely an hour and he was already three seconds from giving in. “Why did I agree to this?” He drops his head in his hands and begins taking deep breaths to calm himself down. Stressing out will only strengthen this into a migraine.

Loki watches with an expression hinted with what might be pity and sits next to him. Next thing Tony knows is a cold hand press against the side of his head, pulling him down so his head lays against Loki’s thighs. He’s confused by the sudden movement and is about to sit back up and when feels those cool fingers press right to his temple and rub firmly.

Loki murmurs something Tony can’t make out and then there is sweet, sweet bliss bestowed upon him. His eyes roll back and he groans deeply His headache is gone almost immediately, and he feels a chill of relief down his spine.

“Oh god, never stop doing that.”

“As you wish.” Loki smiles, continuing his movements.

Tony tried to make sense of what was going on exactly after a few minutes. He was hiding out from his apartment next door. With one of the two men he just lied and told Steve he was dating. The man who is now about to find himself perfectly attached to Tony for what might be the rest of his life because he will never want this feeling to stop. He’s pretty sure if he tried to walk right now he’d fall flat on his ass because his legs feel like jelly.

“Shh,” Loki says. “You’re thinking too hard.”

“We don’t know each other that well, so it makes sense that you don’t know this yet. But I’m always thinking too hard. In fact, thinking too hard is my default. You should see me when I’m three days deep running on eight pots of coffee and no sleep. _That’_ s when things get intense.”

Loki chuckles above him. “Sounds very unhealthy.”

“Another thing about me you should know. Unhealthy is one of the six words that will be describing me in my biography.” He looks up to Loki as the man cards his cool fingers through Tony’s hair. It’s nice. Pepper used to do that when he was dead tired after all-nighters in the lab, or a long day of meetings, and ass kissing of donors and stockholders. He hated going to those damn meetings, but he’d always calm right down and relax as soon as she touched him. Tony was just a sucker for human contact that didn’t involve sweaty handshakes, and fighting to save the world.

It’s been a long time since he’s had any contact other than that. So this is great, to say the least.

“You know... you look familiar,” Tony says eventually, basking in the feeling. There is something about Loki’s chin and the curve of his smile that tugs something in the back of his mind.

“I do live in the building, you know. I see you all the time in the halls.”

Tony shakes his head. He makes it a point to remember every face in the building. It’s why he remembered Stephen on such short notice. It’s why he thought he was single. He’d almost never seen Loki in the halls, and yet, Tony knows he’s seen him somewhere else. He’ll remember eventually. So he decides to shelf it for now, thoughts drifting back to Steve and his apartment, causing him to sigh. “I’m going to have to go back in there.”

“You don’t have to.” Loki shrugs. Tony can feel the movement more than see it. “You could stay here.”

Tony scrunched his eyebrows in disbelief. “I’m sorry what? You- you’d let me stay here? For three whole days?”

“Yes.” Loki nods. “We’ve got plenty of room. I know Stephen would love the idea. I do too.”

Tony shakes his head, looking baffled. “I just met both of you today, and you’re already helping me with an outlandish request and now you’re even offering to put me up? You two aren’t serial killers waiting for an easy kill, are you?”

“No.” Loki barks a laugh from deep in his chest, it rumbles through his body. “I guess we both have a soft spot for a damsel in distress.”

“Damsel in distress huh?” Tony shuffles lightly so his neck isn’t bent on Loki’s leg. “You’re lucky I’m very secure in my masculinity, otherwise I might be offended.”

“Something else for the category of what I should know, huh?”

“Yeah, but then again this only matters if you plan on sticking around.” Tony shrugs and then turns back, facing away from Loki. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but now it’s out, and he’s talking again to quickly cover it up. “But I can’t stay here. I can’t leave him in my apartment alone. I- I don’t trust him enough for that.”

It would give Steve way too much time to snoop, catch up on any upgrades to the suit, and he’d have access to his blueprints of SI and weapons development. Steve’s never showed interest in them or even the suit. But things could have changed since he left. Tony needs to assume he can’t trust Steve, no matter how much he wants to. Which means not leaving him alone with options to snoop for three days.

Loki hums thoughtfully. “If you don’t trust him, why invite him to stay?”

“I didn’t _invite_ him. He asked and I said okay. Not that I know why I agreed either… I just- I just did.”

“I don't know why you ever dated him, he seems dull.” Loki comments, deciding to move on from that statement.

“He's not dull.” Tony laughs. “He’s a bit stiff when it comes to something unknown or he doesn't like. But he's got some good qualities. He's always trying to help someone, you know? He doesn't like bullies or assholes in general. He doesn't stand for intolerance, and he likes to make people smile. He can be bossy sometimes, and not always in a good way.”

“There's a good way to be bossy?”

“Yeah. There are times when it's nice to be able to let someone else take the wheel. Someone you know will step up even when things are hard, they'll take charge. They'll take responsibly. But on the downside, it never turns off, the leaderness, the bossiness. Its everyday life, it's every moment, he's always right, always in charge. When you live with that, and with people who put him up on this pedestal where he can do no wrong, it just feels fake. No one is perfect, no one is always good, and to follow someone even when they're wrong, its a blindness, the more you do it, the harder it is to open your eyes. I didn't open mine until I walked in on him cheating on me.”

Loki cards his fingers through Tony’s hair again, and he closes his eyes leaning into the touch.

“Even as you explain what he did it still sounds as if you care for him. Do you still love him?”

Tony goes still and the question hangs in the air for a moment, while he thinks. But finally, he comes to an answer.

“I love the person I thought he was. The man who was righteous and always did the right thing. The person I could always trust to have my back. The one who would never judge me for my faults. The guy who said he needed me, even though he clearly didn’t. The one who loved me enough to carve out a perfect place for me in his life. But that’s who I thought he was. The real Steve is someone else. Someone I’ve yet to meet. I don’t love the real Steve.”

“One thing I’ve learned is love is a fickle thing. It can come easy with a single look,” Loki’s fingers leave Tony’s hair and spread out, thumb caressing the outline of Tony’s eyebrow and cheek. “But it’s so hard to get rid of. It makes one vulnerable, and sometimes you don’t even understand why. It sneaks up on you, and doesn’t like to let go of its hold.”

Tony has to turn away from Loki ’s gaze. Sitting up, remembering that personal space should be a thing between them as the air around them suddenly feels like it’s changing.

“You sound like someone trapped in some unrequited love, and not happily married.”

“Can I not be both?”

Tony shakes his head. “I hope not. Isn’t the point of marriage to be past the phase of pining and wanting things you can’t have?”

“I believe it’s human nature to want things one cannot have. To never truly be satisfied.”

“You’ve got a point there. Everyone always wants something.”

“What is it that you seek, Tony? What is it that you want, but cannot have?”

Tony is surprised at the question, and he’s surprised that he can’t yet think of an answer. “I don’t know. What about you? What is it that you want?”

Loki leans forward their faces inches apart. “It is a who.”

Tony stands suddenly, “I should go back. Steve might be going through my things or god knows what else he might be doing. I’ll see you later- you _and_ Stephen.”

_

Tony’s just pushed the apartment door open when he catches the end of Steve's phone call.

“I know- I know Nat, okay? I was going to tell him as soon as I got here, but then he all of a sudden has _partners_. I couldn’t bring it up in front of civilians-if they’re civilians-, and once I got Tony alone we got off track. ---- I don’t think he’s ready for the truth. I haven’t seen him in a year, he’s dating, he could be different now. I don’t know how he’ll react. I don’t know if he’ll help us once he knows, and we need his help Tash.---- I know, I know, let's just see how these three days go. If I haven’t told him by then, you can come up here and tell him yourself.” Then he hangs up his phone. Tony steps back, gently closing the door all the way, just trying to breathe and keep calm.

He fucking knew it.

As if Steve would ever come back simply because he missed Tony. It wouldn’t have taken the bastard a full year to nut up and call.

Tony shook his head, and stormed down the hall, through the stairwell, to the first floor and out of the apartment building.

It was raining out, and cold pellets of rain sprayed gently on his shoulders and face. It was relieving a little bit. Physically cooling down the growing anger and hurt within him. The worst part was that all his mind could supply were images of Pepper saying I told you so’s and the rest of the team laughing at his foolishness.

He didn't even care what they wanted his help with. He’d say no. Then Steve would probably leave and never come back. It’s just the fact that he hoped. A part of him deep inside was hoping that maybe somewhere, someone wanted him, that someone needed him in some way.

But no one needs Tony Stark. They barely need Ironman. Wanted- god, what a laugh. No one wanted him either. They wanted weapon designs, aerial support, money. But not the man himself.

“Anthony.” Tony rolled his eyes, he hated being called Anthony. He turns towards the owner of the voice, ready to tell them that very thing, but the words get caught in his throat when his eyes register what he’s seeing. He can’t breathe, and freezes, not daring to blink, even as droplets of rain threatened to land and drip dangerously close to them. None of it matters.

The woman steps closer to him, only giving more detail to her face. Shattering any chances of him thinking it’s just someone who looks like her. Finally, he breathes, blinking hard once, hoping if this is some mental break that it goes away. He can’t take this added with the stress.

A hand comes up to cup his cheek and he opens his eyes. God, she even smells like he remembers.

“Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I know y'all want Tony to just stay with Stephen and Loki, don't worry, I had something like that planned but the other way around. You'll see that next chapter. (Hopefully, I have no idea how I'm going to space everything out yet. lol)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to reply and answer everyone's questions, but at the same time I didn't wanna spoil the rest of the plot so I was torn and just decided to write the next chapter. 
> 
> So if you're confused about things I'll answer and if it's not too spoilerish I'll tell ya. But otherwise I feel like i should keep my mouth zipped and my keyboard locked away. 
> 
> Something everyone should know is that No, Loki did not illusion up Tony's mother, and *whisper apologetically* No she's not alive... soweee! 
> 
> Also thank you, Lokislonelylady, your comment made me realize I had a major plot hole although I don't think you intended to point it out to me. Anyway it helped me create a large plot point that I really like, so thanks for that lol. 
> 
> Also there is some Google translated Italian in this chapter, the English translation is at the end notes.

Natasha rolled her eyes and shoved her phone back into her pocket. It was cold in Siberia, but she was used to it. She was also used to Clint’s constant complaining. He had a knack for complaining about anything and everything.

She tuned him out and let the annoyance fade from the tenses in her shoulders. She was always calm in the face of danger, the idea of death is not something she fears. Everyone dies at some point, she doesn’t make it a habit to fear her own ultimate demise, whether it be near or far. She, however, cannot deny her fear of losing those around her, the team she’s surrounded herself with. The team she’s grown to love and call family.

Meaning she now has something to lose. If the red room taught her anything, it taught her that having something to lose gave you a big blaring weakness. Her team was her weakness, and Hydra reforming very well meant her entire team was in danger. Mainly Bucky. He went on a solo mission planning to take out one of their bases here in Siberia. Something about needing to do it himself for emotional bullshit. Steve had played right into it and let Bucky go alone.

That was four days ago. Two days in Bucky went radio silent. He was supposed to check in every twelve hours with updates. Meaning that's four-check in’s now that he’s missed. There isn’t a single doubt in her mind that Hydra’s got him. The only question is if they’ve bothered keeping him alive or not.

She grabs the binoculars from the snow, where she dropped them to call Steve, and she looks around the base again, counting guards. There are five outside in total, she’s got no idea how many are inside. She and Clint have faced worse odds and come out alive every time. But them having Bucky somewhere complicates things.

Having eyes inside the building would be a great help. She drops the binoculars back down and charges up her widow bites pulling her gun from her waist. “Let’s go, Hawkeye.”

“Finally.” He mumbled, readying his bow and arrows. They both head inside after taking out the five outside. It takes them about twenty minutes to clear the entire building. About ten Hydra agents were inside, but nothing else.

She curses in Russian and kicks a chair over. “He’s not here.”

Clint nods looking around. “The Clone isn’t here either. She likely would have been assigned to him.”

Natasha looks up at him, and if he didn’t know her so well, he wouldn’t have been able to detect the hint of fear behind her eyes. So many years working together as two pieces of one whole unit allows them to already know what the other is thinking.

They kept Bucky alive and moved him for only one reason.

Hydra must be trying to reactivate the Winter Soldier. 

Natasha opened her phone sending an update back to the Falcon: _Mission Failed: Barns not here, The Clone location unknown, Hydra base shut down._

He responds with: _Message Received._

_

The moment Tony left, Steve started looking around the apartment for anything obvious or standing out. He didn't want to disturb anything. He had no idea what time Tony would be back, and he didn’t want to worry about having to clean up a mess in a hurry. Getting caught snooping is not ideal. He was stopped halfway through when Natasha called, but once he hung up he went back to searching. 

It didn’t help that he has no idea what he’s looking for. It’s something important, important enough for Hydra to have exposed themselves after all these years. He bends down, looking around Tony’s desk and room.

“Come on Tony… what is it they want from you?” He whispers into the air as he feels stumped. The top of the desk is littered with blueprints and designs that Steve can’t quite make sense of. There are some questionable tool choices and a coffee cup being used as paperweights. Some files about Stark Industries, nothing important there either. Nothing unusual, nothing different.

Natasha came back a few times to check on Tony and see if she could figure out who they had watching him, but there was no luck there. He walks over to the bedside tables and opens up the drawers. Nothing there either. He sighs, looking around the room in defeat. Then he turns back, pushing the drawers closed, but when he does, the bottom left drawer sticks, something blocking it on the inside.

Steve pauses, angling his head so he can try to get a look but sighs when he can’t get a good look. Pulling his keys from his pocket he uses the small flashlight on the chain. Just able to catch a glimpse of a corner, he can see there’s a small silver box sat up vertically so as not to disturb the closure of the drawers. It’s shifted diagonally, stopping it from closing all the way it must have happened because he’d opened all of them at the same time, instead of one by one, as anyone would normally do.

He carefully pulls the drawer out of the dresser and reaches for the box. It’s heavy, and he’s not sure it’s got anything to do with the contents. There’s a lock on the front, a complex one too. No doubt to prevent picking. It’s interesting that it’s got no touchpad or number code. That doesn’t seem like something Tony would normally use.

He shakes the box gently but is unable to tell what's inside from the sound of it.

Fingers sliding over the edges of the box, feeling for the material. It was hard to tell just looking at it, but now feeling it, he knows its vibranium. There’s something inside that Tony wants to protect and Steve thinks it might be what he came for.

_

“Tony! Tony wake up!”

It’s cold. That's the first thing that his brain processes. Then it moves on to the words, and he’s trying now. His brain feels foggy, and his throat try. His skin is so cold it aches and he’s wet all over. When he manages to get his eyes open he’s blinking up at Stephen's very concerned gaze.

Stephens got a hand under Tony’s head cushioning it from the sidewalk, and one hand on his chest, pushing gently to coax Tony awake the rest of the way. He watches the worry lines and fear in Stephen's eyes fade away with relief.

“Thank god,” Stephen whispers. “Tony, can you hear me?”

Tony nods slowly, trying to get the rest of his body to start listening to his brain and move.

“Slowly, go slowly,” Stephen warns hands on Tony’s shoulders helping him as he sits up. Once righted, Tony shivers forcibly. As if his body just realizes how soaked his clothes are from the rain. He grimaces looking down at himself, trying to figure out how long he’s been lying in the rain.

“Let me see your eyes,” Stephen says and Tony looks up. “Follow my fingers with your eyes, don’t turn your head. -- Okay good.” Then Stephen looks over Tony, taking his hands looking over his fingers, and slowly it comes back to him that Stephen’s a doctor. Tony chuckles, unable to help himself.

“You’re not going to charge me for this checkup, are you?”

Stephen smirks. “First one’s free.”

“Ah, how kind.” Tony shivers again.

“Are you okay?” Stephen asks, pulling his jacket off and draping it over Tony’s shoulders. “What happened?”

Tony looks around himself trying to remember. His body feeling weak and his thoughts spinning unorganized. He remembers coming outside, Something about Steve on the phone. After that, there’s something else, something important.

 He turns his head looking down the road. His mother, she was here.

_“Anthony, you got so tall.”_

Her words, they echo in his head. Tony moves suddenly, pushing himself up to stand, Stephen, hovers cautiously, ready to catch him if he falls. Tony spins in a small circle looking for her. She was just here, he’d spoken to her.

There was laughing, he laughed. She had called him tall, and that was just wrong. Tony is shorter than everyone on the team except Natasha, and she was verging on being an inch taller than him. The only person Tony was taller than was his mother. She had always been so short. Howard was tall, it was only genetics that he’d outgrow her. But that’s where it ended.

Tony remembered the feeling of her hand on his cheek, she was warm and smelled like perfume, one she used to wear all the time. Yet he can’t recall the name of it, the smell is unforgettable.

“ _No, I’m still real short, Mom.”_

That’s what he said to her, and she smiled.

_“You’ll always be a skyscraper to me, Bambino.”_

That gave him pause, even when he was a teenager his mother had commented that one day he’d be tall enough to stand over her like a skyscraper. Somehow, he managed to forget that, the memory of it gave him a wave of yearning and homesickness. Tears had begun to fill his eyes as he held onto her. Pulling her in for a hug. Everything about her so real.

But the moment shattered when she whispered something in his ear.

_“I need your help, Anthony. I need you to save me.”_

He’d moved to pull back, but she only held on tighter.

_“Non puoi fidarti di loro, amore mio. Ti impediranno di salvarmi.”_

The translation in his head had taken a moment to filter in, once it had, he began to question her. How she could need help if she were dead. How he was seeing her. Who wasn’t he supposed to trust? But before he got an answer, there had been a stinging in his neck, and then everything went to black.

“Tony?” Stephen asks, and Tony remembers that he was asked a question.

“Oh…. I um- I must have fallen. I was running, and it’s raining.”

“What were you running from?”

“Nothing.” Tony shakes his head, and that was a mistake because it only adds to the dizziness. “I was just in a rush.” He shrugs lamely. Stephen nods looking unconvinced.

“Okay well, we should get you out of the rain before you get sick, and make sure you don’t have a concussion.”

“Yeah, I could use a shower, and some dry underwear.”

Stephen chuckles and helps Tony inside.  Loki’s in the hallway when they make it to their floor. His casual nonchalance drops when he looks at Tony’s soaking form. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Tony waves him off. “I took a nap in the rain. Won’t make that mistake again.”

Loki and Stephen share a look, and then Loki lets it go. Must be a married thing. He pushes his apartment door open and hums happily as the heat hits his cold skin. His eyes land on Steve who’s sitting on the couch, he rolls his eyes as he remembers what he heard while he was on the phone.

“Don’t ask, it’s raining outside.” He says, cutting off the question he can just see Steve is about to ask.  He turns to the two, watching them follow him in. “I’m going to hop in the shower.” It’s pretty late so he’s sure Stephen and Loki will take the chance to call it a night. To Tony’s surprise, they don’t.

“Okay.” Stephen smiles, sitting down on the armchair. Deciding not to comment or ask about it heads to his room, grabbing a change of clothes and then into the bathroom.

_

The spray of the water cascading down Tony’s skin is great in comparison to the clammy cold it’s washing away. He runs a hand through his hair and then presses fingers to his temples mimicking Loki’s movements before, but he doesn’t get that same pain relief as he had before. Maybe Loki just has that special touch. Some people are gifted like that.

He silently wonders if Loki would do it again if he asked. Tony sighs and shakes his head to himself at the thought. It wouldn’t be a good idea. Not with the way Loki was talking before. What he said about wanting people he can’t have, despite being married. The way he leaned in… Tony couldn’t encourage that. He’d asked them to help pretend to be his boyfriends, but that was different, they were alone. Nothing to pretend there.

He would have to deal with his headache by himself.

Moving on, he quickly washed his hair and the rest of himself before stepping out of the shower. Grabbing his towel from the side and wrapping it around his waist he stepped to the sink and began brushing his teeth. Ever since he woke there's been a strange taste in his mouth.

He spits and rinses. Looking up to the mirror his eyes drop down to the skin of his chest. Flawless, not a single scar, stretch mark, or freckle. No hair there either. He may be good at replicating skin, but encouraging hair growth in a patch of synthetic skin is just something he wasn’t going to entertain. It’s okay though. Leaves the idea that he prefers to be clean shaven, which is true. But he misses just being free. Looking at his real chest, trapped underneath the fake layer. When he was with Steve after he told him about who he was, he got to be free all the time. Took off the fake layer as soon as he got home.

Ever since they broke up he wears it full time. It’s actually suctioned cupped around the arc reactor so it won’t come off while sleeping and so water won’t get underneath. He does a weekly cleaning under there for sweat and shaving, then it goes right back on. There’s actually a square of pale skin there because of its blocked access to the sun- or any light for that matter.

He runs his fingers over it. The transition seamless. One would never know where his skin stops and the fake begins. It feels so real. Tony could almost forget if he tired.  His eyes lift from his chest when something else catches his eye.

Just along the curve of his neck is a patch of red swelling skin. He freezes at the sight of it. He brings his fingers up to rub at it. He winches as the sore skin stings. But then he remembers, he didn’t suddenly lose consciousness. His mother had whispered in his ear and he felt a sting in his neck. When he fell back, he saw a syringe in her hand.

His eyes go wide. It couldn’t have been a dream, or some psychotic break. Last time he checked those don’t leave physical marks, and neither could ghosts. So, what in the hell was going on?

“Something wrong?” Loki’s voice cuts into his thoughts from the doorway. Tony’s eyes flick from his neck over to the man’s reflection in the mirror. Tony clutches the towel tighter around his waist, wondering why he didn’t hear the door open.

“You’re in my bathroom.” Tony remarks instead of answering the question.

“I am.” Loki nods, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall.

“Let me rephrase. Why are you in my bathroom?”

“Because you’re in here, and I couldn’t bear to be in that room with your Steve any longer. I stand by what I said, he’s quite dull.”

Tony can’t help but chuckle at the words. It’s actually nice to talk to someone who doesn’t worship Steve, it gives a lot more room to make fun of the man.

Tony chuckles, spinning around to face Loki. “And you left Stephen in there to fend for himself?”

“He seems quite capable of entertaining himself. He keeps using words Steve clearly doesn’t know to confuse him. The only problem is I don’t know some of them either. Apparently being a doctor can give one an extensive vocabulary.”

 “I’d pay to see that,” Tony remembers when he first met Steve, how he barely knew anything about technology or fashion. God, that was a horrible two weeks watching that man struggle to find decent outfits. He was caught between helping Steve or letting him figure it out on his own. Not to mention holding a conversation with him was impossible without having to stop every few words and explain something you said that went right over his head. He’s seriously improved over the years, but he’s sure whatever Stephen is doing will be pure torture for him.

Loki’s eye line drops to Tony’s waist where the towel hangs loosely since Tony’s grip lightened with the laugh.

“My eyes are up here.”

“I’m aware.” Loki smiles, not moving his gaze. Tony rolls his eyes.

“Get out, I need to get dressed.”

“Alright, send me back out to the eternal dullness.”

“You’ll live.” Tony laughs, watching him walk out closing the door behind him.

_

Now dressed Tony leaves the bathroom, looking around the living room, finding Stephen and Loki gone.

“They’re in your room,” Steve says, standing from the couch.

“Oh,” Tony says, wondering why they would go in there. Maybe Loki really just wanted to be somewhere Steve wasn’t. “Okay.” He turns for his room but Steve steps forward.

“Tony- we need to talk.”

“Yeah, actually, we do.”

Steve seemed caught off guard by Tony’s agreement but only allowed that to stop him for a second before recovering.

“I- something doesn’t feel right here.”

“What?” That’s not where he thought Steve would start this off.

“Loki and Stephen- most Loki though. There’s something off about them.”

_“What?”_

“Your partners they-”

“No don’t.” Tony raises his hand in a stop gesture. “I heard what you said, I don’t need you to repeat. What I want to know is why you’re saying it. You know what, as a matter of fact, I don’t want to know. I don’t care. I’m tired, and I’ve got too much shit going on in my brain to deal with your bullshit. I’ll talk to you in the morning Steve. G’night.”

Steve calls his name, but Tony just turns going into his room and closing the door behind him.

Stephen and Loki look up from where they are sitting on his bed. “Everything alright?”

“Why do you both keep asking me that?” He sighs the weight of the entire day crashing down on him.

“Because everything doesn’t look alright.” Stephen's voice is soft and closer than Tony anticipated. He opens his eyes- not remembering when he closed them and Stephen is right there next to him, Loki standing now too but still over by the bed.

“I’ll be fine. My life is usually a bit of a train wreck. It just more of a train wreck than usual today.”

“I’m sorry,” Stephen whispers, hand coming up to rub Tony’s shoulder comfortingly. “We should get some sleep. You might feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah.” Tony agrees and then processes the whole sentence. “Wait- we?” He looks between the two and realizes they aren’t wearing the same clothes they came in wearing, they are now wearing pajamas. “You’re sleeping here?”

“We did tell Steve we often spend the night together.” Loki reminds.

“So much so that we plan on living together.” Stephen adds. “It’d seem weird if we didn’t.” 

“You’ve got a point.” Tony runs a hand over his eyes. Steve’s already trying to get Tony not to trust them for some reason, and he’s already trailing the idea of them not really being together. Goddamn spies checking up on him and ruining everything.

Them being in here is probably the only reason Steve didn’t follow him and continue whatever the hell he was about to say. If they left now who’s to say Steve wouldn’t just use the opportunity to badger him all night.

“Okay- I’ll sleep on the floor. You two take the bed.”

“No,” Stephen says. “You’re not sleeping on the floor, we are the guests, if anyone sleeps on the floor it’ll be us.”

“I’m not going to make the two of you sleep on the floor. Take the bed.” Tony insisted.

“Why don’t we share the bed?” Loki proposed.

“Share the bed?” Tony repeated looking at Stephen for his reaction.

Stephen shrugged, looking to Tony for an answer.

“You guys don’t have to do this. I’ve slept on the floor plenty of times. It’s actually more comfortable than the bed sometimes.”

“Is it truly?” Stephen prodded.

“Fuck it.” Tony just gives up. If they want to sleep on the bed too then fine. It’s a king size anyway. They’ve got enough room. He walks around the two and climbs up on the bed, Loki’s next to him in a second.

“You don’t mind if I sleep on the edge, do you?”

“Nope, not at all.” Tony moves, crawling the bed to the other side, but before he makes it all the way, Stephen’s at that edge, smiling innocently.

“I like sleeping on the edge as well…”

That’s how Tony ended up stuck in between the married couple, lying face up, smiling at the ceiling wondering how this day would have gone if he just said no to Steve like any normal person would. It doesn’t take long for him to get used to the feeling of having two other people in his bed, and his eyelids grow heavier and heavier until they close and he’s drifting off to sleep.

Loki watches Tony closely, watching his breathing slow, and waiting until he begins to softly snore. Then he looks over Tony’s head at Stephen who’s watching as well.

“He’s asleep,” Loki whispers.

“Good. What is it you wanted to tell me?”

“I think Tony is starting to remember what really happened during the Chitahuri Invasion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bambino = Baby  
> “Non puoi fidarti di loro, amore mio. Ti impediranno di salvarmi.” = "You can not trust them, my love. They will prevent you from saving me. "


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am loving getting everyone's theories on what they think is going on. No one's got it quite yet but some of you are close. 
> 
> Also I think i should change the summary of the story (Since everyone's telling me it doesn't work with the story lmao), but i suck at summaries and don't know what to change it to lol. 
> 
> Also there's this Iron-strange YouTube video I keep watching and it gave me an idea for another Stephen/Tony fic that I will start writing sometime today because I have no self-control when it comes to writing fan-fiction (i'm not kidding- i have four word documents of started IronStrange fics- stay tuned I will be uploading them not long from now.) So you should check that out because it's amazing. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY1hmMDzjNE
> 
> and also this one, it's Stony focused but at the end it has Ironstrange and I love it
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZupELcRvvw&t=18s
> 
>  
> 
> Also I am going to try and update the tags every chapter so that i'm not spoiling the plot really- just letting ya know. 
> 
> (i haven't slept yet. Send help.)

Tony was going to die.

It was hot, his skin was on fire, he was melting into the sheets of his bed.

Stephen and Loki had been whispering in heated debate not long ago.

_“What do you mean he remembers?”_

_“Me, he kept saying he recognized me from somewhere.”_

_“We live in the building.”_

_“That’s what I said, but he was adamant on saying that's not where he knew me from.”_

_“What did you do?”_

_“I didn’t do anything.”_

_“Damn it, Loki we swore we wouldn’t do anything. That we’d let it go. You know what’s at stake.”_

_“I know what I promised and I stuck to it. I give you my word.”_ Stephen looked over Tony’s head at the trickster and searched his eyes for any sign of dishonesty, but found only sincerity. Then he looks down to Tony’s sleeping form as his face is pushed into the pillow, drooling now. He lightly pushes some stray hairs off of Tony’s face giving him a full look at the man. 

 _“He can’t remember. It’s not possible.”_ He leans forward and kisses Tony gently on the forehead so as not to stir him into consciousness. _“No matter how much we want him to.”_

But that was earlier, and the two have since gone to sleep. Right now, Tony is currently dying.

Living alone for a year has been long enough to forget about body heat. At some point, Stephen had curled an arm around Tony’s hip and was pressed against his entire side. The contact and their combined heats trapped against the blanket had Tony waking from his sleep when he couldn’t find comfort.

Sweat stuck his hair to his forehead and whenever he kicked his feet to remove the blanket he only found resistance because it was anchored around Loki’s and Stephen’s bodies. He huffed heavily and whined pushing Stephen away from him so he could breathe, but his tired limbs barely managed to nudge the man, so it ended up with him most slapping at Stephen’s hand. Stephen groaned not seconds later waking from Tony’s movements.

“Wazzzit?” Stephen mumbled his question into the mattress where his face was pressed.

“Hot,” Tony complained, slapping at the hand again when Stephen only presses closer to him, then he moves, pushing at Loki who has his back turned to the two, moving the three of them and Tony huffs in annoyance.

“Loki,” Stephen says waking him.

“Yes?” Loki asks, not moving an inch, or even bothering to open his eyes.

“Tony’s hot.”

Loki shifts at that, moving to lay on his back and sitting up, pulling his shirt over his head, before reaching for Tony pulling him up. Tony is conflicted trying to decide between complaining about being moved and woken up at – good lord it’s four in the morning- or being grateful as the blanket is pulled off him and a wave of cool air hit his body.

He settles for a confused grunt when Loki’s fingers grab at the hem of his shirt and it’s quickly pulled over his head and off him.

“Wha’ya’doin’?” Tony is too tired to form full sentences.

“Hush,” Loki whispered, throwing the shirts on the floor and pushing Tony back to lay on the bed. Stephen immediately cuddles up behind him again, and he feels the blanket being pulled around the three. Loki scoots up against his chest flush with Tony’s and suddenly everything’s making much more sense. Loki’s skin is so cold, _very_ cold. Tony would be worried if he hadn’t been so hot before. It’s like hugging an ice pack, a really soft, muscle defined ice pack that can hug you back.

Loki’s cold at his front and Stephen’s heat at his back all trapped under the blanket created a balance of temperature that made Tony never want to leave the bed again. The content sigh that he let out sounded more of a deep moan and he didn’t care. This was heaven. It’s possible he died from the heat and entered heaven- this was it, all eternity _this_ is where he wanted to be.

They all fall asleep like that, not waking for the rest of the night.

_

Bucky spits blood onto the ground, and sighed, this was getting boring. “Is that the best you got? My little sister used to throw a meaner punch than you.”

The Hydra agent balled his fist and punched Bucky again. Boy did that one hurt, someone’s pride must be suffering, he chuckles internally, holding back his winces. He’s good at hiding he pain. Years of being the Winter Soldier taught him to work through the pain, no matter what finish the mission. He had to finish his.

What was his mission currently you ask?

Not letting them turn him back into the Winter Soldier. They are trying to weaken his body and mind. They think it’s just sheer willpower keeping The Solder back. That somehow, he’s conditioned himself to withstand them.

That is not the case.

Tony- in the short time that they’d known each other, had gotten in contact with some princess from Wakanda and they’d worked out a way to deactivate the triggers altogether. The Winter Soldier for all intents and purposes is gone.

However- Hydra has the book, the money, and the means to rebreak his mind. They have the chair. Once they realize that no he doesn’t, in fact, have triggers anymore, they will simply make new ones, and the won’t be able to stop them. All he has to do is hold up the lie a little longer.  No doubt everyone’s looking for him.

He knew Steve had planned to go and talk to Tony, tell him everything that’s going on, but it’s possible he didn’t go once he stopped checking in. Even if he did the rest of the team was more than capable, he just needed to be patient.

“That’s enough!” The Hydra agent stops immediately, pulling back from the punch he was about to throw and then stand at attention. Bucky himself stills as well. The agents only listen to that immediately to one damn person. Not that he knows how they always know it’s her. She has a new voice evetime she walks into the building. This time she sounds like a man. Bucky can’t see her yet. “What you’re doing is useless. The Solider is gone.”

No, no, no. How the hell did she find out?

“What do you mean?” The Hydra agent asks, The Clone steps forward, only this time she’s wearing Tony’s face. Bucky gasps at the sight.

“What the hell did you do to Tony!?” Bucky yells. Straining against the chains around him, uselessly. The Clone smiles at him and it’s the exact way Tony would.

“Nothing a band-aid can’t fix.”

“So, you know where they are?” The Hydra agent asks, but The Clone frowns.

“No- there was something wrong with his mind. I had to let him live, but it’s fine, it will be fun to play with him until I figure everything out.”

“You leave him alone,” Bucky warns. “You leave all of them alone.”

She turns back to him, eyes shining green. “I’d worry about myself if I were you. Without the Winter Soldier, the boss has no use for you. Your days are numbered, use them wisely.”

_

The next time Tony wakes up, the sun is high, and the blanket is nowhere to be seen. Stephen’s gone as well, but he’s still cuddled half under Loki’s body, but it’s nice. When he looks up at the man, he finds the eyes already looking down at him, smiling softly.

“Anyone ever tell you that you smile like the Cheshire cat?”

“Yes actually, they have.”

“Good to know I’m not alone in that assessment.” Tony smiles. He knows he should move. Cuddling up in bed with someone else’s husband isn’t something that’s on the right side of the moral compass, but he’s comfortable and doesn’t want to.

He decides it’s okay to stay like this, just for a little while. Loki’s thumb traces gently over Tony’s bare collarbone and Tony remembers how in the night Loki had pressed their bare torsos together to cool him down. It’s odd now that he thinks about it. How had Stephen known that Loki could cool him down to allow all of them to still have the blanket? That it would be so comforting that he’d fall right back asleep.

“Your skin is so cold.”

“Do you not like it?”

“No, I like it.” Tony brings his own hand up to lightly press his fingers to Loki’s shoulder, the cold traveling to his hand. “I think it’s interesting. Does it have something to do with your circulation? Or is a condition of some kind?”

Loki shakes his head. “No, just simply the way I am.”

“Really? What happens when you get really hot? Or too cold?”

“There was once where I experienced extreme heat, I got very sick, but it was truly extreme, I doubt I will ever come into contact with something like that again.”  There was a faraway look in Loki’s eye as if he was thinking back on whatever that extreme heat.

“This right now doesn’t bother you?” It’s certainly not as hot as last night was, the three of them all sharing heat under a blanket, but Tony would probably be hot if not for Loki’s cool skin still pressed against his.

“No, this is perfect.” Loki moves, holding his body over Tony’s caging him in with his arms on either side of him. He leans down and brushes his lips against Tony’s mouth gently, silently asking if it’s okay, and when Tony leans in, its back the filthy, rough, deep kissing that has Tony gasping for breath in a matter of seconds.

Loki drops down to his elbows so he can use his hands to hold Tony’s head still controlling the kiss wholly. Just as he’d done before. Tony felt himself getting hard, something about the way Loki took over, claiming every part of Tony like a pro, with no hesitation. The way Tony could just sink into the mattress and let go. His head began to feel hazy but in a good way. A whimper tears out of him when Loki's knee brushes against his erection. Tony can feel Loki's grin against his lips as the trickster reaches down under the waist of Tony’s sweatpants and cups Tony's length through his briefs.

The rush of pleasure snaps Tony out of his haze, and then he’s pushing at Loki's chest trying to put space between each other.

“ _Fuck_ , stop!” Tony scrambles up so hard he ends up pulling the sheet off the corner of the bed.

“Are you hurt? What's wrong?”

“ _What’s wrong!?_ You're married. We should not be- you shouldn't-” Tony's heart is racing. In part, it’s got to do with how his skin is buzzing with the memory of Loki's touch, and his erection aching for more. It’s also to so with the growing panic and sense of guilt. “Your marriage is none of my business, but I am not going to be the person that you ruin it with. Go _long_ for someone else.”

“Tony, it’s not-“

“No, I don’t want to hear it!” He storms out of the room and doesn’t realize how much a mistake that is until he’s down the hall and in the kitchen, where Stephen’s reading something from his phone cup of coffee in hand.

Tony stiffens as he realizes what he must look like, erection visible against the fabric of his sweatpants, hair mussed, lips red, wet and swollen. There’s only one person down the hall that Tony could have been kissing. Tony holds his breath as all he can think about is how he felt walking in on Steve and Bucky. The shock, the hurt, the anger. He panics, wanting to explain it away, to make it less than whatever the hell it is.

“I- I’m- we- I, it’s nothing- don’t be mad! I’m sorry.” He shook his head, trying to hide his erection but he’s not wearing a shirt to pull it down as a cover, so instead, he just uses his hands.

“Mad about what?” Stephen chuckles, crossing the space between then and pulling Tony in for a kiss, tasting of sugar and coffee. When they pull apart Stephen looks down finally noticing Tony’s predicament and clears his throat humorously. “I told Loki to let you sleep.”

“I did,” Loki says, walking up from the hall. “He woke up on his own.”

“Doesn’t look that way.” Stephen comments and then pulls Loki in for a kiss just as he did with Tony, and Tony watching it insted of feeling it can just see how domestic it is. The comforting hand on the back of the neck, the way it slides down to the small of his back.  Stephens calm claiming manner mixing with Loki’s aggressive dominating kiss. They find a middle mellow ground and they fit perfectly.

Tony has to look away suddenly feeling as if he doesn’t belong in his own kitchen. He feels gross, having just kissed Loki, taking away from what perfect way they complement each other. It almost makes him resent the cold skinned man, how could he even dare to do anything to betray something so perfect that they clearly have. Molding into each other with ease.

Tony looks to the living room and finds it empty. “Where’s Steve?”  

“He said he was going out for a run.” Stephen supplies, grabbing his coffee off the counter and resumes drinking it. That sounds like Steve, morning jogs are like his religion. He’ll probably be gone for another hour or so depending on when he left. Tony relaxes, their talk will have to happen when he gets back, but for now, he gets to eat breakfast in peace. He walks past the two over to the fridge and looks to see what he’s got. He could go for a bagel or eggs. He might have bacon.

“You guys want anything? I might make eggs. I’ve got cereal too.”

They both agree to eggs and Tony pulls everything he needs out and sets it on the counter. Thinking that Steve will probably get food while he’s out, he decides not to make anything for the man.

He’s cracking his second egg into the bowl when he realizes something.

Steve isn’t here.

Stephen knew that he was here when Steve left.

So what the hell did Stephen kiss Tony for?

“You kissed me,” Tony says, looking up at Stephen.

“I did.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to.” Stephen shrugs. “Are you not okay with that?”

“I…” Tony doesn’t know if he’s okay with that. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? That he _wanted_ to. He’s married, he just admitted that right in front of his husband!

The front door opens and Steve walks in, saving Tony from having to answer the question and focus on more important things.

 “Hey Tony, mind if I use your shower?” Steve asks, walking over, smelling heavily of sweat and musk.

“Go ahead.” Tony waves his hand, grimacing as the smell hits his nose. “Don’t use my soap.”

“Thanks.” Steve grabs a towel from his bag on the couch and heads off down the hall to the bathroom. Tony turns back to the two, but he can’t bring himself to even look at their faces. 

“What’s wrong?” Stephen asks.

“Nothing.” Tony shakes his head. “But I need to talk to Steve alone. So, I think you guys should… go for a few hours at least.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Stephen lifts an eyebrow. Tony knows what he means, both times he’s been left alone they almost kissed. This is the whole reason for this lie of being in a relationship. But that was before Tony heard the phone call before he felt betrayed all over again.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, we’ll be next door,” Stephen says already walking away. “I’m keeping the cup.” Tony realizes it’s the one that says, ‘I love ironman’ on it, and he chuckles. It’s his favorite one, but he’s got plenty of Ironman merchandise. In fact, he probably has too much for someone who’s trying to act like they aren’t ironman

Once they are gone, he takes a moment in that silence to just breathe and keep calm, trying to think back to a time in his life where things were simple and carefree. He laughs when he realizes it hasn’t been that way since he was a teenager.

Steve comes out of the shower a few minutes later. He’s not surprised. Steve always takes showers as if it’s a race to get done the fastest. Something about wasting water and efficiency. 

“Where’s Stephen and Loki?” Steve asks jeans on, chest soaking wet, and towel in this hair. Tony’s eyes track down his muscled chest eyes wide. Yup, Steve’s got much more definition in this last year.

“They left. Go clothe yourself so we can talk.”

Steve chuckles and goes to get a shirt from his bag, throwing it on. “Better?”

“Much.”

“So… talking.” Steve drums his fingers on the counter, looking nervous.  

“Yeah, seemed like there was something you really wanted to say last night?”

“Yeah Tony…. How well do you know Loki and Stephen?”

“Well, enough. Why?”

“I was talking to them last night while you were in the shower, and Stephen said he was a doctor. I looked him up, and he hasn’t been a doctor in five years. In fact, he went off the grid five years ago. No job, no money trail, I couldn’t even tie him to the address next door. And Loki, it’s like he doesn’t exist.”

Tony shakes his head. “Even if I were to believe any of that, why were you looking them up in the first place?”

“I care about your safety Tony, I was just checking them out.”

“Don’t fucking-” Tony takes a deep breath. “Don’t play the I care about you card. It doesn’t excuse this behavior, it doesn’t excuse any negative behavior that gears toward stalking. Why are you really here?”

“The apartment. I’m moving.”

“Oh really? What’s the address for this apartment? What are the names of the tenants moving out? What’s your landlord's name?”

“Tony I… I can’t.”

“I know you can’t tell me, because there is no apartment. So please cut the bullshit. You came up here with this lie, why? What is it you really want?”

“I need your help, Tony. The team needs your help. Hydra is back, they’ve only grown more ruthless, and organized. All over the world, we’ve found bases, and agents working for them. They’ve got a new leader, we don’t know who, and they’re looking for something. What- we don’t know, what we do know is, we’re not getting anywhere without you, and neither is Hydra.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hydra is- Tony a few months ago Natasha and Bucky took down a hydra base here in America, there was an entire room dedicated to you. Photos, names, dates, things connected to ironman, shield, even SI. They are watching you, have been for a while. Hydra is planning something big, and for some reason, you are a very important part of it.”

“No.” Tony shakes his head. “Hydra knows I’m ironman, they know I worked with the Avengers, they’re just keeping tabs on me to see if we’re onto them.”

“Tony- we are on to them, we’ve been taking down their bases left and right. We know they’re back, so does Shield. This isn’t preventative surveillance. This is active planning, this casing a target, and not for killing. They want you. They want everything they can get about you.”

  “Okay… so, Hydra wants me to make weapons for them or something. Wouldn’t be the first time that happened. Ten Rings, Obie. It’s nothing I can’t handle. You could have just called and warned me, you didn’t need to come back here, lie to me, and try an… and make me care about you again. That’s just extreme.”

“I’m sorry, I was wrong. Natasha told me not to approach you this way. Falcon too. But I- it’s not just about needing your help or warning you Tony. I meant what I said. I do care about you. I do miss working side by side with you. The team- we work great, we care about each other, have each other’s backs. But there’s something missing without you. Not just the tech, or the money. But- god, just hearing your voice over the comms, your snarky wit, your jokes, and commentary, it put me at ease, it made the fighting bearable. With you, we all felt like more than a team, on and off the field. You- you really connect us.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re all falling apart without me.” He replies dryly.

“We get by. But this seemed like a chance to bring us all back together.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t lied to me every step of the way and tried to manipulate me. But no- I don’t think we can go back to that.”

“Tony doing this alone- you don’t have all the facts yet. Hydra- they have a plan to get you- they have enhanced people, in ways I’ve never seen before. We need you, and you need us.”

“I haven’t needed you for a year, and you haven’t needed me either. I will do fine on my own.” Tony truly meant it. “I think you should leave.”

“Tony-”

“Go, Steve!”

Steve had sighed, following the order, grabbing his things and leaving. Tony sighed, shaking his head, then he wondered what the hell Hydra wanted with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Gracious, over four-hundred kudos' this is a first for me ever getting this many one work and so quickly as well. Thank you all for taking the time to read and like and comment, it means the world to me. I'm so pumped for this story and I keep looking forward to everyone's comments, you're all amazing! 
> 
> Also, I felt like some things were confusing in this chapter so in the end notes imma try and clarify some things so not to spoil the chapter before you read it.

 The world was ever changing, a new problem every day. A more advanced problem, a more advanced person, and criminal.  But there seemed to be an order, a reason and a rhyme for everything. That was until aliens fell from the sky.

Tony Stark was not prepared for that, Shield was not prepared for that, and the world was not prepared for that.

 Tony built the Ironman suit to save himself and right his wrongs. He’d started to do that, fighting people, collecting his weapons from the wrong hands. Cleaning up his company and stopping the weapons development sector focusing on other projects that focused on healing the world instead of killing it.

Then there was a hole in the sky at the top of his very own building.

He hadn’t even known what was going on. Shield had acquired something called the Tesseract from the sea along with Captain America and it had been stolen the night before. No one knows who, even to this day, but they had set the cube up and allowed the portal to open allowing the Chitauri to come down and begin wreaking havoc on New York.

On the battlefield that had once been 200 Park Avenue, Tony met what would afterwards be called the Avengers. A woman with fire red hair, The Black Widow. A snarky archer, Hawkeye. A man with mechanical wings, Falcon. An Asgardian, The god of thunder. Tony had already known Bruce, and he’d known about Steve ever since they located him in the ocean.

They’d all fought together, minutes after meeting, but somehow, it’d worked, they’d won.

Tony would never forget looking up into space, seeing that explosion, feeling the weightlessness, thinking he was going to die up there all alone. A single thought that crossed his mind asking if he deserved to die that way.

But he hadn’t died. He’d woken up to the Avengers standing over him, all looking concerned.

They’d truly become a team at that moment, all caring and depending on each other.

The Tesseract had disappeared after that. No one saw it ever again.

_

Tony walked over to his desk, turning on his computer and muttering angerly.

“Stupid Steve.” He huffed. “Probably doesn’t even know how to use google.” Tony looked up Stephen and Loki, which had proven to be difficult. As he was searching he realized he didn’t even known Stephen’s last name or Loki’s for that matter. After searching for any record of a male doctor named Stephen in New York he’d finally found him.

Stephen Strange.

Huh. That sounded familiar.

He did a search on his name, looking for any information. Trying to prove Steve’s comments wrong. Billing address, social security number, all that good stuff. He’d found it too. Stephen was who he said he was. Last worked at Metro-General Hospital. He smiles when he finds photo evidence.

Suck it, Steve.

He scrolled, trying to find something more recent, just to help solidify his trust in the man. Which was odd- he’d only just met the two. Why he continued defending them long after Steve left, he wasn’t sure, but he was going to see it through.

The most recent article about Stephen Strange was dated five years ago.

Tony read the article carefully.

_Stephen Strange, brilliant Doctor of Metro-General Hospital was in a tragic car accident months ago, causing damage to both his hands, sources say he will never be able to perform surgery again, much less practice medicine._

The article goes on for another four paragraphs talking about Stephen’s successes as a doctor, and how his inability to perform medical miracles will be a loss to the world, blah, blah, blah. Tony was more concerned about the fact that this was it… five years ago Stephen lost his ability to practice medicine so why was he still claiming to be a doctor?

Tony shook his head. This didn’t mean anything bad. It’s not like he flaunts _his_ injury to the world. It’s no one’s business but his own. Stephen went to Med school, he passed and he was a doctor for many years. He earned the right to claim to be a surgeon still. 

He moved onto searching for Loki and got nothing.

Nada, zilch, zero.

There was nothing anywhere for Loki. Not even a marriage license tying him to Stephen.

As much as the thought makes Tony want to wash his mouth out with soap, Steve was right. Tony couldn’t even trace how they paid for the apartment next door. He understands Steve’s concern now. With Hydra out there, knowing they were watching Tony, and closely from the sound of it. What’s better than right next door? Somehow even with all the facts in front of him- or lack thereof- it’s just not connecting. Something doesn’t fit. He can’t see them as Hydra. He’s not saying he trusts them…

No actually.

That _is_ what he’s saying, he does trust them. He’s not expecting one of them to save his life anytime soon. But he’s trusted them more in the last twenty-four hours than he had with Steve their entire relationship.

He slept bare chest pressed against Loki all night and it was the best sleep he’s had in years. Even with the fake skin, he hasn’t taken his shirt off around anyone he didn’t trust in years. Yet he allowed some stranger in his bed to just pull his shirt over his head and not even think twice to make a fuss. He let them spend the night, here, in his apartment with all his things.

He trusted them without thinking.

The sound of his phone ringing drew his attention. He pulled it from his pocket and sighed at the unsaved number. He debated not answering but thinks better of it. The last time he ignored a call it was Pepper letting him know she got a new number.

“Hello?”

“Anthony?”

Tony bolts up from his desk chair, sending papers and tools scattering to the floor.

“Mom?”

“Bambino. You need to fix this. You need to save me.” Her voice is weak, but the emotion earnest, fearful.

“Fix what? Save you how?”

“I can't breathe” Breaks into a coughing fit. “It hurts, bambino.”

He grows frantic now. “What hurts!?” The call clicks out and Tony yells for his mom again looking at the phone with concern, calling the number back but it only goes straight to voicemail.

“Jarvis trace that call. Where’d it come from?” He orders Jarvis through the phone.

There’s a moment of silence, but he can see his phone opening up a map of New York and zooming on as he traces. “It seems to be coming from here.” Jarvis’ concludes.

“Here? In the building?” Tony asks, turning toward the door.

“No. Across the street.” Jarvis reiterates. Tony scrambles over to the window and rips the curtain out of the way. He doesn't see anyone out there.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Tony puts his shoes on and runs down, and across the street. There's still no sign of anyone. Any of the cars outside could have contained the caller. He's walking back in when he steps on glass. The crunch of it beneath his shoe makes him stop.

It's a phone. Crushed. Has four indent marks like fingers. As if someone squeezed it like a stress ball. One more trace of physical proof. He went back up to his apartment and took the phone with him. “Can you get fingerprints off this Jarvis?” He asks, holding his phone’s camera up so Jarvis could scan the phone with projected ultraviolet lighting. There are all sorts of smudges on what’s left of the phone’s screen, but Jarvis does manage to get a fingerprint. He watches his phone as the scan loads searching through the database.

Maria Stark.

He sits there staring at the result for a long time. He doesn’t believe in ghosts. He believes in science, magic, and even aliens. But not ghosts. His mother is dead. But somehow, she’s making house calls and leaving traces of herself behind.

_Hydra- they have a plan to get you- they have enhanced people, in ways I’ve never seen before._

Could this be Hydra? Some sort of enhanced person running around with his mother’s face and fingerprints? Even smelling like her? Remember the things she used to call him. Their shared secrets.

It has to be. Nothing else makes sense, and it would be too much of a coincidence. Hydra looking into everything about him. Supposedly wanting him for something. What is it though? If they wanted Tech or Ironman, why not just kidnap him and wipe his mind like they did with Barnes. Why the emotional manipulation? Why his mother?

_Save me, bambino._

How would Hydra benefit by opening the wounds of losing his parents? How is wanting to save his mother from a car crash that happened years ago going to give them what they want?

_

“What do you mean he kicked you out?”

“What part of that sentence is hard to understand?” Steve rolls his eyes at Sam. Dropping his bags along the wall of the warehouse. It’s a new place, they haven’t been in America long, and they needed somewhere not far from Tony.

“The part where you were supposed to stay there for three days, and are back after one.”

“Tony figured out that there wasn’t an apartment, he confronted me, and then he kicked me out.”

“Did you tell him about Hydra? What they did?”

“Yeah. He thinks they want him to make weapons or something. Like Clint guessed.”

“Yeah, ‘cause Clint’s always right about these things.” Sam muttered, crossing his arms. “So, what’s Stark planning to do?”

“I don’t know. Whatever it is, he wants to do it alone. From the sound of it, he plans on ignoring them unless they show themselves.”

“Ignoring it?” Sam shakes his head in disbelief. “Why would he- Jesus. You didn’t tell him about his parents.”

Steve pauses. “It didn’t come up.”

“You told him about Hydra, he confronted you, and it didn’t come up? Cap, you were supposed to bring it up. That’s why you went in the first place!”

“I know, alright!” Steve snaps. “I thought it’d be easier. But I went in there and- and it was Tony. Just all at once I realized how much I messed up. He doesn’t trust me anymore.” Steve looks away, blinking back the sting in his eyes threatening to become tears. “That and there were variables I wasn’t expecting. There are these two guys. Tony’s dating them or something- seems serious, I looked them up, and it’s all shady. I think they might be spies for Hydra.”

“Boyfriends? That’s how you think Hydra’s getting their info on him?”

“It’s all I got at the moment. Natasha never mentioned them. So, either they hid from her somehow, or she didn’t think they were a threat.”

“She doesn’t think a lot of things are a threat, but she gives full reports, always.”

“That’s why I was worried. That’ll have to wait until she gets back. Any word from her?”

“Yeah. They cleared the base, Bucky wasn’t there. Neither was The Clone.”

“You think they knew we were coming?”

“It’s possible. Or they could just be ready for the next step.”

Steve shakes his head. With Bucky, the video, and The Clone… he knows their next step is Tony. He doesn’t know how they plan to manipulate him, or what they hope to get, but he intends to figure it out before they make their move.

“Natasha and Clint should be back soon then. Until they do, we need to figure out what’s inside this.” He opens his phone and pulls up a photo of the box inside of Tony’s dresser. He took several of them before putting it back in place.

“Wow, is that vibranium?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure of it.”

“And this is what? Tony’s? Where’d he get vibranium?” 

“He’s worked with Shrui, and he’s friends with T’Challa. They might have given him some.”

“This lock… that looks really complex.”

“Yeah.” Steve nods. “I couldn’t pick it. With the number of tumblers in that thing, I’m pretty sure Natasha couldn’t even pick it.”

“So, whatever’s inside must be what Hydra wants. Did you ask Tony about it?”

“No, I already told you, he doesn’t think Hydra’s a threat, and he doesn’t trust me. Bringing it up would have only made things worse.”

“Well, they’re not getting better just leaving him in the dark. You should go back, tell him everything.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, let’s just keep an eye on him, and find Buck.”

_

Hydra was back. Organizing. Managing to keep Steve and the rest of the Avengers busy for the better part of a year and also keep their return out of the news. They aren’t causing mass panic or destruction. So they’re taking their time. Something that they want to involve Tony with. If It’s a weapon they want built, why not just take him? Why learn, why watch, why wait? He’s been alone for an entire year. They’ve had plenty of chances for a snatch and grab. 

There’s nothing new going on with SI. So, they can’t be waiting for him to make something on his own and steal it. Even if they were, would it be worth the effort? Worth the risk of ending up on Ironman’s radar?

Unless they thought they were already on his radar. If they thought he was working with the Avengers still- No if they were watching they would know he hasn’t so much as spoken to the team in a year. They know he’s alone, they know SI doesn’t make weapons anymore, they know he’s ironman.

They’re watching him because there’s something they don’t know. Something they want to know, but for a year haven’t been able to figure out.

The problem is, Tony doesn’t know what they don’t know either. Or what the hell it might have to do with his mom.  Even his mysterious fake boyfriends seem connected.

The man without a paper trail Loki, and the once doctor Stephen Strange.

Tony stopped pacing eyes going wide with realization. He runs out of his apartment and doesn’t hesitate to shove open the neighboring door. Loki and Stephen look up from the couch where they lounge causally watching The Price is Right.

“You’re that wizard! Dr. Strange!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically you can assume everything after The first Avenger movie no longer applies here. Everyone's back story is pretty much the same. But once we get to the avenger movies and anything that comes after i've played with things and messed things up. For Instance Civil War hasn't happened, the accords were never even thought up. Age of Ultron never happened, i don't think Wanda or Pietro are in this, but if they are, then they will probably still be working for Hydra because they were never found and they never met the Avengers.... you see the fallout. That applies to everything. Characters, Hydra, and the Infinity Stones. Whatever really happened to them might be changed or the timeline around how it happened may be changed. 
> 
> Jarvis is not a known thing by anyone but Tony and possibly Rhody and Pepper. Tony keeps Jarvis to himself as like an Ironman sidekick, so he rarely uses him, and he's not connected to anything but his phone and the Ironman suit, but he can connect to the internet and be used to hack things, idk yet.
> 
> I feel like there's something i'm forgetting to explain, so if this doesn't make sense or there is still something in the story confusing don't hesitate to ask lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually gave me anxiety, we have my sad second attempt at almost smut thrown in and i rewrote it three times. I think it sucks, but i left it in there anyway. 
> 
> Also I've added Pietro and Wanda. 
> 
> Anddd that's all i have to say anxiety sucks! Kay thax bye!

“What does calling him achieve? It’s not like he’d tell his mother where they are. Dead or not.”

“He can’t tell her, even if he wanted to.” The Clone says. “He doesn’t know where they are.”

“What?” The Hydra Agent asks, “Then why’d we spend all this time watching him!? Than-”

The Clone was up in a second. Across the room, in half the speed it should have taken someone her size, and her adamantium dagger was pressed against the Hydra agent’s throat with enough pressure that he bled around it.

“Do not ever say his name. _Ever._ Or I will cut your tongue from your mouth and make you wear it around your neck as a lesson to others. Do not question the plan, do not question him, and do not question me.” 

“I- I’m sorry.” He whispers, she lowers her blade.

“Tony Starks mind is corrupt. A large section of memory missing. The section we need. Using his mother, I can make him want to bring her back. And for that, he’ll need to remember.”

The whole compound shakes with a large explosion off in the distance. The Clone rolls her eyes. Stupid Avengers. Always getting in the way. No doubt they’ve come for James Barnes. She couldn’t care less about the man since he no longer is capable of being controlled. She hadn’t needed him in the first place. It was just icing on the cake.

“Let’s go.” She orders the Hydra agent. They’d simply go to their other base and continue with their plan.

_

As soon as Natasha and Clint arrived they’d begin looking for Bucky. Ever since they got the triggers out of his head, Bucky had been given a tracker, just in case Hydra had taken him and managed to bring the Winter Soldier back. Steve hated the idea of it, but Bucky insisted, and the rest of the team thought it would be a good idea. It wasn’t easy to take the Winter Soldier down or track him the first time, no one wanted to do it a second.

Bucky had just been working at the chain wearing it down with pressure and friction from his metal arm when the room shook. He smiled and relaxed.

“Finally.” He whispers. Ignoring the ache in his jaw it caused him. Sounds of footsteps growing closer made him call out. The was no one else in the building except for the one Hydra agent and the Clone. Meaning that there must be another active base somewhere nearby.

 “Bucky? Is it still you?” Steve asks, hesitating.

“Yeah punk, it’s still me. Hurry up an untie me, I’m gettin’ a crick in my neck.”

Steve smiles relaxing and moving around slamming his shield on the lock splitting it in half and the chains loosen and drop. Bucky immediately stands stretching his arms.

“You okay?”

“Never better. But you sure took your sweet time.”

“Sorry, Natasha and Clint searched the base in Siberia and couldn't find you. I was busy with Tony.”

Bucky’s eyes widen. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah.” Steve shrugs. “Why wouldn’t he be?”

“The Clone.” He says. “She got to him.”

Steve stills. “What?”

“She came back here yesterday wearing his face. I was worried she might have killed him.”

Steve shakes his head, there’s only one way the Clone can copy someone and he should have noticed if she got to Tony. “No, that’s not possible.”

“What’s not possible?” Clint asked as he and Natasha walked into the room.

“The base is clear. No one’s here.” Natasha supplied, as it took precedence over Clint’s question getting answered.

“The Clone got to Tony.” Bucky repeated.

Clint’s eyes went wide. “Really? When?”

“Yesterday.” Bucky shrugged. Although it could have been any time before that.

“Is he alive?” Natasha asked, looking to Steve.

“Yeah, he’s fine, I was just with him this morning. Not a scratch on him.”

“We’ll have to check again.”  Natasha said. “Did you tell him yet?”

Steve shakes his head. “He kicked me out. He doesn’t trust me.”

“Then he’ll have to trust _us_.”

They take Bucky back to the warehouse and help bandage and clean up.

_

“You’re that wizard Doctor Strange!”

“You figured it out.” Stephen says, turning off the Tv and standing from the couch, Loki follows right after him.

“It’s not that hard.” Tony laughs. “It’s a horrible code name.”

“It wasn’t meant to be one. I’ve no reason to hide my identity. The only people close to me in this world are strong enough to protect themselves, and I’ve no normal life to hide or maintain anymore.”

Tony nods. Stephen can’t be a doctor anymore, and if he’s got no family then what’s there to protect? Tony, on the other hand, has more than enough to lose. His company, his designs. Pepper, Happy, and Rhody. The last thing he needed was his Ironman enemies and his Stark Industries enemies to merge and work together against him. He’d never be safe, never catch a break.

“So, who are you then?” He points to Loki. “You a wizard too? I know you’re not really married.”

“Not legally.” Loki says. “And not a wizard exactly. I do have magic, but I am not from earth.”

“Not from earth? Well, where are you from?”

“Asgard, it’s a plane-“

“You’re Thor’s brother!” Tony yells as the recognition sets in with a wave of excitement. “Loki! I should have got that. He talks about you all the time! Wait- he said you died?”

“I did almost die yes. I was… _saved_ by someone, I’ve been on earth ever since.”

“Why not tell Thor you’re alive?”

“I’m not sure I’d be welcome with open arms. I don’t know if he told you but, I betrayed him.” He looks down to the floor.

“I mean… turning into a snake and stabbing him is pretty rude. But the way he talks about it, it seems like the Asgardian version of a prank.” Tony laughs. 

“He told you about that?”

“Only about twenty times. It might be his favorite story.” Tony shakes his head. “I don’t know why I forgot your name. I should have realized immediately. The cold skin, the name… he even brought down a painted portrait of the two of you once. Why…. Why did I forget that?” Tony looks off to the side, staring at nothing in particular, but he feels like there’s something else he’s forgetting.

“I guess that’s why he looked familiar to you.” Stephen offers.

“Yeah.” Tony nods slowly. “This is a lot better than you two being Hydra spies. That would have been unpleasant.”

“Hydra?” Loki asks, lifting an eyebrow in question.

“it’s a human issue.” Stephen waves off. “We deal with alien, and mystic issues. The rest of earth’s problems fall to you.”

“Everyone’s got their part to play.” Tony shrugs. “So, you two helping me… was that you trying to figure out if you could trust me with your identities? Do you need help with some mystical being trying to eat the earth? Can you fly?” 

“No to all of that.” Stephen chuckles. “We helped you because you asked.”

“Why didn’t you say no? I’m sure the two of you have better things to do than pretend to be Ironman’s boyfriend.”

“You’re right. Being Tony Starks boyfriend is so much better.”

Tony bit back a smile and looked off to the side. “I don’t know about that. My track record with dating isn’t so great. Why else would I need two strangers to pretend they’re in love with me?” He gives a self-deprecating laugh, hating the silence that followed after.

Stephen and Loki exchanged a look. When Stephen shrugged, Loki moved as if it was a command, crowding into Tony’s space with a speed that had Tony stepping back, only for his heel to collide with the door, as he was once again chest to chest with Loki. Coolness radiating off his skin similar to a cool breeze. 

“What?” Tony’s slightly confused at the new development as Loki’s face leans in closer and closer. All he can do is look over the man’s shoulder at Stephen, worried about how he’s going to react, but he doesn’t know how to phrase his question.

“Tony- You are the smartest person in the room. You should already know…” Their noses brush together as he turns his face to whisper directly into his ear. “it was never pretend.”

Tony’s eyes widen only to close as Loki closes that fraction of an inch of space between them, and they kiss. This time it’s different, not in pace or in domination, but how it feels.

Because Steve isn’t here. This isn’t for show, and Stephen is right there behind him. This isn’t hidden kisses when the husband is away, this is… this is real, this is feeling, feeling a lot more than Tony has felt in a very long time.

He begins feeling a little overwhelmed and turns his head, pulling away from the kiss so he can look over Loki’s shoulder at Stephen.

“You’re okay with this?”

Stephen chuckles and walks over, Loki steps to the side, just enough so they both have access to Tony.

“More than okay.” Stephan pulls him into a kiss, and Loki uses that as his chance to let his hands roam over Tony’s body. Caressing and squeezing in all the right places to make Tony jerk and moan. It’s when Stephens own hand wraps around Tony and grabs at his ass does Tony pull back again and moan openly.

“Oh god, what are we doing?”

“Kissing.” Loki says, dropping feather light kisses along Tony’s neck.

“And groping.” Stephen bites Tony’s bottom lip and squeezes his ass again with purpose.

Tony laughs breathlessly and halfway it becomes a low grown. “O-okay. This- yeah, let’s jus’ do this.”

“We’re going to do so much more than this.” Loki whispers right into his ear, and the cold of his skin has nothing to do with the chills that run up Tony’s spine.

_

“Nice to see you back, Barnes.” Sam smiles, clapping Bucky on the shoulder lightly.

“I told you to stop calling me that.” He winces slightly at the movement.

“It’s that or James, and you don’t like James.”

“I don’t like either.”

“Pick the lesser of two evils.”

“How about I pick the third and snap your neck.”

Sam laughs. “I’d take that more seriously if you’d come back the Winter Solider. But you’re not, so you don’t scare me, _James_.”

Bucky’s about to give him some pretty colorful words about all the things he can and will do even without the Winter Soldier before Steve steps in. “That’s enough guys, we got to talk about our next step.”

“And that would be?” Sam asks.

Steve thinks before he speaks. “I say we find The Clone. She’s here somewhere. That’s closer than we’ve ever been before.”

“She was close enough to kiss me. I think I’ve been the closest. It’s not something you want.” Bucky grumbles. He’s not exactly in any condition for a fight right now, especially not with The Clone. She’s strong and fast. Inhumanly strong. It’s not a fight he’d currently win.

“I agree.” Natasha steps up. “Going after her right now would be no different than this last year. Always one step behind and whenever we do get close, someone gets hurt. We need Tony. His tech, his skills on the field, and whatever it is that gives them such an interest in him. We may already be too late if she’s gotten to him.”

“Wait what?” Sam asks. “She got to him?”

“Yeah.” Bucky answers. “She came into the base, looking like him.”

“Cap, why didn’t you say anything?”

Steve raised his hands. “I didn’t know, he wasn’t hurt.”

“That’s not possible.” Sam says.

“It’s not. We need to go see him, there must have been something you missed.” She directs to Steve. “And he needs to know the whole truth.”

“Just wait, Natasha. Think about this, we tell him about his parents, and Bucky, we’ll be lucky if it doesn’t end in a fight. He already doesn’t trust me, telling him will ruin any chance of him sharing what he knows or what he’s hiding.”

“We don’t know that he’s hiding something.” Clint says.

“Actually, we do.” Steve counters, then looks to Sam. “Show them.”

Sam opens his laptop from the desk and pulls up the photos of the box in Tony’s dresser. “This was in Tony’s apartment,” Sam explains. “Steve found it, and couldn’t unlock it. I did some digging and reached out to a locksmith. He told me that this kind of lock can only be opened by the key it was designed for, something about a special mechanism that only clicks when the key is inserted, stopping it from being picked. Add the fact that it’s made of vibranium, and you’re narrowed down to either trying to break the box apart- risking whatever’s inside- or using the key.”

Natasha leans forward and eyes the box carefully. “You think what Hydra want’s is in the box?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods. “I looked through the entire apartment, nothing else stood out. He still keeps the suit hidden in a fake wall in his closet, and it doesn’t look like he’s done any major upgrades to it, or started any plans for weapons. The only thing it seemed he truly had to hide was that box.”

Natasha processes everything and agrees. Steve knows Tony, and how he hides things if there was something else he probably would have caught it. Then again, he was only there for a day. Who knows what he might have missed. “Okay, let’s go ask him.”

“What?”

“Let’s ask him to tell us what’s in the box. You said he doesn’t think Hydra is a threat, but that’s when he thought you didn’t know about the box, and he’s assuming Hydra doesn’t either. Maybe if we tell him we know, he’ll be more open.”

“No- he kicked me out. He won’t let me back in.”

“Fine, Clint and I will go.”

“I want to go.” Sam steps up. “I need out of this damn warehouse.”

Clint chuckles at that and shrugs. “I’m down.”

“I should go.” Bucky sighs. “I should be the one to tell him… about his parent’s.”

“Buck, no, you’re hurt.”

“Nothing broken, nothing even sprained. Just some cuts and bruises. I’m not too hurt to chicken out. He’s going to find out sooner or later. I want to tell him.” Bucky nods, standing, he wasn’t going to back down on this.

“Okay, I guess I can’t talk any of you out of it.”

“Nope.” They all respond in unison.

_

“Fuck, fuck, fuck- I can’t.” Tony moans. This is stupidly blissfully, idiotically amazing, foolishly euphoric.

Despite Loki’s cold touch, sweat clings stray hairs to Tony’s forehead where it was pressed to the mattress and gathered under his arms. The rest of his body was cool, not too overheated by everything. Which was a plus. Not that he could focus on that fact with Loki’s fingers relentlessly pressing against his perineum.

Thankfully they weren’t going any farther than the hand jobs, groping, and the torturous rubbing.  All three had cum already. Tony first, unable to keep himself from spilling in his pants like a teenager. Stephen came next, with Tony’s hand wrapped around him, causing a mess that Tony had wiped off on someone’s shirt. He doesn’t remember who’s, it wasn’t his. He’s still got his on and it’s clean. Loki came last, grinding against Tony’s ass, and spilling inside his pants as well.

After that, there was fumbling and lots of moving to get him here. Stephen below him, Loki behind him. Pants around his ankles. Boxers around his knees, where he’s propped up. Stephens Stephen stroking him slowly, and Loki is biting along the length if his shoulder leaving burning cold hickeys in his wake.

They want to go again, but dammit, he needs a break longer than the time it took to get from the living room to their bedroom. He’s not a teenager anymore. When he flinches from the overstimulation at his front, he only presses back into Loki’s merciless pressure at his back, and it’s an endless cycle back and forth that has him whimpering.

There’s a distant thumping that has Tony stilling, and he looks up.

“Wh- what is that?”

“Just someone knocking on the apartment next door,” Stephen whispers, nibbling at his earlobe. Tony groans as Loki’s hand comes up and pinches one of his nipples.

“Th- that’s my a-apartment.” Tony sighs. “I should g-get that.”

“Or you could ignore it.” Loki murmurs against his skin, and Tony really wants to ignore it, because this is nice. But another knock can be heard and he shakes his head.

“I gotta get it.” Tony slurs, pushing their hands away lightly. Dropping back on the bed and catching his breath. “I’ll just go see what it is, an’ then I’ll come back.”

He stands on shaky legs, pulling his boxers and pants on, when he loses balance as he buttons, almost braining himself on the floor when something catches him.

“What-?” Tony asks as he’s pushed upright by something he can’t get a good look at, and then it’s circling him, a bright red bit of fabric catches his eyes as he’s suddenly wrapped in its hold. He laughs as is surrounds him, squeezing in with force and absolutely flutters and vibrates on him like an excited puppy. A corner of it even presses to his face in frantic movements. His laughs get louder as the pressure and movements tickle at his sides.

“What… haha, w-wwhat is it?” his laughter is uncontrollable now, and he jerks trying to find reprieve. Stephen sits up, smiling.

“All right, that’s enough.” He waves his hand, and almost reluctantly, the assault stops, and the red fabric moves, releasing Tony and hovers in the air in front of him. Now free to get a good look, he marvels at how it flows in the air as if it follows its own laws of gravity.

 “This is the Cloak of Levitation, although it’s acting more like a pet right now.”

“It likes you.” Loki comments, a satisfied smirk on his face, already laying back on the bed. Tony reaches his hand out and the cloak spirals itself around his arm loosely, and shutters as if it likes the feeling.

“Hey, buddy.” Tony whispers, gently, worried he may scare it off, despite its outgoing cuddly nature. He pulls his hands back, remembering the door. Then straightens his shirt and runs a hand through his hair, trying to do _something_ to it. “How do I look?”

“Like you shouldn't be leaving,” Stephen says, the cloak flows wide and flutters around him in a wide circle. He follows it with his eyes. It's not like he wants to. But he is kind of the owner of a multimillion dollar company, Pepper constantly sends carriers with contracts for him to sign. Patents to approve of and product lines. He can't just ignore them.

“I’ll come back.” he promises, and hunts for his shoes, shoving his feet in. When he steps out into the hallway he's expecting a mailman. Not the entire team minus Steve and Thor.

“Oh god what do you want?” he sighs.  Natasha looks him up and down and smirks.

“That's not your apartment. And that's not your shoe.” She doesn’t need to mention the wrinkled state of his clothes or the red hickeys and bite marks littering his neck.

Tony looks down at his feet and huffs. He accidentally put on one of Stephen’s shoes. He shrugs. “Okay, you caught me getting laid. News flash, I like sex.”

“Steve told me you had partners. I’d like to meet them.”

“Ah sorry, we aren't at the meeting the family who abandoned you stage. Come back in another year, or never.”

“We didn't abandon you.,” Clint says.

“Really? My bad, I guess I misinterpreted you all leaving with Steve and not contacting me at all for a year.”

“The phone works both ways, Tony. You could have called.” Sam says. 

“Oh, you were waiting for me to beg you to come home? I should have known.” Tony adds dryly. “Why are you all here now? Steve send you because he failed to seduce me?”

“Steve’s mission was never to seduce you. He was supposed to find who was watching you and let you know what happened.”

“Yeah well, he told me about Hydra. You can go.”

“We can’t go.” Natasha says. “You may hate us and not trust us, but there is more at stake than just you. So, if you don’t want to protect yourself, protect the world. The last time Hydra gathered like this they had plans to blow New York. We also found out, the tesseract was once in the hands of Hydra, it’s how Steve got it and ended up in the ocean.”

Tony’s attention is dawn at the mention of the tesseract. It’s still out there in the world. The last thing he wants is the world to once again be under attack by a random Alien army. Earth has enough wars of its own to deal with.

“You think Hydra has the Tesseract?”

“We don’t know, and that’s the problem. We don’t know anything. We need your help to figure it out. Personal feelings aside.”

“Fine, whatever, come in.” He walks past them and pushes the door open. Once they’ve all filed into the room, Tony. “Okay, what do you need?”

“There’s something Hydra wants from you.” Clint says. “Steve told us you think it’s weapons, but we aren’t sure that it.”

“From what we’ve seen firepower isn’t something they’re lacking in.” Sam adds. “They’ve got the people and the weapons. Not to mention they’ve got some enchanced people working for them now.”

“What kind of enhanced people?”

“Well, there’s a guy he can run at faster than you can see him.”

“And a girl who can mess with people’s minds and move things with this red power.”

“And there’s The Clone.” Bucky speaks finally. “She can look like anyone she wants so long as she touches something you’ve bled on.”

“What do you mean look like?”

“It’s why they call her The Clone,” Sam explains. “She can be a complete copy. Voice, blood, DNA.”

“Fingerprints?”

“Yeah.” Natasha nods. “That’s not all, she can even copy memories. It’s far beyond anything we’ve ever seen. At some point, you must have come into contact with her because Bucky said he saw her looking like you.”

Tony raises a hand to his neck. Hickeys have covered the healing needle wound but he knows where it was. “How much blood does it need to be?”

“It doesn’t need to be any. It could be something that’s been wiped clean, it would still work.” 

“My mom.” Tony whispers, and everyone in the room tenses, Bucky more than anyone else. “I saw my mom yesterday.” Tony continues. “I went outside…. And she was just there. At first, I thought maybe it was a dream, or I don’t know. But, she stabbed me with a needle. Injected me with something to knock me out.”

“Then that’s how she got to you.” Clint says.

Tony knew it was some Hydra trick, he’d figured that much. Having it confirmed only helped solidify his belief. Although the why is still unknown, there’s another question in his head.

“What could my mother have bled on that they have?” Tony looked up to them in question, but silence only followed. Everyone looks to the ground, guilt, and fear on their faces. Concern only blossoms in Tony with it. “You guys know something, what is it?”

“Me,” Bucky says, and the team looks at him, eyes wide, but they don’t dare say anything.

“You, what?” Tony asks.

“I’m what your mother bled on.” Bucky whispers, but Tony hears it loud and clear.

“How… when would my mother have bled on you?”

“Hydra wanted the replicated serum from Howard, so as the Winter Soldier, I was ordered to kill him.”

Tony shakes his head, suddenly it feels like there’s not enough air in the room, but he ignores it. “Howard died in a car crash, my mom died in a car crash.”

“No.” Bucky licks his lips and takes a deep breath. “I was sent to kill him on the way to the airport. Stage it to look like an accident and leave no witnesses.” 

_Save me, Bambino._

_I can’t breathe._

_It hurts._

Even knowing now this it wasn’t really his mother, he can’t imagine it as anything else. All he can think about is the coughing, and the struggling for air. All he can think about Is… is her being murdered. Painfully, calling out for help. Tony takes a step back, as a wave of anger so strong washes over him it makes his hands shake.

He looks Bucky in the eyes, glaring wishing that looks could kill, just for this one moment. “Get out.” His voice shakes as he says it, but he doesn’t care. Bucky nods, and without hesitation leaves.

“Tony-”

“Don’t.” He cuts her off. He needs a minute. He needs to process, he needs to breathe. He turns facing the window behind him and pulls it open, letting the air flow in, and he takes deep breaths.

_I can’t breathe._

_It hurts._

_Save me, Bambino_

He was over this. His parents had been dead a long time. He mourned, he accepted, he moved on. They were gone and it hurt, it always hurt a little bit. Sometimes getting reminded of them, it would bring him to tears. But this-this wasn’t a reminder, this was a knife to the gut. Ripping open old wounds. Leaving larger ones in its wake.

“Tony,” Natasha says, and Tony spins around.

“What!?” He snaps.

“If she came to you as Maria, then that must have been the true purpose of kidnapping Bucky. So, she could get to you that way. Meaning, she may have already gotten what she wanted from you. We don’t have time to… to wait for you to be okay.”

“You’re right.” Tony nods. He doesn’t have time to process. Or work out his anger in a healthy way. So, he’ll just have to do it the Tony Stark way.

With a bad decision.

“Jarvis, give me my suit.” He orders. Jarvis charges up on his phone, and the suit in his closet activates, dissembling itself, and each piece flying out breaking through the fake wall and assembling around him. Once fully assembled, the snaps the faceplate down.

“Run facial recognition for Maria Stark in every camera around the city.”

“Yes, Sir.” Jarvis scans begin and on the HUD, and he can see thousands of camera feeds sped up by Jarvis as he’s searching every face.

“Tony, what are you doing?” Natasha asks. Tony ignores her, when Jarvis drops all the feeds, for one, a single frame with The Clone entering a building.

“Get me a location, Jarvis.” He says. Jarvis gives him an address. It’s only about twenty minutes from his apartment building. Five by flight. “Let’s go.”

The thrusters fire up, and the suit lifts him, he directs himself out of the window uncaring as it breaks to fit him through. Natasha yells for him, but he ignores her again, leaving them all behind.

He was going to kill The Clone and anyone who got in his way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, finally got all that arguing and dialogue out of the way and next chapter is about the box and the past! I kept trying to find a way to get everything out in the open so we could get to the box and not have like three other major questions out in the open. So I feel like there's a bunch of back and forth, but it was a necessary evil.

The abandoned building was at the end of an old neighborhood. Graffiti littered the windowless buildings. From the state of the area, Tony was surprised there were surveillance cameras anywhere near here. In fact, there was just one. One single camera The Clone allowed herself to be seen on. Tony should have known it was a trap. Months of chasing her and Hydra and the team hasn’t caught her. Finding her in less than a minute of looking was something he should have thought about before flying in blind. 

Now he was in a pickle. The hot red anger that powered his adrenaline rush was no longer doing its job of keeping him going. He’d got to the base and entered without a plan.

Well, actually he had a plan.

Kill anything in sight.

It, however, wasn’t a good plan. Especially when one of the things he was supposed to kill moved faster than his eyes and suit could track. It was one of the enhanced hydra experiments the team had mentioned before. The fast one. Tony’s suit had been hit three times in the span of a second, sensors going crazy trying to track the quick movement. He was hit again from behind almost knocking him over when he began to shoot his repulsors out at random. Now he’s pressed to the wall by a strange force and it lifts him. His faceplate breaks, and cracks in on itself before snapping off the suit and clambering to the ground leaving his face exposed to the warm dry air of the abandoned building. His eyes land on a girl with glowing red eyes and a red energy wrapped around her hands. 

The other enhanced they were talking about. 

“Stark.” She spits out, accent thick with anger and almost disgust, the pressure on his chest, holding him to the wall grows heavier, and it feels like the suit is crushing him. He groans out in pain, trying to find some reprieve but he can’t move, not even an inch. 

“That’s enough! Don’t want to kill our guest, now do we?” A voice calls from out of his view. The girl smiles, but the redness in her eyes fade slightly, and she relaxes her shoulders, the pressure lifts instantly, and Tony feels like he can breathe again. “Play the video for him.” The voice comes again, and this time pain gone and the ability to breathe restored, he recognizes it. It’s his mother's voice- no it’s The Clone using his mother's voice. The enhanced one with speed rushes past Tony with a brush of wind that has him blinking his eyes in quick succession by the time another woosh comes back, and somethings being held in front of his face. His eyes adjust to a laptop screen that’s being held in front of his face and he watches as a video plays.

Wait… he knows that road.

“What is this?” He asks, eyes trained on that road because it’s familiar. So does the car that comes into view seconds later. His heart rate picks up, and no one answers his question, they don’t need to, the video does that for them. He watches a motorcycle zoom past, and the shine of the Winter Soldier's arm reaching out and destroying the tire. The car spins out of control and crashes into a tree. He watches the Winter Soldier step off the bike and rip open the trunk, seeming unconcerned as Howard tumbles out of the front seat crawling, probably asking for help, Tony doesn’t know, there’s no audio. Watching Barnes- The Winter Soldier, walk over and beat his father's face in, only to drag him right back into the car and stage it, made something break in Tony. Something that only got worse as he walked around the car to his mother and wrapped his hand around her throat. 

_ I can’t breathe. _

_ It hurts. _

He turns his head as much as he can and closes his eyes. “Turn it off.” His voice cracks as he speaks. “ _ Please. _ ” The glow from the laptop screen disappears from behind his eyelids, but he still can’t bring himself to open them.

“It hurts, doesn’t it? Hearing about it, and now seeing it. Finally cementing in your mind. They were murdered. Murdered by someone you once shared a home with. Someone you took time out to help. It hurts so much you almost expect there to be a physical wound because a mental hurt shouldn’t be this bad, should it?” The click of heels against the concrete floors, echo in the near empty room, growing closer. “Her death hurts more than his though. Doesn’t it? I saw that in your mind. Even when it was just a car crash, you mourned your mother more than your father. Why is that?”

“We were just closer.” He muttered, not even knowing why he answered. But it was true. Howard was distant, smarter, busier. He was who Tony was supposed to become one day. He would take Howard’s place in the world. But his mom… she was just his mom. Always there, always loving. He trusted her, he confided in her. They just had a stronger bond, and the hole in his heart was larger when it came to her than Howard. That’s just how it was.

“Look at me, Tony.” He doesn’t listen at first, wanting to keep his eyes shut, trying to block out the images of his parent’s dying But he manages to pull his eyes open. She smiles at him, brightly. Just as his mother had done when he showed her Dum-E for the first time. He misses showing her the updates, Howard didn’t show much interest in things that weren’t weapons, but Maria always asked, even if she didn’t quite understand the mechanics of how, she always seemed interested, and proud. He wonders what she would think of Jarvis or the Ironman suit. “What if this video never existed, or this never happened? What if you never lost your mom?”

“What are you talking about?” Tony sighs, here comes the ‘join us’ spiel.

Her eyes glow green and she steps closer. “I’m not enhanced like these two. I was born with this power, on a planet much different than this one. It’s there that I met a man, who knew things that no one else knew, like the dead not having to stay dead.”

“If you think I’m going to start working for Hydra based on some lie that I could save my mom then have seriously underestimated me.”

The Clone laughs. “No Tony, you are the one person in this world I refuse to underestimate. We will not be making that mistake again. What I offer you is no lie. Besides this isn't some attempt to bring you over to Hydra. You simply have something I want and I'm prepared to trade you for it.”

“And what would that be?”

“That’s the tricky part.” She turns, walking away from him over to a table in the corner and picking up something he can’t see. “You don’t remember where it is. But I’m sure since you got it in your mind to come find me, the others finally told you about me and Hydra. Which means you probably know that when I take someone’s form I can see their memories up until that moment in time. You know what I saw in yours? A big black hole of missing information and everything surrounding it is jumbled and misplaced. Meaning someone has tampered with your mind. Erasing a large portion of time. As far as I could tell, you’re missing about two years. But it could be more than that. It was done specifically so you wouldn’t notice it was missing either.”

Tony shakes his head. “You’re wrong. I would know if I was missing _ two years _ of my life.”

“Are you sure about that? I saw your memories. I know there’s been something nagging at the back of your mind. I know once in a while, you pause, because something just feels wrong. Something feels missing. I know, that when you were with Steve, while it hurt to find him cheating, you were relieved to be able to end the relationship because you never felt complete in it. Despite loving him, despite wanting him, it wasn’t enough, something was wrong there.”

“Just because you saw my memories doesn’t mean you get to psychoanalyze me.” He snaps. 

“You don’t think so? Because I think it makes me the most qualified to analyze your mind. Looking at your memories has given me a special peek into Tony Stark. I know how you think. I know your mannerisms, your preferences, and what you hate. Just like I know, that if you had any inclining that you were about to lose your memories, you’d find a way to have a tether to them. A way to get them back. Especially when the memories you were losing are so very important. What I hold behind my back right now is your tether.” 

Tony’s interest is peaked at that. 

“What is it?”

She smiles softly. “Imagine it, Tony. Once you look at it, the mental blackout in your memories will begin to shine, bring themselves to the surface. Just one look will shatter any doubts that you are missing time. It’s very important to you.”

Slowly with much anticipation, she brings her arm around…

Annnnd it’s a pen. 

Tony shakes his head. “What? This isn't…”

“No.” She noted “This is not your tether. But you knew that just by looking at it. Tell me, Tony, what were you expecting this to be?” 

Before he could answer, there was a loud bang, some ways down the hall on what Tony’s assuming is the door to the place, another bang comes right after. The three turn their heads toward it and the two enhanced look to The Clone for orders, she sighs. “It seems our time is up, Tony. You know your options. Remember, then bring me what I want. If you do, I will help you bring back your mother.” The sound of the door finally breaking open and knocking on the ground takes their attention. “Pietro, let’s go.” They’re gone in a blur of movement. Tony’s dropped, the red power holding him up now gone. A grunt is knocked out of him as he collides with the floor. 

“Tony!” That’s Steve’s voice. 

“Yeah, I- I’m in here.” He almost doesn't want to call out to him. Just take the suit and fly back to his apartment and think. There’s something he’s forgetting. Two years. How could two years have gone by and him not noticing them missing? Which two years were they? Steve runs into the room, suited up, shield high. “You can stand down, they’re gone.”

“Jesus Tony.” Steve drops down next to him. “Are you hurt?” 

“Nothing but my pride.” He lies. None of his wounds are physical, which means, he can ignore them until they go away, as usual. Starks are made of iron. 

“What were you thinking coming out here alone?” 

“Anger? Revenge?” Tony shrugs, pulling himself up. “There wasn’t so much thinking as feeling.” 

“...Bucky told you?”

“Bucky told me.” Tony repeats, then he takes a deep breath and stands. “I have to get home.” 

“Wait, you should slow down, take a breath, The teams all here, Natasha and Clint found another way in, Falcon’s up on the roof and Bucky-” Steve trails off when it comes to Bucky, and Tony thinks that's the smartest thing Steve’s done since he texted Tony yesterday morning. 

Tony walks out of the building, regretting life because without the faceplate he doesn’t have HUD, or Jarvis to guide him. Good thing he knows his way around the city by now. It takes a little longer getting to the apartment building than going there. It’s because he had to steer himself, and also make sure he wasn’t seen by anyone or caught on any cameras in the suit without his face covered.

He goes in the way he left through the broken window, and ignores the broken glass, for now, letting the suit fall from him clattering loudly, and now he feels free. 

Its a few moments later, there's a knock at the door. Stephen's voice comes through muffled.

“Tony? Are you back?”

“Yeah, come in.” He calls not bothering to walk over the door. Hopefully, it’s unlocked.  

“What happened to coming right back?” Stephen asked as the door pushes open, Loki following behind. They’re both dressed in the clothes they were wearing before he left, except for Loki’s shirt.

“I’m sorry. I just-” He rubs a hand over his face tiredly. “The trainwreck continues. I had to leave, and now...” He looks around the room. “There’s something I need to find.”

“Could we help?” Loki asks. 

“Yeah sure.” Tony shrugs, running his hands between the couch cushions. 

“What is it that we’re looking for?” 

_ What were you expecting this to be? _

“A key.” He whispered then cleared his throat, speaking up. “It’s a large key. Shaped weirdly, almost like those old skeleton keys. It’s wide and silver, and the top it’s got a wide decoration, curved like a clover.” The more Tony thinks about it, the more he can imagine it. 

“What's so important about this key?” Stephen asks, Tony shakes his head. 

“I’m not sure. Depends on if someone was lying or not. First thing first is to see if this key even exists.”

“Do you mean this key?” 

Tony looks up from his workstation to Loki who still hasn’t left the doorway, holding out a single large silver key in his hand. 

“Yeah! That's it! Where’d did you find it?” He steps up to Loki, eyeing it carefully. There’s no doubt about it in his mind, this is the key. Although there aren’t any memories he’s suddenly getting back at seeing it, this is what he was looking for.

“What does it go to?” Stephen asks, which covers the lack of Loki’s answer in the room. 

“I don’t know.” Tony says, taking the key in his hand, spinning it in his palm. “But I’m going to find out.”

_

“You really have to stop letting Tony runaway.” Clint grumbles, climbing off the motorcycle outside of Tony’s apartment building. Natasha had already stepped off, Steve and Sam just pulled up in the jeep, leaving Bucky back at the base, not wanting to force him back on Tony just yet. 

“What did you want me to do? Hold him down? I’m not exactly his biggest fan at the moment.”

“I’m just tired of all this running around, just to have a conversation with the guy.” Clint huffs. “Feels like chasing The Clone all over again.”

“Hush, you big baby.” Natasha rolls her eyes. “You’re lazy.” 

“How am I lazy? We went all the way there for nothing. The Clone was gone when we got inside, and Tony didn’t have so much as a paper cut. Now we have to come all the way back here to talk about a box.”

“A box that Hydra is after.” Steve says. “Not all missions are simple, not all battle can be won in a day. But maybe today we can figure out just what they’re after.”

_

“So, it’s scanning every lock in the world?” Loki asks, standing over Tony’s shoulder like he’s forgotten what personal space was, but Tony liked it, so it was okay.

“Every lock in view of a surveillance feed and documented online. But that might not give any results. This could be for anything, anywhere.”

“What could be for anything?” Steve asks, stepping through the still open door of Tony’s apartment, team filing in behind him. The three look up from his computer at the group. 

“I thought I made it clear I’m not interested in talking to you.” Tony turns back to his computer, hoping they leave. 

Steve hesitates at the sight of Loki and Stephen. “Uh, I know, but we need to.”

“These the partners?” Natasha asks. Steve gives a look conveying ‘not now’.

“Tony, just give us an hour.” 

“An hour?” Tony chuckles. “That seems so long. What more could you possibly have to say?” 

“An apology, and one other thing we need to ask you about… privately.” 

Tony spins around in his chair, biting his bottom lip in a barely restrained show of anger. “How about no?” He says. “How about they stay and we stop escorting the only two people I can stand to be around at the moment out of my apartment?”

“It’s alright, Tony, we can leave.” Stephen says, but Loki clearly disagrees from the look on his face. 

“Or not. It’s awfully clear who Tony wants to leave, and who he wishes to stay, and it is his apartment after all.”

Tony smiles, “Yeah, it  _ is _ my apartment. I almost forgot with how Steve keeps barging in and making demands. Especially when he knows he’s no longer welcome.” 

“Tony, this isn’t about the personal feelings involved, it’s about much more than that. We need to put our differences aside.” 

“Our differences?” He stands. “The only differences here is that I no longer want anything to do with you anymore, and you deciding what I want doesn’t matter.” 

“Tony, we’ve all had losses and tough times these last few years.”

“Oh really?” Tony laughs. “What tough times have you had? What was so horrible about having the entire team at your back? What loss was it for you to betray and abandon me? How was it not personal for you to come here, lying with every breath. Then the team comes with the worst news I’ve ever gotten, and you still want more from me. So excuse me if it doesn’t feel personal, and I can’t turn off my feeling and just be okay with everything.”

“You don’t have to be okay.” Steve says. “But we do need to talk.”

Tony sighs and looks to Loki and Stephen. 

“Let’s go.” Stephen says, standing and heading for the door. Loki looks mildly irritated as he stands, and follows after.

“We will be next door.” Loki says, leveling a small glare at the team as he leaves, not caring if they feel intimidated or not. It’s his own promise of things to come if they continue to get in the way and separate the three or upset Tony.  

“Okay, you got what you wanted. I think I’ll give you five minutes, my patience won’t last an hour.” Tony crosses his arms, looking to them all. 

“Fine let’s cut to the chase.” Natasha steps forward. “What’s in the box?”

“I’m sorry are we doing bad movie reenactments now? What box?”

“The one in your dresser Tony.” Steve says. “I found it yesterday.” 

Tony shakes his head. “A box in my dresser? The hell are you talking about?”

Clint rolls his eyes, pushing past Steve and Natasha, heading down the hall, into Tony’s room, and begins pulling the drawers out of the dresser until he sees the vibranium box, and he comes out holding it up. “This box.” He waves in the air.

“ _ That  _ is not mine.” Tony looks in confusion. 

“It was in your room.” Sam says. “ _ Hidden _ in your room.” 

“I didn’t put it there!” Tony hissed. “Now gimmie the damn thing.” He snatched the box from Clint’s hand as he reached. 

The box was surprisingly heavy for its size. The material cold and smooth, also very strong. 

“Is this vibranium?” He asks, more rhetorical than a real question. Vibranium is known for its lightness despite its strength. He’s held Steve’s shield, It’s light for the damage it can do. No wonder why he throws it so easily. But this… this was heavy. 

There are things that can break the vibranium. It’s no adamantium. Whoever made it, wanted this to be safe, doubling down on the necessary amount needed to make the box. Not only securing it but also making it harder to discern what's inside. His eyes land on the lock in the center, and his eyes go wide. 

“No way.” He whispers. Walking over to the desk he picks up the key, 

He’d never seen the box, and he has no idea how it ended up inside his dresser of all places. But the key… it, it looks like it’ll fit.

Maybe he just doesn’t remember seeing the box before.

He hesitates, moving slowly, pushing the key through the lock, and it slides in easy, stopping an inch in, and he turns it. There are four clicks of tumblers, dropping, some mechanism inside releasing and falling. The box clicks open, and there’s a slight hiss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I could have made this chapter longer, but I started watching a new TV Show, and working on my other fics, and I really didn't want to leave you all with a cliffhanger for too long. There will be more memories and stuff scattered in the next chapter, and we'll pick up right where we left off in the conversation. 
> 
> Also im going to be less stingey about spoilers now, so ask away!

A single black ebony wood inlay beveled ring.

That’s what sat atop a stack of photos, that were faced down into the box. Looks of something taken with one of those old cheap yellow temporary cameras you’d give kids for field trips. Diagonal yellow letters across the shiny white backs. While he wanted to reach for them, he focused on the ring.

_Imagine it, Tony. Once you look at it, the mental blackout in your memories will begin to shine, bring themselves to the surface. Just one look will shatter any doubts that you are missing time. It’s very important to you._

A wedding band. In his house hidden in his drawer, with a key that he remembered only minutes before.

_imagine it Tony._

_Something very important to you._

“What’s in it?” Clint asks, breaking the silence, snapping Tony back to the world. He closes the box, hiding it from peering eyes. This was his, this was his tether, a piece of his missing time. This wasn’t something he wanted to share. Not before he fully understood it.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “Jewelry, personal items. Nothing of interest to hydra.”

“Jewelry?” Sam asks, skepticism dripping from his voice. “You keep jewelry in a vibranium box?”

“Hidden behind the drawers of your dresser?” Clint asks.

“And fitted with a special lock that couldn’t be picked?” Natasha adds.

“One that you claimed you hadn’t ever seen before.” Steve puts the icing on the cake. Tony ticks his jaw.

“Your five minutes are up. Get out.”

“Tony, we aren’t doing this running around again. Hydra wants something from you, if you really want to have nothing to do with us, then just tell the truth and get this over with.”

“I already told you. Just some watches, cufflinks… rings.” Tony shrugs. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone to any events or had a need to pull out the million-dollar wrist pieces. This isn’t exactly the best neighborhood so I hid them… so well that I forgot they existed.” He puts on a smile.

“Then why won’t you let us see for ourselves?” Natasha asks.

“Aside from the fact that this is my home, and I owe you all of _nothing,_ and the fact that you knowing where this was means Steve did, in fact, snoop around my room.” Tony lists, “I don’t want you all drooling over my timepieces. Some of them are worth more than you all combined. So, listen to me, something you haven’t done since the moment you got back. But I am telling you, what Hydra want’s is not in this box. It’s mine, it’s personal, and your time is up. Get the hell out.”

The team looks amongst each other, silently assessing and questing, and it’s pissing Tony off.

“What the hell do you not understand? Get the hell out!”

They leave after that, seeing that he clearly isn’t in the mood, and not wanting to start a fight when Tony isn’t in the mental state to pull his punches. It’s better holding it back.

He sits down, opening the box once again, the ring slid to the top corner of the box and he reaches for it, feeling around its smooth face as the light from the broken window reflects off it, giving it a diamond glint of light.

Such a nice ring. A simple band, no diamonds, no flare. Nothing too loud, yet it has style. A style that Tony no doubt would demand for a piece of jewelry he was to wear for the rest of his life, or marriage as it were, no matter how long. Tony wouldn’t hold back. It was elegant, dark, could go with any outfit he needed for events and such.

He brings it up to his left-hand ring finger, just hovering over the tip, he knows if he slides it on…. If he slides it on and it fits. Then that will answer the question if this is, in fact, his ring. But that would only open a dam of other questions. He spins it, like a halo above his finger, scared, because if it fits, then he’s really missing two years, and what if- what if he’s better off without the memories? What if they are filled with more terrifying discoveries, lies, and tragedies hidden in his mind. 

It doesn’t matter, he can’t hide from the past, even if it scares him.

The ring slides on easy, fits perfectly just at the base, just where it bends and meets the palm. Although it doesn’t cut off the flow of blood, it feels constricting, heavy, and warm despite the cold untouched layer of first contact. Out of place, really is the word he’s looking for. Rings are not a normal accessory for Tony Stark, In fact, he can’t remember the last time he wore a ring. Maybe that's what’s gone from his memories too.

After a minute, feeling around, poking, spinning, and staring, it settles, normalizes, feels right. Fitting, perfect, it was where it belonged.

He had a wedding ring.

He was married.

Looking back at the box, the photos turned down, he carefully lifts them as if they’re expensive china dishes, only meant for a beautiful display. No one was there to see his hands shake or the light layer of sweat building in anticipation. He turns the stack over and when his eyes take in the photo his whole body runs cold, and his eyes roll back.

_

_“Tony, why must you insist on this silly trend?”_

_Tony can feel his entire torso shake and ripple with laughter. The day is hot, the air is thick, and humid, gnats all about, and the sky cloudless allowing the sun to beat down unbridled. His phone is warm in his hands, probably overheating, which was absurd because Stark phones don’t overheat, but damn it’s hot today._

_“I really wish Stephen didn’t teach you that! You use it way too much.” He leaned in lying on Loki’s chest, trying to cool off with the trickster’s ice-cold skin. “Taking photos,_  selfies _has been going on ever since the first camera was made. They’re meant to capture a moment.” He explains, Loki looking down at him, listening avidly as he always does when it comes to learning about the world and its customs as he calls them. “Time is… time is fleeting. Always moving, and we humans, don’t live as long as you gods. Every moment is precious to us, even when we waste it.” He pushes up, leaning in, looking into Loki’s eyes. “So please, don’t call it silly. You’re precious to me, and I want us, this right now, to be captured forever, even when I’m gone, even when I don’t remember.”_

_“Tony, you mustn't think that way, now is all we have, let's not think about that.”_

_“I want to.” Tony whispers, there’s a burn in the back of his eyes, and no he doesn’t want to cry in a park, during the middle of the day. “It’s all I think about. I don’t want to forget, I don’t want to lose this.”_

_Loki shakes his head, kissing Tony. “No, Love. You will never lose me, or Stephen. Even if your memory is gone, even if you leave this life to the beyond, you will never lose me. For my love is too strong. My cold heart beats for you, and even when it doesn’t, it still will. I promise you, it will._

_“Okay.”_

_

_“Would you just hold still?” Tony huffed as the shutter clicked only to give him next to a blurry figure, caught mid-movement._

_“I don’t have time for this.” Stephen shuffles to the side, pulling off his gloves. The tan ugly things._

_“You are literally the only person on the universe who isn’t allowed to say that, Mr. Time Stone.”_

_“I do not like it when you call me that.”_

_“Yeah yeah, whatever. Hold still, you can do your voodoo later.”_

_“It isn’t voodoo.”_

_“Doesn’t matter! Hold still, you keep coming out blurry!” Tony yells, pushing Stephen against the wall. “I will get one decent picture out of you right now, or I will throw glitter at you every time I see you meditating. The super tiny glitter that you will never be able to wash from your hair! I swear Stephen!”_

_Stephen rolls his eyes, and holds still, not smiling for the photo, but then again he rarely does, so Tony takes what he can get, holding his phone up and pressing a kiss to his cheek as the shutter sound clicks. “There, that wasn’t so bad was it?”_

_“Utter torture.” He draws dramatically._

_“You love it when I torture you.”_

_“No. But I do love you. Which makes it tolerable.”_

_“Ew, you’re being sweet, that's my thing.” Tony wrinkled his nose, laugh ruining his pretend grimace._

_“It really is.”_  

_

_“Okay, okay, say cheese!”_

_“Why on earth, do you keep asking me to say cheese? It makes no sense.”_

_Stephen chuckles, the cloak of levitation hovering gently behind him. “It makes it look as if your smiling. See look:_ cheese.”

“ _Ah.” Loki nods. “Seems pointless, why not just ask one to smile instead of risking confusion?”_

_“Remember what I said, about things seeming complicated, but aren’t because almost everyone here understands it?” Tony asks._

_“Yes, sayings, phrases, and jokes.” Loki rolls his eyes. “Humans are so complicated for such dull creatures.”_

_“Ouch.” Tony huffs, “Never been called dull before. It stings.”_

_“Obviously I did not mean you, Love.” Loki withdrawals. “Just that the differences between Midgard and Asgard are staggering. Humans seem to over complicate their words and appearances instead of furthering themselves. Instead, they make endless phrases to tricking one into smiling.”_

_“It’s not a trick.” Stephen adds, wrapping an arm around Loki’s shoulders, pulling him close. “Now do it, so we can get back to the movie.”_

_

_The flash was totally accidental. The light pouring in from the bathroom had been enough to see both of their faces. But he hadn’t checked before taking a picture, and now Stephen was waking up._

_“Tony. Go to sleep.”_

_“Sorry.” Tony whispers. He’d only just gotten back and ready for bed. Stephen and Loki had looked so peaceful, he couldn’t resist taking a picture. Setting the phone on the nightstand, he crawls over, to the middle, squeezing between the two, because that’s his spot. Even unconsciously, they leave that space for him. Loki’s arm wraps around him once he’s settled and he smiles into Stephen’s neck as he squeezes close._

_

_"It’s beautiful.” Tony whispers. A special view of the universe that it’s possible no one else would see or have ever seen. Maybe Heimdall, by what Loki had told of the man's all-seeing eye. But this, it’s truly amazing. Billions upon billions of stars, not discernable from planets at this view. Imagine a high definition google earth but actually the universe. Something three dimensional, as if he could reach out and get burned by one of those big bright stars that look like nothing more than flecks of burning dust on a glass table. “I could look at this every day.” He sighs contently. Leaning back into Stephen, his feet on Loki’s lap._

_“Not every day.” Loki murmured. “It’ll ruin it. Watching something perfect every day will normalize it. It will get less special every time you see it. Moderation is best, absence makes the heart grow fonder.”_

_Tony shakes his head. “I don’t want absence. I don’t want it to be special if it means I have to spend a single second away.”_

_“Tony,” Stephen whispers directly into his ear. “You’ve already hidden them. It’s too late to go back and change things…”_

_“I know.” Tony says. “But- but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”_

_“None of us like it, Love. Let us just cherish this one last night.” Loki says._

_“One last night.”_

_

He feels dazed, disoriented, drugged almost. The feeling doesn’t stop him from moving, leaving his apartment and going next door. Knocking softly on the wood, looking back down to the photos, he realizes he’s still wearing the ring. How it looks as if that's the one true proper place for it. When the door opens, and his eyes look up to Loki again, only seeing him just under an hour ago, yet now it felt as it’s the first time he’s seen the man in years because it has been.

“We know each other.” He whispers, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

“Yes. We do.” Loki smiles slowly. Humoring look on his face.

“No… no. we _know_ each other. We-” We married, we fell in love, we said goodbye. All thoughts flowing through his head, but he can’t hold onto a single phrase, a single word. The explanation hard to swallow much like a dry pill.

But it’s vivid, he’s starting to remember all of it, a particular conversation coming to mind.

“I asked you, to hold the key, and that if I ever came to you looking for one, to give it to me.” He whispered. “You promised to always stay close, and I knew you would.”

Stephen comes up to the door.

“I knew you both would.” Tony repeats.

“You remember?” Loki asks, hope clear in his eyes, and Tony nods.

“I’m starting to.”

“How?” Stephen asked, and Tony looked down at his hands, they both follow his gaze. When Stephen reaches forward for the pictures, Tony steps back quickly, feeling possessive of the photos. It’s all he had. Besides these flimsy chopped up memories, this was it. The only physical proof of the life he forgot. A marriage, love.

“It was you.” He says. “You’re the ones who made me forget.”

“Yes.” Loki answers.

“Why?’

“Because you asked us to.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Why would I ask you to erase my memories?” Tony shakes his head. He remembers them saying goodbye, spending last days together, he remembers preparing to forget. But the why doesn’t make sense.

“Telling you would defeat the purpose of you forgetting in the first place.” Stephen sighed.

“But I remember. I’m starting to remember.” He clutches the pictures so hard, they begin to bend under his fingers. There’s a dull pain that sets in his temples. Incoming memories and emotions tickle in, like a leak. Leaving him feeling unbalanced inside.

“We can fix that.” Stephen said. “We’ll redo the spell.”

“No!” Tony and Loki both yell in unison.

“Why don’t you want me to remember?” Tony asks. Stephen rolls his eyes and directs a glare in Loki’s direction before looking back at Tony.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t love to have you remember. This is more important than what I want-- than what Loki wants.”

“It’s been long enough.” Loki says, “No one is looking. No one knows. It’s time.”

“It’s never time! It needs to always be a secret, always hidden. Even from us, even from him.” Stephen steps forward, hand reaching for the photos, not yet taking them, but waiting. “Tony, you don’t remember, but you asked for this. You needed this. These memories, they are dangerous, in more ways than one. They will slowly drive you insane. It’s too much for one person to hold on their shoulders. That’s why it had to be you.”

“So, what? You want to make me forget? Keep me in the dark, alone. While you two live next door? I don’t want that.”

“You will.” He promises. “Once you remember, you’ll want it again.” He lets go of the photos, seeming done with even attempting to take them, and brushes past Loki into the apartment. A few seconds later they hear the bedroom door slam. Tony looks to Loki in concern and the trickster seems unbothered by it.

“When hurt or angry, he tends to push people away instead of lean into them. A little like you, only… his bite is far more painful.”

“Why does remembering hurt him?”

“He’s tried really hard to move past not having you here every day. It was hard to only see you in passing, and start relationships with others.” Loki looks down. “I suppose it’s hurting him to think he’ll lose you again this way.”

“How is he losing me again?”

“I suspect he had hopes we’d be together, even with your memory loss. But if we did the spell again, you’d have to forget these last few days as well.”

“I wouldn’t remember meeting you.”

“No.”

“You don’t want me to forget.”

“I disliked the plan the first time around but saw how it was necessary. Now… now time has passed. I think it would be just fine if you remembered.”

“Why does time passing matter? What did I forget?”

“It will come to you, just as these memories have. Do not force it, or they will overwhelm you. Stephen was not wrong when he said it’s a heavy burden for one to handle.”

Tony sighs. “I need to sit down… Do you want to come back to my apartment or do you want to go check on Stephen?”

“He will come to us when he is ready. He tends to push back when you push him.”

“Another thing we have in common?”

“Yes.” Loki smiles.

_

“You think Tony was lying?”

“I don’t know.” Steve sighs, dropping down on the beat up sofa in the corner of the warehouse. “There was something in the box he didn’t want us to see, but it might not have anything to do with hydra. It could truly be personal.”

“If that’s the case we’re back to square one.”

“We aren’t. Hydra’s here, in the city, and they want something from Tony. He doesn’t want to work with us, so I guess he’s going to have to work for us.”

“You want to use him as bait?”

“What other choice do we have? It’s not as if we’re setting him up for something. They’re after him, and he refuses to accept our help.”

“At what point did we offer him help?” Bucky asks. “All we did was barge into his apartment.”

“Before he kicked me out, I told he would need our help, and he was adamant that he didn’t.”

“Telling, and offering are two different things.”

“Tony’s a big boy,” Sam says. “He can read between the lines. He’s smart enough to know taking down hydra is more than a one-man job. We came back here for him, and he knows it. We don’t have to hold his hand and beg him to accept us. Things aren’t optimal for a team effort, but feelings and preferences are irrelevant.”

“So what? We wait for them to make their move and take our chance?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods. “It shouldn’t be long now that Tony’s made a move against them. I’m sure it will speed up their timeline for whatever they’re after.”

_

The Clone descends the long dark staircase to the sublevel three of the Hydra base. Not the little empty warehouse they led Tony to. This one was in full working order. Filled with agents. Some Hydra, and some hers. No one was allowed down here but her. The one agent that tried learned very quickly what curiosity truly does to the cat and death would have been a reprieve.

Green gemstones that lined the walls began to shine in her presence. Reflecting her power light across the space. One of the many reasons she loves the room. Walking to the far wall, she stops inches in front and bows down to her knees, face pointed to the floor.

“ _Zanayah._ ” Her name echoes through the room, by a deep powerful voice, despite its distance. She shivers vibrating in anticipation and excitement. “Stand.” He says, and she does.

The wall is made from glass, enchanted to see in and out of time, the pockets of space that the naked eye can’t see. She dares look and sees him, injured and weak in this state where he’s locked away, but feelings of pity do not come, for she knows what he is capable even when he is down. Even when he is thought to be defeated.

 _“What news do you bring?”_ He asks.

“I have made contact with Stark. He seems very motivated at learning the true nature of his parent’s deaths. I found his memories were tampered with, time missing from him. The years of your fall.” She supplied. “I alerted him to this gap, as he seemed to be unaware, I presume he right now is attempting to get these memories back as we speak.”

“ _What of the Trickster and his magical companion? They will try to stop this.”_

“They live in the building, but up until now, Stark has had no contact with them.”

 _“That will change.”_ He warns. “ _Do not let them take the memories again, should he succeed in remembering. He is the only one who can help in freeing me."_ He pauses a moment in thought. _“Perhaps a distraction. Something big with lots of death.”_

“Yes.” She drops back to her knees. “I will not fail you.” She vows.

_

 

“She wants us to what?” Pietro asks, dashing in front of Wanda before she can walk away from him.

“Cause some trouble. You do it all the time, shouldn’t be hard.”

“Cause trouble is not taking lives.”

“Look around you, Pietro. This is Hydra, we knew this before we got here, taking lives is what they do.”

“We wanted revenge on Stark. That is the only life we were supposed to be a part of taking!”

“This is to get to Stark, Pietro! Don’t you see? There are some fates worse than death. Whatever she has planned for him, she promised me he will suffer.”

“So long as we are her personal pets, and kill whoever she says. She’s not even Hydra. She walks in takes over with her powers, and make promises we don’t know she can keep. What does she even get out of helping us? What does she really want from Stark?”

“I don’t know. I can’t read her mind, you know that.”

“You don’t find that suspicious? She’s not human!”

“Neither are we.” She points out. “Not completely. Not anymore.”

“I will not hurt innocent people. That’s final.”

“Then I’ll do enough for the both of us.”

_

_”This is quite a lot of food. Is this a normal portion for humans?” Loki asks, face painted with amusement and confusion, taking the plate being offered from Tony across the bench, thinking about how it looks similar to an Asgardian feast._

_“No, it is most certainly not. Tony, don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” Stephen chuckled, picking at the food in front of him with hesitation._

_“What? No! We just saved the world, we deserve to gorge on carbs. Besides, Loki has never had carnival food. I had to get one of everything.” Tony laughs, licking sugar off his finger._

_“You got three of everything.”_

_“Well, there’s three of us, and we each get one of everything. Shuddup and eat.”_

_“I do not think it wise.” Loki laughed._

_“Oh please, god’s can't get heart attacks right? You should be fine. But Stephen and I will probably have to take a lot of ours home for later.” Tony chuckles down at the food in front of him._

_“Carnival food is not meant to last the night.” Stephen chuckles taking a bite of his funnel cake._

_Tony shrugs, “Well, at least there’s a doctor on call if I go into cardiac arrest.”_

_“Not a doctor anymore.”_

_“Once a doctor always a doctor.”_

_

“Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“You zoned out there for a minute, Love.” Loki says although he doesn’t look the least bit concerned, despite the softness of his voice giving that impression. Tony gets the sense that he’s being babied. As if he’s something fragile. As much as he dislikes the idea, he can’t help but feel fragile. His head… he keeps losing himself to these memories. Only getting them bits at a time, and he can’t yet put them in order. How long is this going to happen? It’s two years worth of memories. Will all of them come like this? That doesn’t sound good, maybe Stephen was right, it being too much for someone. That doesn’t stop him from wanting this though. He’s determined to see it through to the end.

“Did we know each other for the entire two years I have missing?”

Loki shakes his head. “In a way yes, but no. Your memories are complicated. They’re split. Using the Time Stone Stephen caught a glimpse of the things you saw, but neither of us truly know what you did. When they are all back, things will begin to make sense, I assure you.”

“What’s a Time Stone? I remember…. I remember saying something to Stephen about a Time stone but I don’t know what that is.”

“You will.”

“I'm tired of hearing the 'you wills', and you saying that things will make sense eventually. I want to know now. How did we first meet? When did we fall in love? Why- why did I need to forget? What happened?”

Loki hesitated, thinking it over Tony assumes. It’s hard for him, it must have been. To live so close but not being about to touch.

“We first met, the day I came here to earth. I intended to take over the planet, have it as my own. But you came to me before I’d begun my plan. You knew everything, where I’d be, what’d I’d take. Who I worked for. I’d managed to escape Heimdall's eye, but not yours. You baffled me, and also freed me.”

“Freed you?”

“I was sent, under the guise of being offered the world. I was told to retrieve something for someone who surely would have killed me the moment I served my purpose.”

“The Tesseract?”

“Yes.”

Tony’s mind went back to that day, the day the sky opened and aliens spilled out. It stopped suddenly, the aliens had come, destroyed, but then it closed, no one knew how. Yet… that's not how he only remembers it. There’s something else, a memory, just beneath his eyes, slipping into the frame of sight. He remembers fighting Loki, he remembers meeting Thor. He remembers offering his enemy a drink. Which- yeah, sounds like something he’d do.

“You’re the one, who attacked new york… stole it and- and brought them all? How- why doesn’t anyone remember that? Not just me but- but everyone. Thor… Thor thinks you’re dead.”

“As I said, your memories are split. Things that happened, and things that happened to you.”

“To me?”

“Yes. I told you, that I first met you when you came to me. All knowing, saving me. However, that not how you met me.”

“I met you when the Avengers were trying to stop you.” Tony can see the overlapping memories like glass. If you focus you see your reflection, or you could see straight through to the other side. “I remember it two different ways.”

“Saving me, and stopping me.”

“What happened when I saved you? What did- the world, it was still attacked, the tesseract disappeared.”

“No. It didn’t. We kept it. You and I. You insisted, that certain things needed to happen, where others didn’t.”

“We opened and closed the portal.” Tony realizes. “We let the Chitauri through.”  

There’s a large explosion outside that draws their attention before Loki can confirm or deny the statement. Although Tony doesn’t need him to, as he’s starting to remember it for himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can all thank Monte(My new puppy) for this chapter not being posted two days ago like I planned and was mostly ready for, because he decided that chewing on my fingers was better than the six toys I got for him, and walking on my keyboard to get to my lap, deleting half of the story multiple times.

“Wanda, you can’t do this!” Pietro yells as he follows her out of the Hydra base, and down the street, she keeps walking barely paying him any mind.

“I can, Brother, and I will.” She calls over her shoulder, he speeds ahead stopping in front of her.

“This is not who we are.” He calls. “We became this out of our hate for Stark. He took away our parent’s when we were innocent. Do not become that monster for someone else.”

She stops, and looks him in the eye, for a moment he thinks she really might understand. But the moment is over in a second when her eyes glow red and she uses her power to shove him up into the air and over to the wall of the building next to them. “I’m sorry Pietro. I’m no longer that innocent little girl praying not to die. I’m stronger now, part of something bigger. I will do whatever is necessary to make sure Stark pays for what he’s done.”

“This isn’t necessary!” He yells, she shakes her head.

“You stay innocent if you want to Pietro. Be innocent enough for the both of us. Just not right now. I’m sorry.” She whispers, before using her power to pick a block of wood of the ground hitting it over his head. “I can’t have you stopping me.”

_

Loki makes it over to the broken window in time to see a car fly as if it’d been tossed across the street, crashing into the neighboring building, causing lots of damage. He can see a number of people gather and run. Some foolishly nosy and watching far too closely, and others running for safety. Another car is lifted, and his eye catches the source, a woman, she’s got a red energy surrounding her.

“What is it?” Tony asks, stepping up next to him. His eyes go wide. “Oh god. What’s she doing?”

“It would seem she doesn’t like the way some people parked.”

Tony snorts despite the situation. “I think she’s trying to get my attention.” He turns looking at the suit scattered on the floor. The faceplate is broken. He doesn’t have enough time to fix it. Despite her already knowing his identity, there are people out there. If he went he’d be exposed. But people could get hurt if he doesn’t. So today just might be the day the world figures out what he does when he’s not at parties or in the endless board meetings.

“Don’t even think about it,” Loki says as if he’s reading his mind. “You are in no state to fight.”

“Oh please. I’ve fought while drunk, drugged, and half starved. A little woozy is nothing. That’s like normal for me.”

“This is not simply woozy, Tony. You lose yourself while in your memories. Just in this last hour you went still and unfocused three times. I’m not sure I could snap you out of it if I tired. If that were to happen in a fight… you must stay here. I will handle it.”

“She’s enhanced. The team told me she can mess with people’s minds.” Tony warned.

Loki smirked. “She’s an amateur. I’ve been practicing magic longer than she has been alive. I’ll be fine. Promise me you will stay here.”

Tony sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay put.”

“Swear it.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Where’s the trust?”

“I know you, Tony. Swear it.”

“I swear. Now go before people start dying.”

_

“Something's going on outside of Tony’s building,” Sam says, looking down at his laptop. Scrolling and sifting through reports and alerts his notifications collect in the corner of his screen.

“What?” Steve asks, he’d just sat down to polish off the shield where it had burn marks from taking the brunt of bullets while taking down bases during their search for Bucky.

“Already? It’s been less than an hour.” Clint said from the corner where he was sharpening his arrows.

“Well, Steve said their timeline would move up, I guess it moved up to now.” 

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks.

“Lots of police reports are being logged. Something about a woman throwing cars around.” Sam supplies.

“Sound like someone we know?”

“Maximoff?” Natasha asks. “What’s throwing cars going to achieve?”

“Depends on where she’s throwing them.” Bucky grunts. “We going to handle this?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods. “Suit up, let's head out.” Everyone moves to grab their things.

_

Stephen doesn’t get up when he hears the first crash or even the second explosion. He doesn’t care enough to see a car crash on the street. But when the third comes he realizes this isn’t some random traffic accident. He stands, pulling the blinds up, and gets a view of the street. A red Volvo pushed halfway into the buildings second floor across the street is the first thing to grab his attention, the second is Loki in the street, looking at some strange girl. He rolls his eyes, leaving the apartment and heading over to Tony’s.

“What the hell is Loki doing?” he asks.

Tony shrugs. “He said he’d handle it, but he’s just talking to her. I can’t hear what he’s saying.”

“He’s monologuing. He does it often when he thinks he has the advantage in a fight. He’s too cocky. I’m going to go out and check on him. You should stay here—”

“I know, stay put, not safe to fight, he made me swear, just go.” Tony waves his hand, and Stephen watches out the window.

Stephen nods heading out of the apartment and calls the cloak to himself as he makes his way out of the building. Loki is still standing as he was when he looked out from the window. He can hear Loki talking, but it's more whispering, fast-paced muttering. It’s too hard to hear over the sound of crackling screeches of the car that was launched into the building. The sound of bricks and glass falling and crashing against the pavement loudly. There’s a small wave of dark smoke rising from the building, and he’s worried about fire. Yet he can’t concentrate on any one thing. He needs to get to Loki so they could conquer and divide.  

Wanda stands still, smiling mischievously. Black daggers lie in front of her where she stands a few meters away. Loki must have thrown them, but they stopped short of their target and landed at her feet. Stephen is cautious in his steps toward the trickster. “Now isn’t really the time for chatting, Loki.” He calls out. Trying to read the situation. It’s too calm. This woman went from throwing cars to just standing there. Why, and why wasn’t Loki moving?

Her smile only curves further. “He’s not talking to me.”

Loki turns around slowly. Facing Stephen just in time for him to see a red haze over his eyes disappear. His next move is so quick and unexpected Stephen doesn’t even prepare to defend himself. The only thing that saves him is the cloak yanking him out of the way. Causing Loki’s daggers to narrowly miss him.

“Loki!?”He calls out, startled as much as he’s angered by the action. “What are you doing?” He yells, his question doesn’t seem to phase Loki the slightest. Almost like he can’t hear him. But he can see him, his aim is good enough. “Loki.” He says more calmly this time. Stepping to the side carefully. 

Loki draws more daggers at the same slow pace. Calculating. 

“It’s me,” Stephen says. “Whatever she’s done, get her out of your head.” Loki only glares, and attacks again.

_

Tony keeps his promise as he watches down at the fight. He’s confused at the turn of events, but he couldn’t concentrate enough to begin to worry while watching Stephen does his best to block Loki’s attacks and call out for the man to stop. 

He’s not sure what help he’d be anyway. Hurting Loki clearly isn’t an option, maybe something to knock him out. It’d be hard to do that, with how fast the trickster is, and how he is clearly trying to make mortal wounds. Wanda’s just standing there soaking it up as if she has no true purpose other than wanting to watch things fall apart. Despite not wanting to admit it, he’s happy to see the team arrive ready to help a short while later. Wanda’s smirk falters when he sees them, and she begins being an active part of destruction once again. Tony can’t help the light giggle that erupts when Steve gets tossed like a rag doll by her light. 

Natasha uses the moment Wanda's attention falters to run up from behind for some close-up combat.

The way she fights, the powerful red glow of energy she has. Something in it triggers a memory. A strong one that has him weak-kneed, leaning against the wall. 

Once again he remembers something two ways. An afternoon, with the team, they’d spontaneously decided that they wanted Avenger themed donuts, and they searched New York bakeries for one. It was a great day, one Tony would always look back on and smile. This other memory, however, was one of fighting. He’d met Wanda and her brother Pietro that way. He feels this now, recognition. 

_ One where you saved me, the other where you stopped me. _

Just like with Loki, he can remember meeting them a time they hadn’t met. But they had. This feels deeper than missing memories, this is two separate sets of memories. Two lives. As Loki said, at some point his memories branch off in two directions. 

There’s a wave of pain in his head trying to connect the dots as another memory pushes to the front of his mind. The pain distracting him is why he didn’t notice the front door being pulled open. He does notice the feeling of being shoved against the far wall. Even if his attacker wasn’t so fast, Tony wouldn’t have been quick enough to stop the attacks, he’s still out of it. Memory images layering over his eyes, blocking the present here in front of him. 

“Pietro stop.” He says, and the speedster does surprisingly.

“You know my name? You’ve done your research, maybe? What technologies has your company made to find me?” 

“I no-” Tony shakes his head, using his palm to balance himself against the wall. “You- you died, you helped us, but then you died.” 

Pietro shakes his head. “What nonsense are you spouting? Why are you leaning like that? Are you sick?”

“No.” Tony sighs, trying to clear his mind, struggling to make a single sentence. “It’s just my head.” He breathes out. This feels like one of his migraines. He gets them once a day, he’s always attributed it to his lack of sleep or decent meals. This feels like that, only one hundred times worse. 

Pietro looks him over for a moment, then turns seeing the fight occurring on the street. He catches sight of Natasha getting hit with Wanda’s power and she stills trapped in her own nightmare. An arrow from a building above is shot and hits Wanda in the back of the leg, tip piercing through the front of her thigh. She calls out in pain and drops to her knees. Red energy shoots out from her in a circle knocking everything not bolted to the ground down. Pietro resists the urge to run down to her, turning back to Tony. 

His face is pinched, and the hesitation and fear. Tony doesn’t know what Pietro has to fear here though. 

“My sister.” Pietro started. “She was not always like this… Hydra’s pet.” He spits the name, disgust with the organization clear. “They prayed on the hurt, and the young. They experimented on us, and others. Many died. Wanda always said the anger that burned through us kept us alive and strong.” Pietro shakes his head, tears burning his eyes now. “But Hydra doesn’t make people strong, it makes them evil. I can’t let her be evil.”

Tony wasn’t prepared to be shoved against the wall painfully a second time. The back of the bookshelf digs into his shoulder, and he can’t hold back the hiss of pain that tears from him. But that's all nothing compared to the fear that fills him when he feels Pietro's hand on his chest. Not the fake layer, but past it, to the skin. To the arc reactor. He gasps with the realization, Throwing his hand up, latching on Pietro's wrist.

“What- no, no.” Tony stammers out with panic. He feels short of breath, and the world it’s fuzzing around the edges with memories, painful memories, 

“My sister’s hate and evilness was born the day our parents died. The day your missile fell into our home. Our hate started with you. So, I’m hoping it will die with you.” Pietro has the nerve to look apologetic. “I'm sorry,” he whispers. After that he moves too fast for Tony to stop, his grip is pulled off with the force of speed, and the arc reactor clicks and screeches with how fast it’s pulled from his chest. The moment it’s out Tony can feel the pain of movement begin. Tiny bits of shrapnel moving and tearing tissue inside. At first, it’s so small it feels like tiny bits and bursts of itches. But the feeling turns to heat and the more they move the bigger the itch. He gasps as one particularly close to his lung makes a big stab inside, clutching his chest as if he could physically stop them from tearing his insides apart. 

Pietro steps back, arc reactor in hand, and Tony’s heart breaks as he slams it down and the front glass plate shatters, blue light dimming into darkness. He collapses to the floor, the strength in his legs giving out and pain inside weakening him with his fast-paced heartbeats. 

“I’m sorry,” Pietro whispers again. Then he’s gone in a blink, the door hits the wall loudly with the force of wind passing by. 

Tony struggles to cough as he feels a heaviness in his lungs. He knows, even without a medical degree he just knows blood is filling up in his lung. A burning hot tear rolls down his cheek and despite the pain that's the feeling that registers the most. The warmth of a tear being cooled rapidly by the air. His body begins to jerk, spasms of pain has his body divided in diverting its attention, all of his nerves flaring with pain. A cold sweat dampens him all over. Each second feels like it’s own eternity of pain, and Tony's trying to hold on. He just needs to hold on and live a little longer, keep breathing a little longer.

_

Bucky’s just setting up his rifle when he catches the blur of light that he’s come to know as Pietro speeding out of Tony’s apartment building. He goes up to the other Maximoff and stops. He says something to her, something that makes her pause in her attack. 

Bucky would have used this moment to take the shot but something’s wrong. He can feel it. Pietro didn’t come out with anything, and the only reason he might have went into the building had to be Tony related.

_ Oh god, Tony. _

He drops everything, not caring at the sound of his gun hitting the concrete heavily, and bolts down the stairs of the building he was perched on top of. He didn't stop to get anyone else's attention. Not that it would have worked, Falcon was off helping people evacuate the buildings in the area, Natasa was still stuck in her head after whatever Wanda’s magic had shown her. Steve’s side was badly injured. One of Loki’s daggers had found its way there and was deeply embedded. Instead of taking it out, and giving himself some medical attention, Steve kept fighting, trying to help Stephen take him down. He has no idea where Clint ended up. But his arrows are littered around the area as I was here notes.

The staircase feels like it has more stairs than when he last saw it. This impending sense of panic, and fear that he’s taking too long. Too long for what, he doesn’t know.

Tony’s apartment door is open when he finally gets down the hall. Gasping for breath. Tony lies in perfect view body jerking with hiccuping gasps. He drops down to the ground next to Tony, looking for a wound, as he takes in the entire sight, there’s a hole in Tony’s chest. It’s wide and has a metal rim circling it. He’d heard about the arc reactor from Steve and the team. They rarely talk about it. Just like the rest don’t like to talk about their own pasts or weaknesses. The circle of light in the iron man suit was always thought to just be a part of the suit to those who don’t know his identity. But knowing and seeing are two different things. 

He looks hollow this way and it's scary. Steve once told him how Tony constantly feared someone would try to take it from him again, which is why he was so distant and slow to trust new people in his life. 

Tony’s lips are painted with a hint of blood, and he keeps coughing. He grabs at Bucky’s shirt, pulling him close as if he was the only thing connecting him to the world. Bucky leaned into the grip, hands hovering over Tony’s body, unsure. 

“What should I do? What do you need?” He knows he should be calm, freaking out isn't going to help anyone. But this is bad, it looks really bad. Tony’s skin is pale, and he’s sweating. He hates the thought, but besides his movements and coughing, Tony already looks dead. 

Looking to his right, Tony reaches an arm out for the shattered arc reactor, his hands fall just short of it, but Bucky leans over and grabs it handing it to him. But Tony doesn't take it. He places his hand over Bucky’s and squeezes, pushing some of the sharp jagged pieces into the flesh palm of Bucky’s hand. Despite the pain, Bucky doesn't wince, and he doesn’t pull away as Tony levels him with a serious pleading look

“K-keep it safe.” He manages between a row of coughs, squeezing the hand harder to reinforce the order. 

“Okay.” Bucky nods. “I will. But- what do I do? How do I help?” 

Everything in Tony relaxes at that. The fight leaving his body. He doesn’t need to wait anymore. He can’t. His time is up, he gets to stop suffering. 

“Tony?” Bucky asks as Tony sags into the floor, body going completely limp. “Tony?” He calls again, placing a finger to his pulse point and feels nothing. “No, no, no” He tries mashing the arc reactor back into Tony’s chest but it doesn’t fit, dented out of place, corners sharp instead of round. “Don’t die, please, don’t die.” He resorts to shaking Tony, in his desperate attempts. 

Nothing works, Tony’s limp in his arms. 

Tony’s dead in his arms. 

“Oh god. Steve.” He calls weakly. “Steve help me.” He can’t bring himself to yell loud enough. Despite death being a part of Bucky’s life for the last seventy years, but being around it still affects him, especially where Tony is concerned. Even though they’ve only spent a short time around each other, and didn’t have much of a bond as they did with the others, Bucky feels like he owes a lot to Tony, because of his parents. Even under Hydra’s control and the reassurances, the team has given him that it wasn’t his fault he still feels in debt. He, at the very least, owed Tony the pleasure of not being the last face he saw before he died. 

He lets go of Tony’s body and sits back. 

“Someone help me.” He exhales.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear not! This story will have a happy ending I swear with Tony alive, so don't unsubscribe!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel meh about this chapter. I feel like i could have made people be more dramatic and sad, but also like, it's the longest chapter I've done so far in this work, and I like the beginning. So i'd rate this a five out of ten. 
> 
> Enjoy this mediocre chapter. 
> 
> ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

_It was dark out, and the wind blew a chilling breeze. Tony shivered rubbing his hands together. Although the cold was fine, anxiety was the thing giving him chills. He constantly checked his watch. His memory was excellent, ever since he was a child he was able to recall almost anything he set his mind to remember. This was it, this was the time and place the trickster god was due to arrive on earth the first time around._

_True to his memory, there was a loud crash in the back of the building, a shine of green light the common glimmer of Loki’s power. The god stepped through, looking pale, and walking with a bit of a limp. Tony doesn’t remember it being so prominent the first time around, but then he filters the fact that Loki thinks he’s alone. Not bothering to mask the pain or weakness._

_Tony just goes for it, not really having planned this exact moment, but he’s good with running his mouth in the face of danger._

_“You’re right on time.” He says, announcing his presence, Loki instantly stiffens. Standing straighter, holding up his pride and power. All signs of pain gone from his form besides the sweat and pale of his skin. “I’ve been standing here for twenty minutes waiting for you.” Tony shakes his head, crossing his arms casually. “Although I suppose that’s my fault, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and the thought of missing you was not an option.”_

_“You were waiting for me?” Loki asks. He doesn’t seem worried, it’s more hesitant curiosity._

_“Well, I’m not standing in the middle of nowhere for my health.” Tony chuckles, but then he allows himself to be more serious. “I’m standing here for yours.”_

_“My health? Who are you?”_

_Tony smiles. “Wow, I think that's the first time in a while I was asked that genuinely instead of condescendingly. Anyway, I’m Tony Stark. But more importantly, I’m someone who’s trying to save your life.”_

_“My life? Do you know who I am?” Loki asks, and yep, there’s that cockiness Tony remembers from the first time around._

_“Of course I do, Loki Odinson, Trickster god slash frost giant, and currently Thanos’ errand boy.”_

_Loki’s cockiness fades into a dark anger. “You know of Thanos, do you work for him? Has he sent you to watch over me? Because I am quite capable of my task, I do not require a babysitter.”_

_“God no, I don’t work for him. He tried to kill me, and he will kill you. I’m trying to change things. Which means trying to save you before you became one of the good guys but I think the self-preservation in you might actually make this easier. So, I’m going to cut to the chase because we are short on time and not a lot of room for error. Thanos sent you here for the Tesseract, I’m sure you don’t know why, other than it’s powerful, and you think it’s fair trade to rule earth once he’s done with his grand plan, that however is not the case, considering he’s planning to kill you as soon as you hand it to him. Although I think some part of that you already suspected but you ignore because you feel you don’t have much of a choice otherwise.”_

_“What makes you think I don’t have choices?”_

_“Well, Thor thinks you’re dead, and you brought the frost giants to Asguard and caused a whole lot of damage while betraying everyone and stealing the throne. I bet you feel like you can’t turn to them for help, even if you did get past the pride and ego. But I’m here to offer another option.”_

_“And what would that be?”_

_“Continue as usual. Except without the flair. Don’t shine for all of earth to see. Work in the shadows, get the Tesseract, open the portal, let the army through, then close it. Keep the tesseract as far away from Thanos as physically possible.”_

_“So, he could kill me for my betrayal? That’s not a very good option.”_

_“Not if we use it to get to him first.”_

_“And what is your quarrel with Thanos?”_

_“He killed someone very important to me. I intend to make him pay. You in?”_

_“I suppose. You should know, if things go awry I will not hesitate to leave you behind.”_

_“I wouldn’t be surprised.”_

_

_“Hello!” Tony smiles, turning quickly, hiding the mess of the broken globe he dropped and only slightly cracked behind him. Loki has his arms crossed, looking utterly unimpressed, a face he seems to make whenever the two aren’t alone. Oddly it makes Tony a bit proud, He gets the funny, snarky, unguarded Loki, who actually has interests in learning and listening and this version, who does everything in his power to assert his dominance, and disinterest whenever others are involved._

_Stephen paused in his ascent up the stairs. Looking to the two intruders, watching them cautiously._

_“How did you get in here?” They didn’t come through the door, that’s for sure. It’s spelled to keep people from just wondering in._

_“A blue box allowed us to teleport inside. It’s pretty nifty.” Tony says, pulling it from his bag, showing it. The blue glow bright painting his face. Stephens interest is peaked, he makes it up the rest of the stairs, eyeing the tesseract with sharp fascination. “It kind of matches the color of your eyes.” Tony smiles. Loki clears his throat loudly, rolling his eyes with purpose. Tony chuckles. “But we aren’t here for your eyes-- Well, at least not your blue ones. We’re after something green. Trying to collect the rainbow.” He jokes._

_Stephen steps back, using his magic to make golden shields on both hands. The sound of it is like static as it starts and it glows brightly like fire in the dimly lit room. Loki stands forward, no longer casually leaning against the table, seeming bored, he now stood just a few inches in front of Tony, seeming ready to make his own attack if things escalated._

_“Okay, this could go very bad quickly. No need to be all defensive. We aren’t going to try and take it from you.” Tony says. “We’re hoping that you’ll hand it over, and also help us in getting the rest.”_

_“Rest of what?”_

_“Oh please, you have an Infinity stone hanging around your neck twenty-four seven. Playing dumb is not going to work. We’re collecting them. All six, and we could use your help.”_

_“Why are you collecting them? No mortal can possibly hope to contain the power of all six. It will kill you.”_

_“We don’t want to use them.” Loki says._

_“We want to hide them.” Tony finishes._

_

 

_“Are we ever going to talk about this?”_

_“Talk about what? Gas prices? It's gone up two more dollars per gallon, everywhere. What’s the world coming to?”_

_“You’re a billionaire.” Stephen retorted._

_“I'm a millionaire. T’Challa is a billionaire. It’s okay, I forgive you, people get it wrong all the time.” Tony shrugs._

_“Who’s T’Challa?”_

_“The king of Wakanda. How do you not know that?”_

_Stephen shakes his head. “No, we're off track. I have been meaning to ask what's going on between you and Loki.”_

_“Me and Loki? I don't know. Partnership? Friendship? Mutual want for the world not to end? How does one define this?”_

_“I meant are you two together?”_

_“I mean he’s out getting burgers. You know that though. You saw him leave.”_

_“No as in are you sleeping together or starting the beginnings of flirtation.”_

_“No, why?  Did Loki ask you to ask me?”_

_“No, I'm asking for me.”_

_“Oh, you want to be with Loki.”_

_“My god Tony you're thick.” Stephen sighs, exasperated._

_“Only below the belt.” Tony winks. Stephen was rendered speechless for several moments much to Tony's delight. “I'm kidding. Sorry.” Tony finally gives in, laughing. “I-- the thing with Loki is… new. It doesn't have a name, nothing happened.  There's been no direct flirtation or anything. I hate saying it but, it's complicated. A month ago he was making plans to take over the earth and now we are making plans to travel the universe to save it. The two of you didn't know me, despite me knowing you.”_

_“It must be complicated to have another life in your head.”_

_“It's not another life. At least not yet. I remember experiencing things that haven't happened yet. Or won't ever happen because of what we change… I keep having to catch and remind myself certain things didn't happen. Certain people I haven't met. Not truly. Not yet.” he looks distant for a moment lost in thought of reorganizing his memories before looking back up. “Loki is nice. The thing with him is nice. Whatever it might be or might turn into. He’s funny, and surprisingly a great listener. He's a little flirtatious but he's like that with you too sometimes so I don't know if he's like that with everyone or he's simply trying to decide between the two of us.”_

_“And what if I'm trying to decide if I want you?”_

_Tony pauses. “Then that might really complicate things.”_

-

 

_“Okay I get that you're the Asgardian trickster or whatever but why do you always push him?” Tony usually regards these conversations with a bit of levity because sometimes it is funny to see one of them get knocked on their asses after sparring. If it could even be called sparring since its just really throwing a bunch of magic at each other. This time and the last three times Loki has taken it just this side of too far and Tony was starting to wonder if Loki was trying to murder Stephen._

_“That is the point of what we are doing is it not? Practicing so we may best our foes that much easier.”_

_“Yeah practice. If I didn't know better I would think you saw him as an enemy you want to take care of.”_

_“And if I did?”_

_Tony sighs into his hands. “Then I would ask why. Because this here is a team. We have one goal.  One simple goal. There's no reason for any of us to fight.”_

_“He touched what is mine.”_

_“And that would be?”_

_“You.” Loki puts simply. “I saw the kiss you shared.”_

_“So that's what this is about. Some petty love triangle?” Tony's frustrated, he's tired from the multiple nights of sleep he missed trying to locate the space stone. He can't deal with_  this _too. “This isn't high school, you can't get mad and pull people's hair and start fights because you saw me holding hands with someone. We are literally trying to find the most powerful stones in the entire universe so that purple fucking titan doesn't kill you, Stephen and half the universe. Stephen kissed me once, on the cheek a week ago. Nothing else happened. And even if it did so what? You can't just lay claim to people, not tell them your feelings yet still hold them responsible when you get hurt.”_

_“I thought I made my feelings abundantly clear.”_

_“Really, when?”_

_“The second week I knew you I told you that I felt the stars had words written for us.”_

_“... What?” Tony shakes his head. He vaguely remembers him saying something along those lines. “Please don’t tell me that was some Asgardian version of declaring love.”_

_“It is.” Loki nods, and Tony blinks._

_“That- but- you- why- no.” Tony stammers. “That was right after we closed the portal though. We barely knew each other.”_

_“You seemed to know me quite well. With all your knowledge of what was to come, and it was quite entertaining to watch you fly around, destroying the Chitauri with the team, pretending to be surprised, and acting as one of them.” Loki steps forward. “Love does not wait for convenience, it does not make things easy, and it sometimes comes fast as it does hard. Two months we’ve been working together, and the feeling has not gone away.”_

_“But why?” Tony asks. His head starts to hurt, and he rubs the heel of his palm along the back of his neck trying to massage some of the growing aches._

_“Why not?”_

_“If I made a list we’d be here all day and most of tomorrow.”_

_“I’ve got the time.” Loki smiles._

_“The universe doesn’t.”_

_

 

_“You know… when I told you to kiss and make up, I wasn’t expecting you to kiss and make up.”  Tony reflected, stopping in the doorway, he feels like he should have been more surprised that everything led to this, but things don’t surprise him much these days. Finding Stephen and Loki practically inhaling each other in a compromising position on the couch in the New York Sanctum was just another average surprise in the life of Tony Stark._

_“What can I say, it was a rather good idea,” Loki smirks, leaning back into Stephen, nipping along his jaw._

_“I often have those.” Tony smiles, kicking his shoes off, “You can hump each other until your lower parts fall off, But right now, we’ve got a red stone to locate.”_

_“Or you could join us.” Stephen drawls, his lips red from the kisses and bites._

_Tony shakes his head. “I’m not about to jump into that cesspool. Besides, one taste and you’d be addicted to me, we need to focus! Reality Stone! Up and at ‘em, Chop chop!” He claps his hands, walking down the steps to the basement of the sanctum where they’re currently stashing the stones they do have. He bites back his smile and he flicks on the lights. What the hell was going on between the three of them_? 

_

 

“Loki?” Stephen asks, bending over the trickster who was hit directly in the head by the full force of Steve’s shield. He was standing over his shoulder mentioning something about it helping with mind control. It didn’t matter, if Loki was hurt he would drop Steve in the furthest ocean and see if he can swim his way back.

Loki blinks his eyes open sluggishly. They may have to do with the hit or the receding traces of Wanda’s magic. The rest of the team makes their way over, circling them. Question and concern written on their faces. Natasha’s the first one to speak.

“They left, do we go after them?”

Steve looks around. “After damage control. Find out if anyone was hurt, and maybe figure out why they attacked like this. They aren’t usually so bold.”

“Their timeline moved up. You said so yourself.” Clint points out.

“Yeah, but what in their plan benefits from random chaos? Unless they’re planning on letting the world know they’re back.”

“Go public, get more recruits, strike fear into the hearts of everyone. Everyone paranoid has its perks.”

“They thrive on fear. It makes sense.”

“So outing themselves, and preparing for what? Something bigger?”

“One can only assume so,” Steve says, picking his shield off the ground. “We’ll do a double check make sure they didn’t leave any surprises and then go after them. Clint, you’re on casualties. Sam overhead take a look, Natasha, find Bucky would ya?”

They all nod and go their own ways, Steve turns back to Stephen and Loki.

“So, you’re Doctor Strange? I’ve been trying to figure out who you were ever since what you did in Hong Kong.”

“Not exactly a mystery.” Stephen says, “it is my actual name, and title.”

“Sometimes hiding in plain sight is the best disguise.”

“Or you’re just not as good at looking as you think you are.”

“Does Tony know? About you and Loki?”

“Yeah, actually, he does.”

“Figures Tony would keep it a secret.” Steve shakes his head. Loki slowly becomes more conscious, more in control of his body, and coughs a few times, before sitting up fully trying to remember everything that’s just happened. Stephen hovers there, hand reached out to help him if needed. Knowing full well he doesn’t need to check Loki’s pulse. With the Frost Giant DNA running through his veins he’s probably already mostly healed from the head wound and any other cuts and bruises. It’s the magic that’s got him worried. Loki might not even be fully freed of it just yet. But Stephen is close enough now to push out any traces of it if necessary.

“It wasn’t Tony’s secret to tell. You seem to know that notion with how you hid the Winter Soldiers secrets for him.”

“You don’t understand.” Steve says, puffing his chest out, feeling defensive. Stephen smirked, standing once he’s confident Loki could handle himself.

“I don’t understand what?” Stephen asks. “How you knew Hydra was after Tony, but somehow you didn’t think it important enough to be the first thing you said to him when you saw him. Or how it wasn’t the second or even the third thing you said. In fact, all of the things you told him at first were lies. You did more than keep the secret, you protected it, and covered it. Yet you feel defensive because Tony didn’t tell you something that didn’t affect you in any way other than sheer curiosity?”

“Look, I know from the outside, or hell, even the inside I seem like the bad guy here, but that’s not true.”

“The bad guy? So, what? You think you’re the hero? Tony’s hero? Tony doesn’t need a hero! He is one! What he needs? Is a friend, is a team, People in his life that he can trust not to turn his back on him. He deserves a partner who won’t cheat on him!”

“I made a mistake!” Steve yells. “I made one mistake.” He speaks calmer this time. “I love Tony, I loved him then, I love him now. But with Bucky it’s complicated. He’s everything I have of my past. That’s what you won’t understand. I look like the villain here, but I was torn between two strong emotions. I just got him back, someone I thought I’d never see again. I love Tony, but I also love Bucky, I loved Bucky first, and I never truly moved on. How could I? I may have lost him seventy years ago, but to me, it was three years. I woke up to the future and a war. I didn’t have time to come to terms, I was shoved into a battle, and then I had this team and it helped me cope, but, but I wasn’t over Bucky. Getting him back, all being together, things happened, and it was a mistake, I never wanted to hurt Tony like that, neither did Bucky. I have regretted it every day for the last year, and the team? They may have left with me, but they didn’t excuse me. They gave me shit every day for almost six months before we got busy with Hydra. So, I don’t need you dragging me back down in for a pity party.”

“Boo hoo. Someone actually held you accountable for your actions. Do you want a medal? While you were off, with your team, even if they dragged you in the mud, like you should have been, Tony was still here alone! You don’t get to just forgive yourself and expect everyone else to. You don’t get to assume time passing makes everything better. You don’t get to decide that Tony has to help you! You had him in every way! You had him to hold at night, and to watch your back on the field. You had his love and friendship. You shared a home with him. You had it all, you had Tony Stark and you turned around deciding something else was better. Your mistake wasn’t just cheating, it wasn’t a lapse in judgment, and a moment of confusion. You walked away from something I would kill for, and I can’t ever see myself getting along or understanding a man who doesn’t know what’s right in front of him. Because if you truly loved Tony Stark, it wouldn’t matter who the hell came back from the dead. You wouldn’t jeopardize that.”

_

 

Natasha found Bucky’s gun and equipment partially set up on the rooftop, worry festered at the idea of why he might have suddenly stopped. Wherever Wanda went Pietro followed. It’s possible Hydra wanted to finish what they started with him before. There are no signs of a struggle, but if Pietro was involved he very well could have whisked him away before he knew what was happening. She dropped down to one knee, a position Bucky would have been in to put his sniper rifle together on the ledge. She envisions the scene. Looking down at a broken piece along the hilt of the gun, it was dropped straight down, as if let go on purpose. If Pietro had snatched him completely unaware the gun would have been tossed from his hand or dropped at least somewhere along the run, but the way it dropped, Bucky would have had to let go before he was whisked away -- if he was whisked away. 

She looked up, over the ledge, trying to see what would have been visible to him. Unfortunately, that didn’t narrow anything down, considering he could have seen everything. It was a great vantage point, the reason he chose it in fact. She thinks, what would have made him drop everything and leave? If he left willingly? Maybe seeing Steve get knocked aside, or even her getting hit by Wanda’s mind magic?

But if he was coming down to help, then he would have brought his gun. He knows better than to run into the fight without his weapon, even though his arm is practically a weapon in and of itself. No, this was something else. Bucky dropped his gun because he wanted speed. Something he either wasn’t anticipating a fight for, or he didn’t think ahead enough to take his weapon. Something important enough he didn’t worry about his own wellbeing beforehand.

She pursed her lips eyes narrowing. What did he see that caused him to worry so much, so he had to drop everything and run?

Being the Winter Solider for so long, he’s picked up on intuition and trusting his senses. Natasha’s seen it in action quite a lot. His sudden notice if someone’s watching him, hairs on his neck raising just knowing if someone’s going to approach him from behind. Sensing incoming attacks, moments before they hit. It’s as if he can smell danger, and his reaction times are astounding. If he felt something, he no doubt would have acted immediately.

So, besides the fight going on in the middle of the street, he must have sensed something else, something important, something dangerous. She looked around, something not obvious. What wasn’t at the fight that the Maximoff’s would have wanted?

Tony.

Looking directly across the street Tony’s apartment building sits, she can even locate the broken window in his apartment from where she sits. If this was an attempt on Tony, Bucky could have seen it, could have ran to help. She stands, heading down the fire escape on the building, and crosses the street going up to Tony’s apartment.

She prepared herself to see signs of a struggle, to find Tony and Bucky missing, both taken by hydra. After all, the two main survivors of the team are Tony and Bucky, both been on the edge of death multiple times. Next in line would be Steve, having technically been dead for seventy years. She comforts herself with that knowledge on missions or whenever she’s in doubt. They’re all survivors, that’s why they’ve made it so far, why they became a team. They are strong, they live.

Walking in to find Tony dead really threw her for a loop.

Bucky looked up at her, tears trapped in the line of his eyes that refused to run over, despite being so clearly distraught. “Help him.” He pleads weakly. “Y-you have to help him.” He leans over Tony, looking at the lifeless body eyes still open pointed off in the distance. She walks over slowly, falling to her knees with a dull thud, the room is so quiet, the apartment building is silenced. Most likely everyone evacuated when Wanda started attacking. Nothing but silence left in the air. 

She reached out and touched Tony’s shoulder, almost checking if it was real. That this wasn’t a trick of Wanda’s magic still tormenting her mind. She’s touched her fair share of dead bodies, moving, disposing of, stripping for weapons in a moment of need. Even just to confirm a kill. But she never imagined she’d be touching Tony’s body.

He always seemed the most protected, covered in a suit of armor. She should have known better. He had a huge weakness right in the center of his chest, and it looks like someone finally got to it.

“He’s dead.” She says, Bucky already knows he’s sitting here with the body, has been for who knows how long. Except, he’s still asking someone to help. To fix him. Natasha can do a lot, but she can’t raise the dead. 

Bucky shakes his head. “No- he can’t die. Don’t—don’t just let him die. We have to… we have to fix it.” She removes her hand from Tony’s shoulder and places it on Bucky’s.

“You can’t fix it.” She whispers, her voice wavers, just slightly, and her eyes red from the burn of oncoming tears.

Bucky’s hand tightens around the arc reactor, it’s sharp broken bits dig into his palm tearing flesh, but the pain only made him squeeze even harder. Not caring about the feeling of blood as it drips down. Dropping against his pants.

“What do we do?”

She pinches the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, giving herself a moment to breathe. Calm herself down. Save this for private processing and grieving later. Right now, there’s so much going on, she needs to keep a clear head.

“We have to tell Steve… and someone needs to call Pepper and Rhody.”

_

Stephen and Loki stand a foot or two from Steve and they seem at odds with each other. Which isn't surprising considering they were arguing ten minutes ago. Natasha pauses. Looking between the three, the words feel hard. Too heavy to push up to the surface.

“You find Bucky?” Steve asks breaking the unknown layer of ice he hadn't realized she had up. Protecting the world from seeing how broken inside she was.

“Something happened… It's Tony…”

Stephen and Loki look over at the sound of Tony's name.

“What about Tony?” Loki asks.

“He um… I’m sorry, he's dead.” She didn’t know how to say it any other way than just saying it.

“What?” Stephen asks, but Loki's already moving. Feet direction and walking where his mind hasn't even consciously decided to go. Whereas Stephen was shocked still by the words.

When Loki makes it to the apartment and sees Tony lying dead there on the floor, Bucky sitting over him, rage consumes him the glimmer of magic permanently hiding his Jotunn form dissipates. Blue skin and red eyes visible to the world.

“What have you done?” Loki hissed, his skin began to prickle with ice, cold form collecting moisture from the air freezing them, and small spikes cover his arms, he balls his hand into a fist and they grow larger there.

Bucky’s eyes go wide at the sight, and he stands, understanding what it looks like. Tony dead and he’s holding the man’s arc reactor. “It- it wasn’t me. Pietro, I saw him leave, and I came in and—and he was dying.”

“Then bring him to me.” Loki threatens. “Or I will skin you alive in his place.” When Bucky doesn’t move, Loki throws some of the spikes in Bucky’s direction. “Get out!” He yells as they narrowly miss him, but the point is made. Bucky dodges them and then leaves.

Stephen doesn’t bother running up the stairs, he simply makes a portal and steps through to the living room. The sight of Loki holding Tony as best he can with the body hanging lifelessly from his arms breaks his heart. He can’t bring himself to walk those three steps over there. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, every part of his body stuck, not wanting to move, not wanting to live the moment. Not wanting to touch.

Loki looked up, eyes and face stained with tears that freeze as they drop down he cheek. “You have to bring him back. Please, please bring him back.” He begged hiccupping gasping breaths. That gets Stephen to cross the distance and drop down in front of the two.

“I can’t…” His voice is barely above a whisper, apology drenched in the softness. “I don’t have the Time Stone, Tony hid it.”

“Then find it!” Loki barked, Jotunn form once again breaking through the glimmer. Tony’s body begins to freeze where he touched it. An audible crackle could be heard, and he snatched his hands away. Stephen caught Tony’s body before it fell completely back to the floor. He smoothed some of Tony’s hair down, just like he used to do before when they woke up in the mornings and it was all over the place.

“I wouldn’t know where to begin.” He whispers, biting back his own tears.


	12. Chapter 12

_Laughs could be heard all down the hall, echoing in the quiet of night. Tony knows that must have been what drew Stephen from his bed. He was lazily wiping at his eyes when he turned the corner into the dimly lit kitchen, the smell of chocolate and sugar filled the room and hit him full force as he stepped in._

_“What are you two giggling about at three in the morning?” Stephen sniffs, taking in the smell, and looks over at two as they lean over the island, a steaming pan between them, confusion and curiosity growing. “...Are you eating chocolate with a fork?”_

_“Yes and no,” Tony mumbled, licking his fork. “There is chocolate in this, but it isn’t_  just _chocolate.”_

_Loki smiles. “It’s s'more brownies.” He informs, taking another forkful from the pan._

_“S'more brownies?” Stephen asks, stepping over looking at the concoction in the pan. It smelled nice but looked like candy land exploded. “What’s in this?”_

_“Well, it’s fudge brownie mix.” Tony starts. “With chocolate chips, marshmallows, m &m’s, peanut butter, and graham crackers all mixed up and baked.” He sticks his fork in, taking a large piece and waving it over towards Stephen’s face. “Want some?”_

_“I prefer to be diabetes free.” Stephen declines. “How can you stand to eat it? It has to be too much chocolate.”_

_“No such thing.” Tony declares, “Isn’t that right, frostbite?”_

_“I must say, I’m not quite seeing a downside to this dish.” Loki shrugs. “It’s delicious.”_

_“It’s all fun and games until you get cavities and have to stick yourself with a needle every day.” Stephen warns._

_“First of all, he’s a god.” Tony rolls his eyes. “He can’t get diabetes, and if he gets a cavity he can get a filling like everyone else, it’s not the end of the world. Go be a buzzkill somewhere else. This is the fun zone.”_

_“You don’t live here Tony, you can’t declare places the ‘fun zone.’” Stephen says, curling his fingers for the air quotes._

_“I will buy this building and kick you out, Gandalf, don’t challenge the fun zone.” Tony warns, pointing his fork at Stephen threateningly._

_“The sanctum is not for sale.”_

_“Everything’s for sale. You just have to find the right price.” Tony hums, taking another bite._

_“There is no price.”_

_“Keep telling yourself that, Merlin.”_

_Stephen just rolls his eyes and pulls up a stool. “Why were you two so giggly anyway? Sugar rush?”_

_“Loki was telling me stories about him being an absolute terror in his younger years. You should hear some of the pranks he pulled, we would have either been best friends, or mortal enemies.”_

_“Enemies to lovers, isn’t that what you call it?” Loki asks._

_“I don’t know about the lover’s part.” Tony mumbles, keeping his eyes down at the pan. He got that way whenever either of them tried to be direct with their wants and flirtations Tony pulled away, whether he did it jokingly, or simply ignored the advances, he always skirted passed it._

_“Why not lovers? You don’t find Loki attractive?” Stephen questioned._

_“Of course, I find him attractive. Have you not seen him?”_

_“So, it’s his personality then?”_

_“There’s nothing wrong with his personality.”_

_“So, what is it then? What’s holding you back?”_

_Tony sighs, looking down at the countertop. Pouting slightly, mood slowly ruined. He knows Stephen just wants to be with him, Loki too. They aren’t exactly subtle with their brazen attempts and blatant advances._

_There are just things he can’t say yet, things he can’t bring himself to tell them. He didn’t want to get attached. He didn't want them to get attached to him. Not when he knows it’s going to have to end one day. He sighs, masking the wicked idea he gets._

_“I told you not to buzz the fun zone.” Before either of them realizes it’s happening. Tony digs his hand into the pan, taking a fistful of brownie and mashes it in the dead center of Stephen’s face. Loki’s mouth goes wide as he drops his fork, watching the scene in shock. Exhilaration runs through Tony when he realizes what he’s just done. He has good enough survival instincts, to bolt up from the stool and run out of the room._

_Loki’s shock curves into pure astonishment. Stephen stands from the table, following Tony at a slower pace. Loki grabs the pan from the counter, along with his fork and follows, watching the chase._

_Tony ran like a bat out of hell, he’s already out of sight when they get to the hallway, but the sounds of his laugh and footsteps give away his location. Stephen opens a portal in the hall that opens to the library where Tony’s echoing laughs are coming from and steps right through, leaving Loki to follow the long way._

_Loki can hear a heavy thud and increased laughing between cries and pleas. He quickened his pace and gets to the room in time to see Stephen and Tony rolling along the carpeted floor, wrestling to be on top. Stephen wins, pinning Tony down, and Tony’s laugh masks the low undercurrent of fear running through him._

_“I’m sorry?” Tony tires, smiling innocently._

_“You will be.” Stephen smiles, then surges forward, rubbing his face all over Tony’s smearing pieces of chocolate, and bits of peanut butter between them. Tony never stops laughing, not even as he pushes weakly at Stephen's chest and turns his face trying to escape the assault._

_“Okay, okay!” He giggles, “You got me!” Stephen looks down at him, pride curving a smile on his face. He hums, satisfied at the traces of chocolate covering almost an entire side of Tony’s face, and it’s in his hair._

_They look at each other, Tony still smiling, and Stephen can’t help but wonder how the hell Tony can still look so damn amazing disheveled and covered in bits of food._

_“You’re beautiful.” Stephen breathes out, and something in Tony’s eyes softens._

_“You know how to make a guy feel manly.” Tony whispers._

_“You don’t need me to.” Stephen matches his quiet voice, then leans down, kissing him. Tony’s eyes flutter closed, and he kisses back._

_Loki stands over them, still eating the brownies from the pan. “You know. If all I had to do was call you beautiful to get a kiss, I would have done it ages ago.”_

_Tony laughs and turns away from the two of them._

_“I hate you both.” He lies._

_

_"This is weird.” Tony says because it is. He’s been known to have an overnight guest or two, then there was Pepper for a while before they split up. He’s no stranger to having someone in his bed for the night. But two? And they hadn’t even slept together- yet- not for the lack of Loki and Stephen trying. But Tony insisted they wait, until what he didn’t say, just wait. That however apparently gave them blanket consent for just about everything else._

_He tossed and turned what little he could, on the edge of the bed. He sighed multiple times. Trying to get past the perpetual fear of falling over. It was a large bed, and they all three fits, but it just didn't feel right. He’s used to sleeping in the middle, with lots of blankets and pillows. Silk, expensive blankets, and pillows. He makes a mental note to order some new sheets if he’s going to be sleeping over here at the sanctum._

_“It wouldn’t be if you just went to sleep.”_

_“Well, I can’t sleep, and it’s weird. Maybe I should just go back to the compound, save myself the trouble of flying over at the crack of dawn.” He grumbles, actually considering it. This was beginning to become a hassle. Hunting down the infinity stones, while being Tony Stark and juggling Ironman. Steve can sense Tony’s hiding something and he’s being more and more vocal about Tony’s distance from the team. They all decided to share the same floor, but Tony maintained keeping his own. It was after all his own tower. If he wants a floor to himself he can have one dammit. It’s not like he didn’t offer them all their own floors. Apparently being rich and having space is a crime to Steve, which really shouldn’t bother Tony as much as it does. Why should Cap’s opinion matter? They barely know each other. Or at least, Steve barely knows him._

_Tony remembers years of knowing each other, battles, arguments, parties, and sparring. He remembers quick conversations. He remembers them all going their own separate ways but kept contact until they broke apart over the accords. He’s doing his best to keep the timeline the same, not to jostle the future so much so that he can’t predict what happens and so that they don’t end up more on Thanos’ radar than they already are with how they disappeared with the Mind stone and Space stone. Now having the Time stone and Reality stone, they’ve only got two more stones to go before they’ve got them all. Then they move onto phase two._

_“Loki and I can squeeze, give you more space.” Stephen says, clearly not wanting Tony to leave yet. Tony doesn’t even want to leave, but he knows he should. He knows they shouldn’t kiss and get close, he shouldn’t entertain this, shouldn't allow the feeling to grow stronger._

_But he wants to. He wants to sleep here, he wants kisses in the halls, he wants jokes and staying up all night talking. He remembers the team from these new memories. The good times they had and the bad times. Almost forming a family. Only in these other memories, they never were able to get that close, never able to pass that barrier. Everyone too guarded, too distant. Never honest, never trusting, and eventually, it all bubbled to the surface and spilled over._

_Even with things changing, everyone’s closer instead of running away first chance they got. He feels it, remembers it not working, like a stain on his memory, ruining the innocence of this new beginning. Because for them this is the first time, they get to be optimistic, because they don’t see how it ended, how it could end. This is an Avengers team that has yet to know that true loss or betrayal of one another._

_But here, with Stephen and Loki… they know, they feel it. They’ve lived and lost, they understand that one cannot always be so optimistic. They don’t have unrealistic expectations for themselves or for Tony. They know nothing is perfect and can accept what is offered. They make the best of what they have, and that is all Tony could ask for. It’s all Tony ever wanted. Someone he could be honest with, someone who not only won’t judge but understand. Someone who wants him for him and not what he has or what he could do, and now he’s got two of them, wanting him, aching for him, and he has to push them away._

_The cruelty of life. To see everything you’ve ever wanted and having it just at the tip of your fingers and knowing it’s all going to have to end._

_“I already have space, it’s not the space… it’s just me being dumb.” He sighs. “I usually sleep in the middle and usually when it’s just two people in the bed, you can kind of cuddle in the center. But- it doesn’t matter.”_

_Loki turns in the bed, and sits up, propped on his elbow. “Would you like to trade places with me?”_

_“No, I-”_

_“Why not? You would then be in the middle and things would no longer be weird.”_

_Tony freezes, that would be a solution. But then he’d be between them. A figurative and literal position he has been avoiding these past few months. “I- I have to leave really early and getting up from between you would wake you both up. It’s easier to just stay here.”_

_“Well, waking us up won’t be an issue if we never sleep because of your constant moving.” Loki points out._

_“Besides, I’d rather get the chance to say goodbye to you in the morning anyway.” Stephen shrugs._

_Tony tries to think of another excuse but comes up empty. Whether that's because he really does like the idea of sleeping in the middle, or his brain has suddenly decided to stop working, he doesn’t know._

_“Okay fine.” He whispers. Hoping slightly that they don’t hear him. Loki pushes the rest of the way up, and then leans over Tony, smile visible even in the dark of the room._

_“You smile like the Cheshire cat, ya know.”_

_“The what?” Loki asks as Tony scoots to the middle._

_“It’s a cat, with this big smile. It’s from a movie, I’ll show you sometime soon.” Tony says, pulling the blanket up as best he can with them on both sides. It’s actually kind of a sweet deal to sleep in the middle. There’s a little less freedom and space to move, but you're not grabbing onto the edge of the blanket for warmth._

_It’s only about ten minutes later he realizes it’s a double-edged sword to not have to fight for the blanket. It’s warm, verging on hot, and he can’t just push the blanket away like he wants, or he’d be pulling it away from one or both of them, and he sighs again._

_Stephen turns glaring at him. “What is it now?”_

_“It’s hot.” Tony grumbles. Knowing that this is a hassle, and seems like it’s more trouble than it’s worth._

_“Is it now, Goldilocks.”_

_Tony ignores him, turning to Loki. “Hey snowflake, give me your hands.” Loki reaches one hand over, but Tony doesn’t need both. He lays the palm on his forehead and sighs contently. He knows that Loki is a frost giant and all, but it still amazes him how Loki is always cold. It comes in handy. “Just stay like that forever.” He relaxes._

_“I can’t sleep with my arm pulled out this way.” Loki laughs._

_“Just ‘till I fall asleep then.”_

_Loki smiles fondly before moving, turning his whole body to face Tony’s and pulling him in close. With both of their clothes on the cool barely got through, but it was there, and comforting. “Better?” Loki asks._

_“Much.” Tony nods, pushing his face into Loki’s nack, reveling in the coolness, and relaxing listening to Loki’s heart pumping next to his ear, lulling him to sleep finally._

_

_“I don’t understand why you keep pulling away! What we have is good.” Stephen maintained, the same old argument budding up and this time it looks like Stephen isn’t satisfied with Tony’s half answers, and silent no’s._

_“We have nothing!” Tony insisted, ready to pull his hair out, he’s so tired of this back and forth, tired of the arguments, and the pressure on all sides. He feels like he’s being pulled in a million directions, soon enough he’s going to break. A headache pounds in his head, but he ignores it, he always ignores them._

_“Nothing? Really? We do everything but have sex, that's nothing in your book?” Stephen shakes his head. “We’ve been dancing around this for months. We take two steps forward you take one step back. You have memories of the future, we have a plan, I get that things aren’t easy. But- god, you tell us almost everything, but you won’t tell us this. You won’t say why not.”_

_“This isn’t… part of the plan. Relationships aren’t part of the plan, not for me. I need to stay focused. I need to see this through.” That's the only thing that’s held him together this long. That one single goal. Torment by memories of what failure looks like, his drive has never been stronger, yet his will is wavering. His body and mind weak._

_“Why can’t you do both?”_

_Tony takes a deep breath, maybe it’s time to tell everything. “You know phase one?” He asks._

_“Get the stones.” Stephen nods, crossing his arms, looking almost bored._

_“And phase two?”_

_“Deal with Thanos.”_

_“And then phase three.”_

_“You hide them.”_

_“Then phase four.”_

_Stephen pauses, eyebrows furrowing. “There isn’t a phase four.”_

_“There is,” Tony whispers. “I uh- didn’t tell you about it because I didn’t want you two to change the plan. Especially not after you started wanting to be more…”_

_“What is it?” Stephen says, concern in his voice._

_“To forget,” Tony says. “Everything. The Stones, Thanos… you, Loki.”_

_“Forget? Why on earth do you want to forget?”_

_“You don’t understand, it’s not that I want to, it’s that I_  have _to.”_

_“Have to? Why?”_

_“It’s the memories. They’re messing with my head. I can’t keep them. When this is all over I need to forget them, and also the location of the Infinity Stones. That way no one anywhere, will ever know where they are.”_

_“Tony, you don’t have to forget. I know sometimes you get confused but you’ll sort through them, and the stones… just never tell anyone, and when you get old and die, the secret will die with you.”_

_“You don't get it.” Tony smiles sadly. “This- it would be different if I lived it, and then came back. As you go about your day to day, your brain catalogs your thoughts, senses, everything you experience, your memory. Your brain catalogs it perfectly right where everything belongs. Think of your mind like an ocean, and a steady stream drops water into continuously, and one day, a flood of polluted water drowns in. My head is contaminated by these memories, and my brain cells are the fish choking on plastic, dying, suffering, stuck immobile. Meaning they will drive me insane if they don’t kill me.”_

_“Okay, so we will get rid of your memories of the future, but why not keep the ones of us, Loki and I?”_

_“I’m worried it won’t be enough to just get rid of them, knowing that there are missing pieces- if I remember even a little bit of it, it’ll drive me insane not to know. Besides, the Infinity Stones… they are way more important than any of us. You know this, Loki knows this. It’s why we are doing this in the first place. Erasing my memory of where I hid them is just the right move. I can’t be tortured or tricked into finding them if I don’t know. If I don’t even remember that they exist.”_

_“And you’re plan is to what? Erase Loki’s and my memories too?”_

_“No.” Tony shakes his head. “You may know that they are hidden, or even that I hid them, but that means jack squat if you don’t know where, and if leading someone to me won’t gain them anything anyway.”_

_“So this was the plan from the beginning?” Stephen asks. “That's why you wanted to work in the shadows. Why you insist on going back to the tower every morning and sneaking out in the dead of night. Fight with the team, and pretend everything is normal there because soon enough it will be your normal. You’ll just leave me and Loki behind, and live your life as an Avenger.” His words start turning harsh, like an accusation, Tony almost flinches at the bite to them._

_“It’s what I am.” He whispers._

_“And what are we!?” Stephen yells, and this time Tony does flinch. “The backup?” Stephen says, not backing down. “The people to do all the dirty work in the shadows and then you throw us away when we’ve served our purpose? Do you even care about us? Or do you give us lingering touches and flutter your eyelashes to keep us motivated?”_

_“I told you from the start I didn’t want a relationship. It was you who kept pushing! I told you what was needed and you agreed to help. I was open, I told the truth.”_

_“Everything except how this was supposed to just end one day. How you wouldn’t even remember us when all was said and done.”_

_Tony shrugs helplessly. “I tried to keep a distance, I tried to keep you from liking me. I didn’t know how to tell you, and honestly just because this is the plan doesn’t mean I wanted it this way. At least- at least you’ll have Loki.”_

_“It’s a shame I don’t only love Loki.”_

_

_“The two of you are still not speaking,” Loki says Tony should be surprised or at the very least startled. Sitting on the roof of the tower, he came here to be alone. Yet this isn’t the first time he and Loki have sat and looked up at the stars. He didn’t even blink at the sound of the Trickster’s voice. He just kept looking down at the skyline, the sun going down slowly, turning the sky all sorts of colors. Loki hadn’t phrased it a question, so he didn’t answer. He only acknowledged him when Loki sat down next to him, looking out to the skyline as well._

_“He told me.” Loki starts again. “About your memory, and phase four.”_

_“Are you mad too?” Tony asks, Loki turns to look at him, considering the question before answering._

_“Mad? No. Unhappy? Yes. In some ways, I find myself relieved.”_

_“Relieved?”_

_“I’d begun to worry you didn’t return our feelings. That we might have been reading too much into looks and sparse touches. But you’ve just had this secret, you were worried, scared, keeping the burden to yourself. Love makes people do strange things. Yours made you pull away. That is if I’m not wrong.”_

_“You’re not wrong.” Tony breathes, closing his eyes. “It doesn’t matter though, it doesn’t change anything.”_

_“Are you sure about that?”_

_“What?”_

_“Stephen and I are both in touch with magic and mystic arts. We could find ways to repair your mind. Without you forgetting everything, the way Stephen said it, you also wish to forget the location of the Infinity Stones when we find the remaining two and hide them.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“My confusion comes in here then. Even with your plans to forget, why deny yourself something you want?”_

_“I- I don’t want it to be hard when we get everything done and it’s time to let go.”_

_“We love you, Anthony. It can’t get harder than it already is.”_

_“... So what? Just have me now, knowing it’s all just going to end one day?”_

_“If I have to choose between having you for a short amount of time, or not at all, I’d rather have you. So would Stephen. But the decision falls to you, and what you want, please make it quick.” Loki stands disappearing in a glimmer of green. Tony sat there for several hours after that arms wrapped around his knees staring at the darkening sky. Just wishing for once his life was simple and easy._

_

Peter was sitting in the middle of history when the hairs on his arm went up seconds before he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He dropped his pencil on his notebook and reached for it quickly but covertly. Making sure Mr. Allen didn't notice. There was a steady shake in vibration and a flash of movement on the screen.

His eyes go wide when he sees nothing but a red screen. He knows what that means Mr. Stark drilled into his head hundreds of times what that meant.

He gasps bolting up from his seat running out of class, down the hall, to his locker grabbing his backpack and running out of the school. the faint sound of Mr. Allen calling his name doesn't even make him consider slowing down or the repercussions.

Once out of the school he grabs the spider suit and drops his backpack to the ground, stripping before he enters the nearest ally. He gets dressed as quickly as he can, only fumbling twice. Once the suit is on he pulls the mask over his face and the HUD is lighting up all over.

“Friday- what-what happened, where's Mr. Stark?”

“The arc reactor was removed from Mr. Stark's chest three minutes ago. With the distance from here to his apartment, you will not make it in time to insert and revive him. Your priority is to recover the arc reactor and keep it safe.”

“I can't save him?” He asked, already moving, knowing the way to Tony's apartment like the back of his hand. Even going his speed over and under buildings jumping and swinging it takes about five minutes, and with the arc reactor, he knows time is of the utmost essence.

“I’m afraid not.”

She sounds robotic, none of her jokes or sarcasm. Even her voice is flat, everything she says is straight to the point. She didn't even call Tony, Boss like she always does.

Peter holds in the sick feeling in his chest and anxiety rolling up his shoulders.  He has to be strong for Mr. Stark. Without the arc reactor, he'll die. Peter can't help but wonder what happened. Why the reactor was taken out or who did it. But as much as he wants to investigate and fight for Mr. Stark, that wasn't his mission. He swore to Tony that he could count on him for this. That he wouldn't stray from the plan.  That the arc reactor came first and everything else came second. No matter what.

He lands on top of Tony's apartment building but hesitates. Seeing the leftover destruction. He carefully crept and looked over the ledge trying to piece together what happened.

A circle appeared in the corner of his HUD drawing his attention. It focuses and zooms down on a metal-armed man. While Peter would normally love to concentrate on that and learn more, that's not where the circle draws itself.

The target lands on Tony’s arc reactor in the man's flesh palm.  He readied himself, charting his path mentally and moved, remembering what Mr. Stark said, when it comes to this, there’s no hesitation, there’s no sitting around and thinking, there is only doing. It’s far too important for anything less.

The feel of falling from far hights will never cease to make Peter’s stomach drop, a slight wave of anxiety covered by a rush of excitement and adrenaline. After so much practice the fear of hitting the ground has faded, but after a certain point, a certain height, he always questions himself. He shoots his web, aiming with the help of HUD and his precise increased eyes sight from the spider bite. The web attaches itself to the side of a building far across the street, creating the perfect arch needed to swoop by the arc reactor and take it, continuing up.

He stays absolutely silent as possible. Remaining undetected for as long as he could. As he nears the metal-armed man and who he now realizes is Captain America, they both turn and look at him in confusion, but it’s too late, at the speed he’s swinging and his quick reflexes they aren’t quick enough to grab him or stop him from snatching the arc reactor.

Once it's in hand, he tugs on the web, going straight up, once he’s close enough, he lets go of the web and begins to climb the wall up to the top, stopping on the roof, crouching down as he hears the metal-armed man yell, and possibly begin charging to the building. It will take a while, elevator or stairs. Peter has a little bit of time. Just enough to make sure he has what he came for.

He looks at the arc reactor examining it’s broken and slightly crushed state, and can’t help but let his mind think back to how this was keeping Mr. Stark alive, and without it, he’s now dead.

He sniffs hard, not letting himself cry. Just like Mr. Stark said, _’Everyone's gotta die someday kid. If that's in your lifetime, then that's the natural order. Don’t cry or feel sad for me, I’ve lived enough life for two, I’ve had my time, and then it will be yours. Don’t hesitate, just do.’_

“Friday- it’s crushed, how do I get inside?”

The HUD flashes scanning the arc reactor, jagged pieces and all, and she speaks. “The arc reactor is no longer functional, break it.”  

He sighs, holding the arc reactor at an angle, and then smashes it against the ground. It splits into two pieces. He goes after the larger one, a hollow point and a green shines out. He picks it up, nestled inside was a stone.

One of the most important stones, Tony had told him. He’d explained the infinity stones, the danger of Thanos. Tony told him that when he was gone, Thanos would never be a problem again. However, that didn’t mean others wouldn’t try. It must always be protected, always hidden. The others were far beyond reach, hidden, some- if not all- aren’t even on earth. But those aren’t Peter’s priorities, the Time stone is his to protect, and his alone.

He hears a bang on the door that leads down to the building. Man, that guy is fast. Peter stands quickly, edging to the side of the building, he puts a hand on the spider emblem on his chest. “Open.” He commands, its voice-activated, but only for his. It pops open, and a holder just like the one that rested in the arc reactor sits, there, he places it inside and closes it. Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“I’ll protect it, Mr. Stark.” He whispers. “Until the day I die.” The door bursts open, and Peter takes that last step falling over the edge of the building, free falling through the air before shooting webs to disappear and swing between buildings.

_

Pietro stops at the Hydra base, they could have left, it would have only taken him a short amount of time to carry them both out of the state and then they could slow down, start over. But their things were here. Not much, just a few photos, clothes, and tiny bits of memory of their parents and their home, the people they once were before their world was blown apart by a Stark missile.

“Get your things,” Pietro says quietly. “We must leave immediately.”

She nods, then limps away into her room. Arrow wound above the knee causing her to wince whenever she moves it. He goes to his own room, right next door to hers, and collects his things in his backpack. He doesn’t hear Zanayah come up behind him until she makes her presence known.

“What are you doing back so soon?” She asks. He freezes in the gathering of his things, back straightening, and he turns to face her.

“We finished this,” He says. “We no longer work for Hydra.”

Zanayah smiles, looking down at her hands, seeming bored. “Are you now?” Wanda steps out of her room carefully, her own bag in hand. “You wish to just give up? Let go? With everything, we have planned? What happened to making Stark pay for what he’s done to you? To your family?”

“You don’t care about our family.” Pietro hisses, “All you want is to use us, we won’t allow that anymore.”

“If I recall, you joined Hydra for that very purpose. Use us, to get to Stark, exact revenge, and in return, you work for Hydra, swear allegiance. What changed?”

“We realized we could just do it ourselves. We don’t need Hydra.”

“You intend to go after Stark yourself? That's foolish.” She chuckles.

“No.” Wanda smiles. “We’ve already finished Stark. Doing what you couldn’t all these years.”

Zanayah’s smile drops and her eyes flash green. “What?”

“We killed Stark. He’s dead once and for all.” Pietro says, trying to put on a face of pride despite how wrong it now feels. There’s a sick feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

Zanayah moves before either of them even have the sense to expect it, her knife cutting him right across the cheek. She clutches the blade in the palm of her fist, and before their eyes, she morphs looking identical to Pietro, she searches through his memory and watches as he kills Tony.

Her hands shake and she steps back.

“You really killed him.” Her voice low and dark. Shaking hands balled into fists. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

“I know what I’ve done! I’ve freed us!” Pietro yells.

She shakes her head, and it’s uncanny for Pietro to see what the moment looks like on his own skin. “You just killed the only person in all nine realms that could free Thanos from his eternal imprisonment.”

“Thanos?” Wanda asks. “That’s the name your guards whisper in halls, who is he?”

Zanayah levels a glare at Wanda, and Pietro now knows what pure rage looks like on his own face. This time he moves, knowing The Clone won’t hesitate to kill them now. He grabs his bag, and then picks Wanda up faster than he’s ever gone before, and runs out of the compound not daring to slow down until they are miles away.

When they stop Wanda’s hair is wild and it takes her a second to get her bearings.

“Pietro.” She says breathlessly, with panic in her voice.

“What?”

“For a moment, I could see into her mind. The rage… the anger… her fear it was overwhelming. She may never stop hunting us for taking this from her. We'll never be safe.”

“Then we’ll need to kill her too,” Pietro says.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight Trigger Warning!: Zanayah cuts herself for a spell, not like graphic at all, but I'm letting everyone know in case that bothers you. Also something gross, she licks blood off her blade too, so watch out for that if that stuff bothers you. (It bothers me a little, so i understand, but really i didn't write it super detailed. I promise) 
> 
> We are going to pretend that this is the suit Peter wore in Infinity War and not the regular suit he had before that like I wrote in the last chapter. Instead of Karen Peter has Friday because Tony saw that code in the future and still wanted it, but without Ultron he still had Jarvis, so Peter got Friday instead. 
> 
> Annd Just dark/evil Tony won the vote, i'm sorry for those of you who wanted something else, but I am willing to do a mix of things, getting the majority opinion really helped me shape this chapter and further the plot. Everything is coming together and Thor will be here soon!

Zanayah’s hands shook and dripped with black blood. She’d punched concrete walls until they cracked and broke, ignoring the pain in her hands and the torn flesh on her fingers. She descended to the lower level, head hung low in shame. The room illuminated by green power, she immediately dropped to her knees.

“I’m sorry, My Lord. I have failed you” She confesses, voice weak and wavering. Shadows of movement are cast on the ground Thanos, she has to resist the urge to flinch despite knowing it is quite impossible for Thanos to hurt her where he is now.

“Stand.” His voice echoes, none of the venom or anger she was expecting present. She stood, obedient as always, but keeping her head hung low. “What has happened?” He asks.

“I sent the Maximoffs off to cause a diversion like you asked of me. But Pietro… he went rogue, killed Stark.”

“What of the Trickster, and the wizard?”

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but she answers anyway. “They are alive, unharmed.”

“Do they know of Stark’s death?”

“I’m not sure. But they were nearby, if they aren’t they will be soon.”

“Good.” He nods, and she glances up at him, image blurred beyond the glass.

“Good, my lord?”

He smiles, “This would, in fact, be a failure, except the Trickster and the wizard would never stand the loss of their loved one.”

“Without the Time Stone, they are unable to revive him. Unless Loki has become more powerful than I am aware.”

“You are correct. However, just before you arrived I felt something. The Time Stone for a moment was free from the cloaking Tony placed on it. Somewhere nearby. If they haven’t found it already, then you must help them do so, with it, they will not hesitate to revive the Merchant of Death. When he is, you are to bring him and the stone back here. I grow weary of this cage. Free me, Zanayah. You have yet to fail me. Do not do so when we are so close.”

She bows, a flicker of hope and wash of relief come over her. Then turns to leave, wondering if after all this time Tony really had it nearby.

“And Zanayah,” Thanos calls out, she pauses, looking over her shoulder at him. “Use your own face. I think it’s time you and Loki reunited.”

A wicked smile curves on her face and she nods.

This will be fun.

_

Bucky finally breaks that damn door open just to see that red thief fall off the edge of the building only to shoot some kind of web and swing around buildings. He looks to the ground and sees the arc reactor broke in two pieces he picks them up, noticing something strange on the inside of it. He studies the hollow part and even outlines it with his finger. The metal warm to the touch. Odd, considering its broken and has been this whole time. He looks back up in the direction the red clothed idiot swung and all at once remembered how Tony told him to keep the arc reactor safe.

There must have been something inside.

He presses a finger to his ear. “Falcon! Follow that red guy, catch him!”

“Who Spiderman? Why?” Sam asks looking to the sky, watching the kid swing.

“Spiderman?” Natasha’s voice questions over the line.

“Yeah you know, some kid with spider powers. He’s small-time, helps out with neighborhoods and stuff, I think he has a twitter.” Same explains.

“A what?” Steve asks.

“It doesn’t fucking matter, just go after him, he stole something!” Bucky yells, cutting in. Sam sighs, taking off, following after going overhead to get a good vantage point.

“Stole what?” Steve asks, still down on the street, looking up to Bucky on top of the building.

“I don’t know. Something Tony was hiding in the arc reactor.”

“You think it’s what Hydra wanted?” Clint asks.

Bucky shrugs. “I think so. Maybe that’s why Pietro killed him. Just forgot to actually check inside the thing. Or maybe he couldn’t get it open.”

“If it is, then what does the friendly neighborhood Spiderman have to do with it?” Clint asks. “He’s not working with hydra is he?”

“We’ll ask him when we catch him.” Steve says, “Everyone move out, follow Falcons signal, catch Spider-Man anyway you can. We want him alive to answer questions.” Steve turns to his motorcycle, and pauses, looking up at Tony’s building. Eyes landing on the broken window. His breath comes out shaky as he tries to exhale. Everything in him froze when Natasha said it. He didn’t process the words, not fully. Not wanting to believe it, he still doesn’t. But watching Bucky walk out, arc reactor in hand had forced him too. Walking out with that… he might as well have actually been holding Tony’s heart in his hands.

Something that's been a part of Tony for so long now. In fact, the entire time Steve had known Tony there had been this arc reactor, something he needed to live, and it was just… here, without him. Everything pulled to focus and he was suddenly filled with grief and regret.

This day, he just wants to start it over. In fact, the whole week.

If he had started this differently. Maybe if he warned Tony months ago when he found out Hydra was looking into him, then things might have turned out differently.

He distracts himself from the regret with this mission, with the Spiderman and whatever it is Tony had died protecting.

_

 

Stephen and Loki lay Tony’s body on the ground. “We must preserve him.” Loki says, voice straining to make a sound. Stephen nods. Finding it hard to find the words that could ever possibly make this better. To ease the hurt he sees in Loki’s eyes.

He doesn’t know how to fix this, he doesn’t know where to find the Stone, and he knows, deep down, that Tony wouldn’t want him to find it. It’s the reason he hid them, to prevent that horrible future he saw. He wanted to locations, the power, it all needed to die with him, after all, he was Thanos’ last hope of ever being freed.

Loki laid his hands on Tony’s dead torso, and ice spread out over his skin hardening him, preventing his body from decaying. Not that decay would affect the power of the Time Stone. His body just needs to be there for it to work. Still, he didn’t want to watch Tony’s body slowly decay, neither did Loki.

Once Tony was fully frozen Loki sat back, looking at his work. “It’s my fault.” He whispers.

“What?” Stephen asks, “No, it’s not.”

“I told him to stay here.” Loki shakes his head. “He was without his suit and the memories… he was unfocused. He couldn’t stand a fight. I should have stayed and protected him. It was not my fight. I should have left her to the Avengers.”

“They weren’t here yet.” Stephen says. “You couldn’t just sit there and watch people die.”

“I could!” Loki yelled. “I’d rather have watched the world burn than lose him.”

“Hey! That’s not true!” Stephen snaps. “Maybe before, when you were the prince of Asgard or whatever, but that's not who you are anymore. I’m not the same either. We changed, we put the world before ourselves and each other, that's what we swore to, that’s what we promised. While Tony would be torn up about our deaths he wouldn’t blame it on his want to save innocent people from dying. You want to blame someone, then blame that bastard who killed him.”

“I want to find him.” Loki’s eyes darken with hatred. “I want to kill him in the most painful ways imaginable.”

“Good, because so do I. Only question is do we do it before or after we find the stone.” Loki’s about to answer that when he stops, suddenly he stands, eyes looking up toward the ceiling. “What is it?”

Loki’s eyes come back down to meet Stephens and they shine and emerald green, something Stephen’s never seen him do before.

“Do you feel that?” Loki asks.

“Feel what?”

“Blood magic.”

_

Peter knew he was being followed before Friday alerted him. The hairs on his arms and Spidey senses alerting him to something moving quickly above. He knows that shape, those wings familiar from T.V, it’s the Falcon, and the sound of a motorcycle behind him has him checking over his shoulder, seeing captain America speeding up trying to join the chase.

Everything Peter knew about the Avengers was that they were heroes and worked with Mr. Stark. He was amazed when he was given an internship and Mr. Stark actually came to his house to speak with him and his aunt. Then Mr. Stark had told him he knew about Spiderman, and actually wanted to help upgrade the suit and teach him a few things.

Fighting styles, using his speed, agility, and strength to his advantage against any enemy or weapon. He also gave him some much-needed advice on calculations when it came to wind resistance and gravity for calculating speed and height before he blindly jumped off buildings. There were lots of fumbling and bruises the first few weeks of figuring out his body and strengths

After a few months of going through training simulations and upgrading his suit, Tony pulled him aside and told him everything. About the future, the Infinity Stones, Thanos. He told Peter why he approached him, why he gave him access to all the sublevels of the tower, his very own personal AI, Friday. All of it, so that when the time came, Peter would be ready to take on the mantle of protecting the Time Stone from the world- no- the universe.

Mr. Stark had been very strict, no one can be trusted, Peter was allowed to appoint one person to take the stone when/if he died. But he had to be truly sure that person would put the universe before themselves, that they wouldn’t be tempted to use the stone for any reason, nor trade it away. They needed to have a strong will. Tony pulled Peter to the side one day and asked him if he was sure he could handle the task. Not to give the stone up for any reason, for any one life. His own or anyone else's. Even Aunt May, or Ned. Tony mentioned them specifically because it’s that important. Any one life isn’t more important than the possible outcome of the stones being in the wrong hands.

So even if he see’s Captain America and the Falcon as heroes, he can’t trust them with this. Mr. Stark didn’t.

He picked up the pace, making sure to zigzag between more buildings. There was a gunshot, the sound echoed between buildings and at first, he couldn’t find the source, but suddenly his was falling, his web was shot, causing him to suddenly freefall. Momentarily he flailed in panic, but Friday had his back, the spider legs Mr. Stark had installed spread out, digging into the brick of the nearby building, slowing his fall he shot another web using the time, and pulling himself across the street.

“Where’d the shot come from Friday?” Peter asks. The HUD shows her scanning sound analysis, and an arrow appeared in the top corner he followed it, looking around, and on top of a building not far he saw the one-armed man, with a sniper rifle.

The eyepiece of his mask narrow so he can see more clearly. He leans up, feet stuck to the window of the building and the spider legs acting as his arms, he aims his webs perfect, breathes and takes the shot. He laughs victoriously as the man’s face is covered in his web.

“Incoming.” Friday says, and he’s suddenly away of Falcon coming up behind him. He retracts the spiderwebs and allows himself to fall the rest of the way to the ground. The sound of Cap’s motorcycle revving as he turns and speeds down the road catches Peter’s attention.

“Friday, Captain America cheated on Mr. Stark, right?”

“According to my updates from Jarvis, that is correct.”

He smiles behind his mask. “Activate Instant Kill Protocol.” The eyepieces sharpen to a small circle, turning red. The HUD activated the rapid-fire taser webs. He hasn’t used this protocol before except for on some rubber human-shaped dummies, but he’s sure it won’t kill Cap. Hopefully, it’ll just hurt like hell. He shoots three webs in quick succession Friday alerting him to the slight changes in Caps trajectory once he sees the webs coming at him.

His reaction times are quick.

Thankfully so are Peter’s. He jumps up into the air, using all he strength as Cap dodges them and comes in close. Shooting two webs out on both sides he anchors himself there in the air. Using Cap’s speed against him, kicking the super soldiers right in the chest, knocking him off the motorcycle. He’s moving to shoot a taser web at him when Falcon drops down behind him, almost landing a punch. Peter has to spin out of the way to dodge it.

“Three against one just isn’t fair.” Peter says, aiming the web at falcon and hitting him twice. It’s kind of funny to watch the man spasm uncontrollably before falling over. The metal armed man is still trying to get the web from off his face, so now it’s just him and Captain America.

The man stands, from where he fell, the motorcycle clear across the street, bracing the shield in front of him, knowing the webs are dangerous after seeing Sam fall. Natasha and Clint aren’t too far behind if he stalls long enough he can take this Spider-Man down.

Peter smiles as the HUD flashes and numbers appear around Captain America’s form. Mr. Stark must have added some kind of specks to show a person’s strengths and weaknesses if scanned. Peter’s never really fought anyone and used this. He’s stopped a few robberies, but nothing this high stakes.

The shield had the most powerful numbers around it, meaning Peter was at a high disadvantage while Cap had it. However, there was an easy fix for that according to the numbers.

“Nice shield, can I have it?” He asks as he shoots his web after setting it to the steel setting. It’s great for strength and super sticky. His web catches the edge of the shield, and it yanks with all his strength pulling it from Steve’s arms into Peter’s. He slots his arms through the loops attached to the back, and it hangs a little lose on him, man the arm size difference between the two has never been more glaring to Peter. He doesn’t allow that to scare him though Mr. Stark trained him for this. He can do it.

Steve steady’s himself ready to run at this Spider guy, get the shield and knock him out. Drag him back to Tony’s apartment and have the team interrogate him, find out what he took. He’s waiting for him to make the first move again. With the webs and the strength, he could go anywhere as a possible escape from an attack, Steve’s got to stop him while he’s in motion, that’s how best to deal with this. Especially now that he’s got the shield.

“You don’t want to do this kid.” He warns. Patience wearing thin and wanting to taunt him into reckless moves. But then there’s a sound, he probably wouldn’t have picked it up if he hadn’t been so focused on the kid. It’s the sound of air quickly being cut, like one of Clint’s arrows, but louder.

The kid staggers where he stands, feet sliding on the cement, and suddenly his helmet shrinks back into the rest of his suit, his shocked face is exposed to Steve. That made Steve pause as well, confusion setting over him.

Just behind Peter appears Zanayah, a glimmer of magic fading making her viable to everyone. The sound of her blade leaving Peters back is covered by the pained gasp the falls from the kid. He drops to his knee, clutching his abdomen, as the blade went through him completely and he’s bleeding on both sides. He falls face forward on the cement.

“The Clone.” Steve whispers, then he charges, not hesitating. She must be after whatever it was Tony had hidden and he wasn’t going to let her get it. She laughed as she dodged off of his advances and attacks, he grabbed his shield from the ground and threw it at her, she caught it and tossed it to the side.

“Is that really the best you can do?” She asks, looking disappointed. “How about I show you some real power?” She brings her dagger up to her own wrist and cuts a curved line, chanting something in another language, the blood flows up from her wound, defying gravity, and hovering together, black in color like oil. It collects together, sharpening into a point before shooting at him, stabbing him in the collar and entering his body. He gasps as his body runs cold, and his limbs seize up. He drops to his knees, trying to find a way to stop the pain but can’t as it’s in his blood. She walks over to him, smirk curled on her face before turning back to Peter, the boy still shivering in pain, she moves him with her foot, pushing him so he lays on his back. She licks the blade of her knife, that still has Peter’s blood collected on it, and she begins searching through his unorganized scattered memories.

Peter whimpers as he tries moving and the pain in his side flairs. Zanayah shushes him gently while pressing her heel to his throat. “Shh, I’m trying to think. Your memories are so jumbled. You are a hyperactive one.” She smiles, eyes shining green trying to sort through. There is something important there. Something with Stark. She locates a memory, a conversation talking about the Time Stone and the others, yet no locations on them. Figures Tony wouldn’t make it that easy.

She tsks looking down at the spider emblem on the boy's chest, she leans down, getting a closer look. Stark managed to develop a way so that the power of the stones can’t be detected. Thanos before could feel them across the realms. But now, it’s as if they didn’t exist. For one to be so close to her and she couldn’t detect it made her oddly proud of Stark.

His mind truly makes him a formidable foe against Thanos.

“So, it’s voice-activated?” She asks rhetorically. “For your voice. Good thing I can imitate that. Otherwise, I’d have to torture you until you said it, and I really hate breaking such pure sweet innocent boys like you. Too easy.” She shrugs. Peters' eyes go wide as the structure of her face begins to change and shape into his. She lays her hand across the emblem and smiles. “Open.” A simple command and Peter’s failed less than an hour of holding the Infinity Stone.

“Oh, what beauty.” She marvels, reaching into the holder and pinching the stone between her fingers. It’s smaller than she imagined. With what great power it holds, she can feel the energy leaking out of it. All Thanos’ talk and finally she has physical proof that this power is real, now she feels it. She twirls the Time Stone between her fingers like a coin.

“Zanayah?” A familiar voice comes from behind, and she pauses, letting the shock of emotions running through her run its course before putting on a more confident face, and turning to face him. Loki’s eyes are as wide as saucers, he’s breathless and doesn’t look a day older than the last time she saw him. Although she’s changed, living in the shadows and practicing blood magic has a physical effect on a person.

“Hi, Honey.” She says softly, a warm smile spreading on her face. “What’s it been? Two hundred years? Did you miss me?”

“You’re dead.” He whispers, taking a step back, she rolls her eyes taking a step forward.

“Dead? Is that what Odin told you? Wow, that man loves to cover up his failures with pretty neat lies. Although I’m sure he would have killed me, had he the chance.”

Loki takes another step back keeping the distance between them.

“Do you fear me? There’s no need, you know I’d never hurt you.” Her voice kind, but Loki can sense the hints maliciousness in her tone.

“Except for all the times that you did.” He hisses.

She rolls her eyes, “Are you talking about the spells? It was twice, I went through the same pain, in fact, I went through more. It’s just what it took to unleash the true power.”

“It was never just about power to you. You used me to get back at Thor.”

“The spoiled man-child who would be king? Clinging to that hammer as if it was his very reason to live? He stuffed his face like a pig and spoke as if he wanted all of Asgard to be able to hear him. He talked more than he listened. I had no want nor use for Thor. It was always about you. I saw something between us, a shared connection. You still feel it don’t you. It drew you to me.” Her voice softens on the last sentence and she takes a step closer, into his space as he doesn’t step back this time.

“No.” He shakes his head.

“Don’t fret.” She chuckles hands landing on his shoulders in a gentle touch. Still cool to the touch like she always remembered, only now he seems colder. “I know you’ve got a new love. Two in fact. I don’t intend to fight for your attention. Two hundred years was long enough to get over you.”

“Then why are you here? What do you want?”

“I found someone else I feel a connection to. We share a vision. But at this very moment, the only thing I need… is your blood.”

_

Stephen stayed with Tony as Loki ran off, he wanted to go with him, but Loki had insisted he stay and he couldn’t help but feel like Tony’s body would disappear if someone wasn’t watching it. Anxiety tugged at him, with the mention of blood magic, he’d never heard of that before and is unsure of what it is. Although with Loki being from another planet that’s way more advanced than earth, there are bound to be a few things he knows that Stephen doesn’t.

So, he sits there, watching Tony’s lifeless body slowly drip water from the ice Loki covered him in. When he hears the elevator ding and the fast-paced approaching footsteps, he had no idea what to expect, but it sure wasn’t Loki holding the Time Stone.

“You found it?” He gasps, standing as Loki walks over.

“Yes.” He nods frantically. “No time to waste. Bring him back.” Stephen agrees they both kneel down to the floor sitting on opposite sides of Tony’s body.

“He’s frozen.” Stephen says.

“The stone will reverse most of if not all of the ice. Just do it.” Loki urges, and Stephen understands the rush. But pauses again, looking at the bare stone.

“It’s dangerous to use without the eye of Agamotto.”

“Do you have it?”

“No.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to make do.”

The only person Stephen had ever seen use the Time Stone bare handed was Tony. Something in the memories from the future, he knew how to get around the adverse effect of the raw energy. He’d used it to trap Thanos.

Stephen held the stone in his closed fist, and two rings of green energy appeared on his wrist, just as it had before when he used it the very first time in the sanctum. Only he felt the heat of warmth in the stone begin to radiate painfully. He moves his hand carefully to the left, and Tony’s body shines green, as the light from between his fingers cast’s down on him and the ice begins to melt at a faster rate than the slow drip from before. As color returns to Tony’s face and his body seems to inflate slightly, with life and energy flowing back into him. Stephen focuses on his chest. Watching as the arc reactor reappears there. Instead of stopping there he continues to go back in time just in that one area until the reactor once again disappeared, and in its place unscarred flesh began to stitch together, he didn’t stop until the chest was fully healed and when he did, Tony’s eyes shot open and he gasped.

Both of them are quickly spurred into action, Stephen drops the stone, uncaring of where it landed or the burn in the palm of his hand as he reached for Tony as he releases a fit of coughs and shivers violently. Blinking hard.

“G-g-god it’s c-cold. W-why?” Tony’s teeth clatter audibly as his body jerks a few times. Stephen calls the cloak to him and then wraps it around Tony’s shoulders.

“Sorry,” Stephen apologizes, “We froze your body.” Tony blinks up at him confused.

“I-I, y-you what?” He shivers again.

“It’s okay Tony, just breathe.” Loki says from behind, Tony listens, taking deep breaths, Stephen lays a hand on his chest, just feeling the beat of his heart.

Tony alive.

He felt the stinging of tears in his eyes, and the weight of grief lift from his chest with relief. He pulls Tony in close, needing to feel the man alive in his arms while doing his best to keep him from freezing to death. Tony’s head now tucked under his chin, Stephen looks to Loki. “How did you find the Time Stone?”

Loki stands, eyeing the Stone where it was abandoned on the floor behind Stephen. “Well it was a simple matter, Thanos felt it nearby and I simply had to follow the trail of running avengers to the source.”

“Thanos?” Stephen asked confused, Loki’s eyes flashed green, and his body began to morph down into a woman.

In her hands, a sudden force of black magic explodes, and Stephen is knocked clear across the room. The cloak abandons Tony flying over to him, trying to catch him before he collides with the kitchen counter. Zanayah reaches down for the stone, holding it in her hands, and then wraps her arms around Tony’s shivering body.

“Say goodbye.” She smiles as Stephen collects himself preparing for a fight, but there’s a flash of black again and suddenly she and Tony are both gone. He falters slightly as he steps forward reaching for their disappeared body.

“Tony!” He yells, but they’re already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want everyone to know Peter and Steve are not dead and will be fine, i left them hanging in a very bad spot but they're going to be fine.


	14. Chapter 14

Thor woke early in the day, with a pain in his shoulder. Strange because he didn’t remember getting injured there. He looked to the shoulder, and couldn’t see any visible reason for the ache, yet it was there, pounding, and inescapable. Preventing him from falling back to sleep for a more suitable time. He walks out of his room, onto the great balcony that looks over Asgard, he sees sights of early morning life as he clutches his shoulder.

In the distance, he can see Heimdall walking down the Bifrost.

He leaves the balcony, and goes through the castle, heading out to meet him.

“Heimdall, is something wrong?”

Heimdall nods. “I need to see the king.”

“Why? What is it?” Thor asks, following the man quickly. Heimdall pauses, leveling a wary eye, watching as Thor holds his shoulder. “I think you already know.”

“Blood magic.” Thor answers his suspicions confirming. “But the book was destroyed, who else would know?”

“It is no one new.”

“It can’t be Zanayah.” Thor shakes his head in disbelief.

“I wouldn’t know for sure, she always managed to escape my all-seeing eye. However, I just became aware of someone else who has managed to go undetected all this time.”

“Who?”

“Loki. He lives.”

_

When Tony woke up, he immediately realized he was unable to move. His body stiff and cold. There was an itch on his nose he wanted to scratch but couldn’t, as his arms wouldn’t listen to his mind. None of his limbs did. Not a single finger or toe. He exhaled a confused huff. Trying to get a grasp of the situation, he was lying face down on a hard, grey, cold, surface. His chest bare on the rocky texture, but his pants still on thankfully. His body began to warm slightly with consciousness, but tiny lines on his back were leaving traces of cold and suddenly he was shushed.

“Calm down.” Came a woman’s voice, her presence suddenly known to Tony, she was just out of sight behind him. Making him wish he could turn his head to see her.

“What’s going on?” he slurs out, his tongue feeling lazy in his mouth and his mind feeling clouded as he tried forming words and collecting thoughts.

A finger touched to his back, leaving a line of warm liquid that soon cooled in the air as she moved, painting lines of something he couldn’t figure out. He tried squirming to get it off, but his body continued to remain stock still.

“I’m almost done.” She adds the last few lines, smiling down at her work, before standing sticking her bleeding index finger to her mouth to stop the blood flow finally. Tony’s back layered with symbols and words in another old language, written in her black blood.

She looks back to the book on the floor next to Tony’s leg. Double checking that nothing’s missing, and she nods proudly, over to the glass wall where Thanos’ stand silent watching.

She stands over Tony palms open wide, “This will hurt.” She warns. “But true power is rarely painless.”

Tony barely has the mobility to flinch as a burning pain in his back begins, and then shoots through his entire body as he grits his teeth. It only grows, and he feels like his skin is burning clear off his back and exposing him deep down to the bone. Thankfully his mind shows him mercy and he blacks out whatever it is that comes next.

_

Steve’s vaguely aware that at some point he passed out as he comes to, looking up at the sky. He hears a pained gasp off to the side, and looks over, to see Loki hunched over Peter. Bucky’s just off to the side cutting the webs from Sam’s skin and suit. While Natasha and Clint are couched down by him.

“Okay, alright, it’s alright, hold still, this will feel very cold, but will help until we get you to Stephen.” Loki shushes and then places his hands on both sides of the wound. For a moment the glimmer disappears from his hand’s, and their normal blue shines as ice layers over Peter’s wounds, temporarily sealing them.

“Ah! That’s cold.” Peter shivers and braces himself on the sidewalk.

‘There,” Loki says, standing. “The bleeding has stopped, for now. We must get back, so come on.” Loki holds out a hand for Peter to take and helps him stand upright. Peter looks over at Steve as he groans and begins to stand as well.

“What about him?” Peter asks Loki gives Steve a passing glance.

“He will be fine. It was only a bit of dark magic, your wound is far more serious. Besides, I doubt you heal as fast as he does.”

“Wait!” Steve calls as they begin walking back toward the apartment buildings. “We have to- the clone she-she wanted to take something.”

Loki sighs, “And she got it.” Loki tries not to let the implications of that slow him down. He has to get back to Stephen, they must find her and get the stone back. Who knows what her plan with it will be. It’s not as if she can free Thanos, although he’s not sure if she knows that.

It won’t be easy to get it back from her, but he intends to.

_

Loki pushed the door open with his foot with Peter leaned on him passing the threshold together. The team filing in behind them. But his eyes immediately fell to the empty space that once held Tony's body. He freezes, Peter stumbling as he didn’t stop quick enough himself.

 “Where is he?” Loki asks as Stephen steps forward quickly taking Peters weight and guiding him to sit on the couch. “Where is he?” Loki asks again, voice a higher level of alarm when he doesn't get an answer.

“I uh...” Stephen begins. “Its- you-you came in with the Time Stone and then I brought him back. But then it wasn't you. It was some woman. She knocked me back and then she took him. She took him and the time stone. Just like that. Right in front of me. I- I lost him.”

Loki tries to process the information one piece at a time. Tony is alive. Oh, thank the all father. Tony is alive.  Not so good news. Zanayah has him. Loki should have known this would be the first place that she’d go. She took his blood for Christ sake.

“Then we must find them at once.”

Stephen’s about to ask how, when there’s a startling crack of lighting and thunder sounds on the street.

“Oh no,” Loki whispers.

_

Tony’s head feels too heavy on his shoulders, and it lulls forward. His still bare chest in full view, and it takes a moment for him to realize something is wrong with it.

The better way to put it is something’s missing.

He runs a shaky hand down his chest, and gasps, it’s his skin. Scar-free, arc reactor gone. That pressure on his lungs gone, and aching pains, all gone.

He lets out a stuttering breath as the realization seems to shock him in growing waves. A question knitting in his eyebrows as he looks up to the strange woman that stands before him. “What?” He begins to ask. Mind still drawn to how his skin feels so smooth and new.

“That was the wizard.” Zanayah says, “It seems he didn't like the glaring weakness in you, so he got rid of it.”

“He reversed me to before the bomb exploded?” That’s the only explanation that comes to mind at the moment. Not that there is a whole lot going on in his mind. His head while heavy also feels clouded, and his skin all over tingles with something, maybe static or energy, he can’t pin down the words to fully describe it. The events of the day are all so unclear. Memories still coming in and out, tearing his focus away. He remembers Pietro, then the searing pain in his chest, the arc reactor destroyed. Then possibly Bucky? He told him something maybe? Then he was awake, freezing cold, and Stephen and Loki were there, but suddenly, the world faded to black and he was here.

She shrugs. “It would seem so.”

He pushes himself off the floor with more effort than he would ever care to admit to anyone outside of this room. “What the hell _did_ you do to me?” He asks, arm reaching to feel his back, the skin there still vibrating with pain and ache from the burn of before.

“You needn't worry. It was nothing bad.” She smiles as she says it, tone innocent but facial expression negating it.

“Nothing bad? I felt like I was on fire!” Tony steps to the side as she gets closer. “And who are you anyway? Why am I here?”

“Nothing great comes without a cost.” She says. “And my name is Zanayah. If you want to know why you’re here you should ask him.” She points behind Tony, and he hesitates before looking, not wanting to turn his back to an enemy, but also curious to see what she was pointing at.

A large wall made from textured glass, making whatever laid behind slightly blurry and hard to see. A large figure moved like a shadow, only growing as it approached. As it got closer Tony saw hints of color and gasped at who he was seeing.

“Thanos.” His voice is breathless, as a wave of memories hit him. The first time he laid eyes on Thanos, on that planet… what was it called? His mind focused to find the name. Titan. It clicked together, two pieces of a thousand scattered out on hardwood floors, depicting the lost memories of Tony’s life, and each one of them painful to sew together.

“Tony.” Thanos’ voice is powerful and loud as it rumbled past the glass in muffed waves meeting Tony’s ears and echoing off the rocky wall and ground of this room.

“You-you're locked away- how?” Tony tried to find that puzzle piece, the one telling him what happened between him and Thanos. How he was locked away, where.

Thanos looks up, at the glass and then back down to Tony. “I’m still in this placed where you’ve trapped me. Zanayah just managed to enchant this wall to see in and out of time.”

Tony smiles as the words trigger a memory in him. Yes, he used the Time Stone to lock Thanos out of time. Literally. He’s in a place where he can’t interact with the world. It isn’t truly even a place. It’s an empty plane, where Thanos won’t starve, or grow old, or even be able to kill himself, he will forever be trapped in the state he’s in. “A fate worse than death.”

“I’d say.” Thanos agreed.

Tony feels a swell of pride in his chest, after all, the Titan deserved this fate for what he’d done- or what he planned to do. Considering Tony stopped it from happening. “So, you’re the new head behind Hydra? Interesting. I would say I expected more, but I didn’t expect anything since I didn’t remember until thirty seconds ago.”

“I used what was in my reach. Although I can’t complain since it got me what I wanted. You, here.”

“So?” Tony looked over his shoulder at Zanayah, she hadn’t moved, like she’s content to let him talk with Thanos. Although she is a follower, so maybe she’s waiting for an order. “I’m not going to free you. No amount of torture will change my mind. I’m sure with whatever enhancements she’s got it will be very painful and creative, but I won’t do it. There’s no pain you can give me that will match what I felt when I saw the outcome of you winning.” Tony shook his head, trying to fight the wave of images of Peter turning to dust in his arms away. “I’d rather be tortured until I die. No matter how long that takes.”

“Bold claim.” Zanayah steps forward. “Considering I have the Time Stone, we could very well drag this out for ages. I could kill you and bring you back over and over. I could prolong your life, make it so you never grow old, so your body never gives out.” She holds the Time Stone in her gloved hand, stretches it out, offering it to Tony. “Too bad I won’t. That would be such fun.”

He lifts an eyebrow at her, looking between the stone and her face. She nods silently and reaches it closer to him.

Hesitantly, he reaches for the stone, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe she’ll pull out her dagger and cut off his hand, maybe even just a finger. Or she’ll snatch it away at the last second and laugh.

The other shoe never drops.

He carefully takes the Time Stone and she steps back, giving him his space.

“I’ll admit, I’m now confused.”

“It’s as you said.” She points out. “As Thanos winning is the outcome of you freeing him, you’ll never do it. We could torture you for decades and see how true you will is. But Thanos doesn’t want to wait decades to be free. So, we’re going with a different approach.”

“And what approach is that?”

“Why don’t _you_ win?” She asks, beginning to circle him, Tony follows her movements keeping distance until she stops, so he’s now facing her and Thanos.

“I’ve already won.”

“Have you?” She asks, crossing her arms. “I’ve seen your memories, I’ve been following you for months, what I see before me, what I’ve seen, is not the life of someone who’s won.”

“Says the girl taking orders from a crazy Titan literally locked out of time.”

She chuckles. “I admit, we’re not winning either. In fact, right now no one is winning. The world just keeps spinning in an endless order of chaos and momentary peace. There’s always new battles, new villains, new world ending events to stave off. To what end do think that comes to?”

“The end I see is Thanos staying locked away and I never have to see people that I care about turn to dust.”

“Yeah.” She nods. “Keep him locked away and he won’t do it. But someone else will. It may not be as easy as a snap, but it will happen. Someone else will grow tired of the world the way it is. Someone else will decide they want to take matters into their own hands, and where does that leave everyone you love?”

“If it happens, I’ll be there, to fight.”

“Will you? I mean, I don’t think you’re destined to live a very long life. Three times now, you should have died or would have died if just a single second had passed, or a single obstacle had been placed. This time you did die. Imagine that Tony, how could you protect everyone if you’re dead?”

“Then I guess it will be someone else’s job.”

“Whose? Steve Rogers? The man who broke your heart? You don’t trust him, or that team. Not like you used to. Then who? Stephen and Loki? I can see you putting your faith in them. But they’d be broken if you died. You should have seen them. Bent over your body, crying, speaking of rage and revenge. Prioritized after saving you of course. If they hadn’t been so rushed and eager I wouldn’t have been able to get Stephen to revive you before the rest of the team arrived. So, what if they can’t think clearly, and they get hurt? After all, they are part of the people you want to protect in the first place. Maybe you entrust Peter Parker to take your place and protect the world. I just don’t think he’s ready. So young, so hyperactive, uncoordinated, plagued by the trials of love and adolescence.” She chuckles. “And I took him down so easily. One knife to the gut and the world is lost.” She steps forward. “The only person who’s survived, the only person who’s made a difference, and the only person you can trust, is you. You and I both know it.”

Tony steps back, but no reply forms in his mind. He’s supposed to deny it all. Despite Steve breaking his heart, he’d still do whatever it took to protect the world. The team would too. Stephen and Loki, they’d be sad for a while, but eventually they’d move on, they’d have each other, and the world would be safe in their hands. Peter, Peter’s finished his training and Tony trusted him for a reason. The fault lands to Tony for keeping the Time Stone so close instead of hiding it somewhere far away like the others.

That’s what he should say at least.

That’s what he should believe.

But in some ways, she’s right. They’d all failed. Peter lost the Time Stone to her. Stephen and Loki didn’t listen and brought Tony back despite him telling them they should never use the Infinity Stones again for any reason. The team, their high options of themselves make them feel above it all, above order, and caution. They may not have shown it in this timeline, but before, with the accords, they’d rather rebel then fall in line. He can’t leave the world to a bunch of rogues who’d rather slither and hide in the sewers than take into account their own mistakes even when they had the best of intentions.

The only person Tony can trust to do what needs to be done and see it though is himself.

“So, what if I can’t trust them? I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

“And what are my options?”

“Leave. Hide the Time Stone like you did the others, forget again, and live your life fighting villains until one kills you. Or keep the Time Stone, collect the rest from where you’ve left them, and fix the world yourself, no limitations, no workarounds, and no powerful enemies you can’t defeat. All Thanos has ever wanted was balance, peace, and property. In many ways, you want that too. You just aren’t willing to sacrifice like he was, and maybe you don’t have to. Maybe with the stones, you can find another way. Your own way.”

“And what part of this paradise you’re trying to sell me involves me freeing Thanos?”

“You won’t be able to use the stones without his help. You are only human, they will overwhelm you. You may have found a fancy trick to stop the Time Stone from hurting you but using all six will kill you. Thanos has been studying the stones for a very long time. He can do almost anything with them. Free him, work together.”

Tony looks down at the Time Stone in his hand. He doesn’t remember where the others are yet, and that could take time. He’s not going to free Thanos that would be stupid, they may act like they want Tony to join the team, but he’s pretty sure Thanos will squish him like a bug once he’s free.

But that doesn’t mean Tony still can’t use them. Zanayah has a point. Why always play defensive when you can go offensive? Especially when you have the most powerful objects in all of the universe and a live-in captured guide on how to use them.

He bites his lip. Maybe… maybe he doesn’t always have to play fair. Maybe there is another way to do things.

_

“So, it’s true. You are alive.” Thor grips his hammer so tight his fingers begin to hurt. He tries organizing the emotions running through him, standing in this crowded destroyed apartment looking at Loki amongst his friends the Avengers.

Anger and relief. They intertwine and run through his veins. Making him want to hug his brother and punch him simultaneously.

“Thor-” Loki begins but he’s cut off.

“I would ask how you survived and remained hidden all these years, but I know blood magic is quite powerful. I felt its effects all the way in Asgard. You were foolish to use it out in the open as you have.”

“I have done no blood magic, I’m not what drew you here.”

Thor shakes his head, raising his hammer. “I will not stand for your lies. It is over. Give me the book, and you will come with me back to Asgard where you will be tried and punished for your crimes.”

“Okay wait.” Steve steps forward, seeing things escalating. “Loki? As in your brother who you said died?”

“Aye.” Thor nodded. “My traitorous brother.”

“It’s warm welcomes like this that stopped me from making my survival known.” Loki says bitterly.

“Warm welcomes such as these wouldn’t be needed if you hadn’t faked your death and betrayed your family!” Thor’s voice booms, and thunder rumbles outside.

“I won’t deny I made mistakes, and bad decisions, but I’m not the enemy you seek today.”

“Trying to save yourself from your true sentence. There’s no coming back from blood magic.”

“I know! But it wasn’t me.”

 Stephen steps forward leaving Peter to keep the pressure on the wound in his side, stopping just in front of Loki. He doesn’t intend to let Thor take him for any reason, even if it comes to a fight. ‘I’m not exactly sure what blood magic is exactly, but I can tell you Loki’s got no part in it!”

 “Yeah, what even is blood magic?” Clint asks.

“Blood magic, its forbidden in all nine realms.” Thor explains.

“Really? All nine?” Clint asks, eyes lifting in surprise.

“Why?” Steve asks, and Thor looks to his stained collarbone. Black veins appearing like cracked glass.

“You’re experiencing one of the many effects right now.” Thor points to Steve’s collarbone. “It’s unpredictable, unstable, and contagious.”

“Magic can be contagious?” Natasha asks.

“Yes, in a way. Not like a sickness though, the darkness of it spreads itself, once tapped into it’s like a living energy. Wanting to be used, corrupting minds. Not like whispers in an ear, but close to addiction.”

“How does it spread?” Steve asked, a trickle of concern thinking about how he was hit with it.

“It can only be spread one way, a castor, someone who studies blood magic and succumbed to it completely, casts a spell on another, causing bits of their darkness to attach to them, and grow within.”

“Is there a way to reverse or get rid of it?”

“No.” Thor looks to Loki. “Once the spell is cast, the person is now tainted, they will always feel an itch and connection to it. The only thing you can do is hope the victim has a strong enough will to resist the dark temptations.”

“So, the clone has blood magic?” Bucky asks.

“Clone?”

“It’s Zanayah.” Loki answers and Thor’s face darkened with unrestrained rage.

“So, she lives as well?”

“I saw her with my own eyes… felt her power. She even cut me.” He holds out his arm, a tiny heart carved into his skin. She did it after knocking him out.

“I’m sorry, who is Zanayah? You two know her?” Stephen asks.

“Aye.” Thor nods. “She’s Asgardian. Grew up not far from our home. We were quite close with her before she turned over to the blood magic. She happened upon a book hidden in the library, it had all sorts of spells and incantations for delving deeper into the art.”

“Okay… so what happened? How’d she end up here, on earth with both of you thinking she was dead?” Natasha asks.

“Blood magic is punishable by death. Odin after arresting her, delivered a swift execution that afternoon. Or so he told us.”

“Most likely, she escaped, and Odin didn’t want to tell us, fearing we’d be drawn to her.” Loki continued.

“Because of the blood magic?”

“Yes, she must have found a way to cloak it and herself, two hundred years went by without either of us feeling it, nor Heimdall seeing her.”

“So, it pays to have powerful friends like Thanos.” Stephen rolls his eyes, irritation washing over.

“Thanos?” Steve asks, and Stephen’s eyes flick over to Loki in silent question, the trickster nods. “Thanos is an alien, from the planet Titan. After his planet became overpopulated and basically ate itself to death, he made it his one single goal to collect the Infinity Stones and kill half the beings in the entire universe.”

“I’m sorry, what? How do you know? Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?” Steve turns to them.

“Because Tony made it his one goal to make sure that never happened.”

“How?” Sam asks.

“Well, he spent the better part of a year collecting the Infinity Stones and then locked Thanos away and hid them across the universe.”

“Infinity Stones, I believe I’ve heard of this before.” Thor says, interested in this new course of conversation.

“Few have.” Steven nods. “Despite their immense power, they’ve been a closely guarded secret to those who know of their existence.”

“But a year? This last year with you two? That’s what he’s been doing?”

Loki shakes his head. “No, he did this about three years ago. Starting just before the Avengers formed.”

“There’s no way Tony had time to secretly find these stones and fight some big bad alien while we were all living together.” Clint scuffed.

“He had our help.” Stephen said. Loki and he often went out gathering information and collecting things Tony asked of them, during the days and nights he had to spend with the team.

“No way.” Steve shakes his head. “We’ve been tracking Hydra this past year. We haven’t come across anything alien, they’ve got powered people, but that’s kind of Hydra’s mo.”

“Zanayah would never align herself in a human war. She’d find it beneath her, humans are like ants for her to squish under boot. If these Infinity Stones are what I remember them to be, and this Thanos is real, I do not doubt Zanayah has found herself an alliance in this. She craves more power, and companionship.” Thor says.

“Okay, so if you and Tony locked this Thanos guy away, how is The Clone still working with him?”

“Well he’s not free, but I suppose she could have found a way to communicate with him. In fact, I’m betting that’s why they’ve been so interested in Tony. Looking for the Time Stone, biding their time so he would free him.” Loki muses.

“and now they’ve got it, and Tony.” Stephen adds.

“If Thanos is free, almost everything we’ve done is for nothing.”

“Tony would never set Thanos free, and he’s the only one who can.”

“Not if he’s exposed to the darkness of blood magic.” Loki says, “It will corrupt his mind, he will grow to crave the power of the stones, and he might let Thanos free to help him do so.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to find him.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going to be longer, but when i was editing and reading it over, I thought Steve was being too much of a dick. I dont know why i keep writing him like such an asshole, I'm not a Steve hater i swear. Like I love him and Tony. I think Stephen and Loki's hate for him are affecting me somehow. Either way, i'm going to rewrite it and just post this tiny chapter while i do that.

Tony sits back against the far wall, Time Stone in his hand, he rubs it over his palm like a good luck charm. He could have left, he should have left. Zanayah gave him the stone and there’s nothing holding him back. Besides maybe a slight hint of disbelief that they’d really let him leave with the one thing they need to free Thanos. But it’s not the only thing. They need Tony.

He looks over at the glass wall. Thanos somewhere out of sight in the space, doing lord knows what. This is the cage he locked him in. This is what winning should look like. He had won. Coming back, getting the stones hiding them.

Only he hadn’t. There is no retirement for being a hero. There’s only death. There’s a movie quote somewhere that fits this situation he knows it. But doesn’t remember it exactly. Either way, there’s never an end game. There’s never being done. There will always be something else, someone else.

As long as Tony cares about people, about the world, he’ll never be able to just relax and live his life.

God, the last time he relaxed and tried to live his life he found out Obie was selling his weapons to the enemy and they were killing innocents. Hell, isn’t that why Pietro killed him? If Tony just stops it will come back to bite him in the ass, and if he doesn’t he’ll forever be fighting never knowing peace. Never having love or trust.

He envies those without this responsibility.

He looks down at the Time Stone in his hand, sniffing once then licking his top lip. There’s a feeling in his chest, and for the first time in a decade, it isn’t pain or the sudden inability to breathe. It’s hope, it’s power, it’s an idea. The light at the tunnel that’s been this uphill battle ever since he became Ironman.

 Maybe he makes a human-sized gauntlet, figures out how to use the stones. He doesn’t need to snap his fingers and make the bad guys disappear. But he can imagine it, knocking them down as soon as the rise up. No large battles, no cities destroyed, no innocent lives lost. Just a flick of his wrist and one villain down. He’d be able to live his life. He wouldn’t have to make a new sit every month, he wouldn’t have to train and scan, always on alert.

The infinity stones would permanently give him the upper hand.

His eyes turn back to the glass wall. He’d been weak in more ways than one before. He may have locked Thanos away, but he was still able to influence Hydra back into action to do his bidding, and the Maximoff’s, maybe they wouldn’t have had the nerve to attack Tony without them. Tony vaguely remembers them working with Hydra before, but that was when things were different. There’s just no way to be sure really.

All he knows is what did happen, and why it happened. He pushes up from the floor, using the wall to steady himself.

He feels lighter, physically. It could be the missing arc reactor, it only weighed about four pounds though. Some part of him know’s it’s got more to do with Zanayah than anything. He looks over to the table on the other side of the room. There’s a thick old book that lies on top of it. Black leather cover with a strap keeping it closed. It was open when she did whatever she did to him. 

Tony never much liked magic, but with how things have been going in the last few years it seems magic has taken a liking to him. Surrounded him, helped, and attacked him. After all, what was it that phrase? Magic is just science humans don’t yet understand.

Tony was good at science.

Maybe he just needed to learn.

He crosses the room to the table, fingers carefully hovering over the leather. There’s something there, a pulse of energy, much like a heartbeat pushing through the air, waves reaching his fingers. Interest sparks and he presses his fingers to the book. A jolt of heat runs through his arms and his body, a slight gasp as it registers as pleasure in his mind.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” Zanayah asks, sitting on the staircase sharpening her nails on her knife. “So good that it scares you a little? But not enough to make you want to stop.” She stands. “Your heart is racing, isn’t it? Excitement, curiosity, and a pull you can’t quite name all rushing inside of you.”

“What is it?” He asks, not removing his hand.

“Power.” She whispers directly into his ear, pressing her body up against his back. “So strong that it lives. It thinks. It yearns.”

“Yearns for what?”

She wraps her arms around him and caresses his sides and chest, hands pushing under his shirt feeling bare skin. He sighs as his skin tingles and warms everywhere she touches him, suddenly he feels hypersensitive.

“To be used.” She huffs, pressing her lips just behind his ear. “Will you listen to it’s call Tony? Show it mercy of all these years unused? Will you let it surround you and fill you until you’ve become one?”

“H-how.” He breaths out, eyes fluttering closed. The beat of his heart aligning with hers and the pulse from the book, and he feels once again light, a feather barely being pulled by gravity. He could float on this, this pleaser this warmth, this power.

“You’ve only taken the first step. Able to feel it, hear it’s call. The next would be to allow it to enter you. It’ll take a while, and I’ll also need your blood.”

He nods. “Yes, take it.”

She smiles against his skin. “Good.”

_

 

“Maybe check the Hydra bases again?” Steve muses aloud, placing a towel down on the couch before helping Peter lay on his side over it.

“Like she’s going to take him back to a Hydra base we’ve already found? No, she’s going to take him somewhere secure, somewhere we haven’t been, probably somewhere not even on our radar.” Natasha says.

“Well, how the hell do we find somethin’ not even on our radar?” Bucky asks.

“Loki and I will be able to sense her the next time she performs magic, we need only wait.” Thor assures.

“Wait?” Stephen shakes his head. “She doesn’t need magic to torture Tony or do god knows what else to him. She has the Time Stone, she could do so much damage not only to him but to others.” He sits next to the couch on his knees opening the medical kit from his apartment.

“She can’t free this Thanos guy, right? Tony has to do it?” Clint asks.

“Yes but, Tony doesn’t have all his memories, and she can take the form of anyone. She could trick him into doing it. He might not even remember who Thanos is and why he’s locked away. We can’t wait we don’t have the time.” Stephen explains.

“I see you like rushing us but aren’t coming with any ideas of how.” Sam points out. “All I’m hearing are problems stacked on top of problems.

Stephen sighs. “We need to focus, work on one issue at a time. First, we sew up Spider-man here, and then we find Tony, even if we have to go around the city looking in every building for him.”

“And hope that we aren’t too late.”

_

Loki stepped out of the apartment needing the fresh air, all the voices and people stuffed into the room was stopping him from thinking, from feeling. He needed to focus on Zanayah, that would help him sense her the next time she used the blood magic. He shakes his head, thinking about how it all started. About him and Thor, running around in the fields of Asgard, Thor working with a wooden stick pretending they were swords, and he with bits of magic both practicing for hours on end, making games of it even.

Occasionally Zanayah would join them. She lived in the village close to the castle, born with magic of her own. It was very faint and unable to do the damage it could now. Loki’s glimmer could make himself look like anyone, but even at that young age, she became them. Completely indecipherable from the original. With memories, she could pass any test friends and family gave her. Fingerprints, DNA, everything it would work.

The three got into plenty of trouble with her and their schemes. She’d always been mischievous and wild like Loki. More so even. But at that age, Thor was also like that. Always willing to play pranks and have fun.

Zanayah pulled Thor in first when she discovered blood magic. That book, hidden under piles of other in a dark corner of the library layered in dust. It was just something that seemed fun at the time. None of them knowing the dangers of it when they started. Or how addictive it could become.

Loki doesn’t know exactly what happened, but from what he knew, Thor had gotten scared of the power, he didn’t like the way it felt. He remembers Thor saying something along the lines of bugs crawling underneath his skin.

She turned to Loki after that. There were many late nights of going through the book, drawing symbols and letters on each other in blood and letting them burn. Eventually, Thor grew concerned for the both of them, seeing the darkness wrap up in them and told their father. That’s when Zanayah had been arrested. Thor and Loki had been locked away for several weeks, no contact allowed with each other or Zanayah until the rush of blood magic had settled and they could think clearly again. When they were let out, father had told him Zanayah was dead and the book destroyed, and they were never to speak of it again.

It was easier for Thor to let go after that He focused on fighting, and food and women. Loki had felt empty without her. Without dark magic running through him.

That emptiness only grew when he found out he wasn’t even Asgardian. When he had no true place on the throne. No one to call his own.

While it may have been a foolish fight, Thor was still his brother Odin and Frigga still his family, he felt betrayed. The hole in him only grew with the emotions. He only managed to close it with Tony and Stephen. Now it felt that the hole was beginning to tear itself back open.

“So, this whole time you’ve been saving Midgard?” Thor asks from behind, Loki closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before answering. 

“Well, Thanos is a threat to all nine realms, so not only Midgard but yes.”

“Why the change? The last I saw you, you were filled with rage and misplaced goals, wanting to take over, erase the frost giants and earn this imagined vacancy in father’s heart. To turn around and do all of this, not wanting recognition or fame or credit. It doesn’t fit with the brother I watched die.”

“I was hurt.” Loki admits. “To find out after all those years of feeling second, and different somehow to only realize it was true, that there were real reasons behind those feelings… I wasn’t thinking clearly. I wished to be the hero and king everyone worshiped and praised. I wanted victory, to be better than all others. Than you. When I failed… I sought to take it elsewhere, here, Midgard. I wanted to be their god, I wanted them to all kneel before me. I was willing to work for someone and do their bidding just for the chance. I was so blinded I ignored the dangers, the signs, my own torture. But I was shown the light, saved.”

“By this Stephen? The one with magic?”

“No.” Loki smiled. “He was there after, helped even, but it was Tony who saved me.”

“Stark?” Thor looked at Loki’s hand, where he twirled is a wedding band. Silver with a stripe of green. Simple and smooth. “Rings are a Midgard marriage custom.”

“Yes.”

“I noticed Stephen has one as well, does Anthony have one?”

“Yes.”

Thor let silence sit in the air as he processed. “Love changed you.”

Loki looked to the sky and smiled. “It did. At home I never felt right, I always felt as if there was a barrier between me and everyone. Except for with Zanayah. She… the way she made me feel, like- like-”

“Like you were one.” Thor finishes. “As if you had the same heartbeat, same thoughts, same feelings. It was part of her charm. Why we felt so drawn in. the dark magic, it- it strings you along, like threads on a puppet. Makes you feel in control, have epiphanies you never had before.”

“The worst part is that it doesn’t change you.” Loki thinks back remembering the early stages of the black magic clutching to him. “It just strips you of worry, regret, and fear.”

“Then eventually compassion and sympathy.”

“I can’t imagine a Tony without regret or compassion. It’s his drive to make the world better. Always atoning for past mistakes and always wanting to make sure everyone he loves is okay, is safe. Without that who would he be?”

“I pray we never find out.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping this chapter would be longer since it's been a while since I updated, but it's clear I'm a ho for cliffhangers so... here felt like a good place to end it.

Stephen walks outside, eyes meeting Loki’s. “Anything?”

“I felt something for a moment, but, then it stopped.” Loki shakes his head. “I’m worried.” He adds on in a whisper. “Tony is so kind and caring. Even when he pretends he’s not. Even when he’s forgetful. He cares about people. He holds himself accountable for the things he creates. His entire plan to save the world, it was because he cared about people. Not just the ones he loved.”

“Yeah.” Stephen nods, pulling Loki into a hug from behind.

“He wouldn’t be him if he didn’t care.” Loki says. “He would just be a genius, capable of anything. Soon to have the location of the infinity stones. All I can keep thinking is, that he and Thanos are just that little bit different.”

“Tony is nothing like Thanos.”

“Thanos isn’t just some monster who wants to kill people. He looks at things without a care for individual life. It’s about preserving the earth- the universe. It’s about prevention. His own planet was wiped out, by itself. Overpopulating and overuse. When you look at it, Earth is doing the same thing, and Tony has always been driven to protect it. He’s been handling it one issue at a time, trying to build a new machine to fix everything. He’s doing it because he cares about individual life. Thanos just… he saw the easiest way to do it. Kill half with the snap of a finger, save the world. Remember that machine Tony built, the one that went crazy and tried to kill the earth?”

“Ultron? That happened in the other timeline, right?”

“Yeah. But that had the same idea. Kill the humans to save the world. That’s something that Tony created.”

“Yeah, but that’s not what he wanted it to do.”

“No. But, what I’m saying is when programmed to save the world and left without compassion and caring, the easiest and quickest answer is kill everyone. Tony is just another smart person, with the capability to do almost anything he puts his mind to if he doesn’t have caring.”

“So, if the blood magic takes him over, you think he’s going to kill everyone?”

“I’m saying it’s possible.”

“Tony’s not a mass murder type of guy.” Steve says from behind them. They separate and turn to face him. “Tony… I know he lived this other life with you two, hiding the stones, falling in love, whatever. But I like to believe that I’m a good judge of character.” He looks down at his hands, thinking for a moment then looking back up. “Tony is reckless, but only when it comes to himself. He forgets to eat, he runs into battle, he never goes to medical. But when it came to the team? He was meticulous and obsessive. Making sure everything was alright, everyone had what they needed, that our equipment and suits were fine. Instead of slacking, or letting things go, he would check, and check again, and triple check. He stopped making weapons when he realized it was doing more harm than good. I think if Tony were to stop feeling, to stop caring, then, then he would simply stop checking. He would do anything to make sure he could continue with learning and challenging his mind, and building. He might make the next biggest and baddest bomb there ever was, but he wouldn’t make it because he wants to use it, he’d make it because he could. Because he wouldn’t care about the consequences of making something that dangerous.”

“Imagine what kind of weapons could be made with the Infinity Stones.” Stephen whispers.

“I can’t.”

“If we find him we won’t have to.” Steve says.

“Zanayah must be doing the blood magic low enough that we don’t feel it or she’s not using it. Either way, I can’t feel her. I don’t know where she is.”

“We do.” Steve turned first, recognizing the voice instantly.

“Pietro.” He hissed through gritted teeth. Loki and Stephen both turn at the name. Seeing Pietro standing not a few feet from them supporting much of Wanda’s weight so she’s not using it on her injured leg. Loki pushes from Stephen and charges them, eyes shining green and his skin turning blue.

_

“Is my blood going to turn black like yours?” Tony asks as she stirs the bowl in front of them. His finger pinched over it, dripping blood into the strange mixture of ingredients and her own black blood, all mixing inside creating an odd texture and unpleasant smell.

“Eventually.” She nods, thoughtfully. “It gets darker and darker the more you allow the magic to flow through you.” She pulls her shirt over her head, showing off her skin, hundreds of sigils and marks burned and stained into her skin, leaving barely any uncovered flesh. There’s one mark on her collarbone that draws his attention, he leans forward, brushing his thumb over the raised darkened flesh. She doesn’t even flinch, letting him do whatever he pleases.

“Loki has this on his hip.” He says.

She looks down at it, bringing her hand up, pressing his hand harder to her skin. It’s rough in some places, and silky smooth in others, the varying states of scar tissue causing an odd sensation to feel all at once. “I gave it to him. It’s the first mark, allowing you to feel the magic. You’ve got it on your back.”

“Loki’s blood isn’t black, and he’s never mentioned blood magic before.” Tony says, moving to pull his hand away, but she just holds it tighter, leaning forward faces close enough to feel the warmth of breath on each other’s faces.

“We were caught when we were young, just starting it all. Odin tried to have me killed, so I ran away with the book. Loki had no way of continuing without it. I’m sure he moved on not wanting to fantasize about things he thought he could never have.”

“Or maybe he just… knew it wasn’t a good idea.”  

“Does knowing others have done it make you worry? Or maybe you fear failing in a way he didn’t.” She leans the rest of the way forward, closing the space between them and their foreheads pressed together. “Tony feel me.” She whispers. “Not just skin, or the beat of my heart. Feel the blood running through me, the power, rippling off and crashing into you like waves. Can you feel me? Because I feel you.”

“Yeah? What do I feel like?”

“Potential. All this untapped energy deep in the core of you. Wanting to be used, freed.”

Tony shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s the case. I’m all tapped out. I’m not sure there’s much left of me to give.”

“No. It feels that way, everything around you stripped away. Living an unhappy life, alone. That happens, it makes you feel you’ve got nothing left, but it’s the opposite. You kept yourself going, missing the ones you love, betrayed by the one you trusted, abandoned by the family you’ve made of the Avengers. All those negatives dragging you down. Imagine if you had no worries, imagine if you didn’t feel so abandoned and hurt., if you were weightless, then you could truly do anything you put your mind to.”

“And what? Blood magic’s going to cure all my mental hurts?” He chuckles humorlessly.

“They cured mine.” She shrugged, he didn’t see the action so much as feel it with their foreheads pressed together like this. All at once he realized how intimate this all was. Touching, hand now resting fully on her shoulder, her hand over his, the other wrapped around his back, cupping his neck, keeping him close. He stared into her eyes. Her irises brown, and the tiny ropes of veins in that streamed across the whites of her eyes were black, where they should be red. They breathed each other in, and Tony sank into it. Their prolonged eye contact and physical touch.

This is bonding. A part of the manipulation. He knows it. She wants him to trust her, depend on her, feel comfort in her touch and the connection of this blood magic.

“I was heartbroken.” She whispers, continuing. “Abandoned by Thor, for fear, Loki thrown away in a cell, locked away from me. Odin, the king I loved and respected ordered my death. I ran from Asgard with nothing but the clothes on my back and this book. I know what it’s like to be alone. To be betrayed. It’s not exactly what you went through, but pain is pain.” Tony shifts starting to feel uncomfortable with how close they are. Feeling his senses slowly come back to him, she loosens her grip on his neck and he pulls back, looking anywhere but at her. Silently asking himself what he was doing he stood, needing more distance. “What would you do Tony, if you weren’t worried about how you’d feel after?”

“I don’t know.” He says.

“Would you get revenge for your mother?” She asks, stepping up behind him. “Or would you move on from that? Doing something else with your newfound emotional freedom?” Her hands slide up his back and dig into his shoulders. “What would you do, if you weren’t worried how the world would see you, or what they’d think?”

Something comes to his mind. Many things do actually. The freedom to do anything sounds good. To finally stop caring. It’s as dangerous as it is alluring. He smiles as the many thoughts and ideas run through his head.

“Why do you follow Thanos?” He asks, instead of answering her questions.

Her chin juts forward just an inch at his question. She wasn’t expecting the change of pace clearly.

“He took me in when I was alone, bleeding, crying out trying to give myself over to the blood magic. He cleaned me up, gave me a home, somewhere I felt like I belonged. He told me of his plans, the infinity stones.” Her eyes move around the room, looking at nothing in particular as she reminisces. “I may not be dedicated to the cause, but I’m dedicated to him.”

Tony smiles, looking to the glass wall, Thanos is nowhere to be seen, but he has an inkling everything said and done in the room can be seen by the Titan. “You love him, don’t you?”

“I’m not sure.” She says honestly. “I stopped feeling certain emotions long ago. I would count love among them. But I think, if I could love anyone still, it would be him. Why do you ask?”

“You asked me what I would do if no one would know if I could get away with it. If I wouldn’t care. For the longest time, I had this bone-crushing guilt. Somehow, I always blamed myself for my parent’s death. I always thought if I was a better son was and didn’t disappoint Howard so much they wouldn’t have left, or I’d be with them and something, anything would have changed. But now, now I know it wasn’t my fault. Hydra would have killed my father to get the serum no matter where he was, or who was with him. Knowing that lifts the burden, but it points something else out to me. How my enemies work, by getting things done. Thanos, killed his own daughter to get the Soul Stone, Obie stole and lied to me for years before pulling the arc reactor out of my chest so he could use it, so did Pietro.” Tony reaches into his pocket, pulling out the Time stone. “All that keeps coming to mind, is questioning what it means to be a hero and a villain. Killing? Stealing? Protecting? Self-sacrificing? I unknowingly was a villain to so many people because of Obie and the Ten Rings. Bombs and weapons with my name written on them dropped into innocent homes. Ever since I’ve been on thin ice, being careful with everything I do, never leaving the straight and narrow. I became Ironman and didn’t tell anyone because… because as Ironman I get to finally be the hero.” He looks down at the infinity stone as he twirls it in his fingers, frowning slightly. “But besides flying, being a hero is really no fun.”

Her eyes track the stone in his fingers. “And are you ready to finally have some fun?”

“Yes.” He nods. His thoughts all flash through Obie, the ten rings, Killian, Hydra, and Thanos. He even thinks of Bucky, then his father and lastly his mother. He thinks of the person he used to be when he was younger, carefree and just excited to learn. Then his world went to shit, if he’s honest with himself it started before his parents died. The crushing weight of Howard's shadow and a constant media presence crushing down on him. He always tried to be better, always wanted to do better. In any way and every way possible, just to be betrayed at every turn. He’s sure without the influences of the blood magic he never would have even dared to think about this, about giving up the hero act. He’d be content to continually sacrifice himself for others. To give up everything and anything for nothing in return but a pat on the back from the team. The team that left him, the team that used him, the team that hid things from him.

He was always perfect for the camera, perfect for his designs, perfect for the team.

It was time for him to stop. Stop caring about what others said and thought, it was time to think about himself and what he wanted, and even if he wasn’t exactly sure what that was at the moment, he knew what he had to do to get it.

No more feelings, no more distractions.

Zanayah is a distraction.

“I have a question for you.” He starts. “How long do Asgardians typically live? I know Thor is pushing one thousand five hundred. Just out of curiosity I personally would love to find out how it looks to watch an Asgardian die of old age.”

Tony knows she’s fast, and she’s strong, so he doesn’t wait a second longer, bringing the stone up, it shines the green light, covering her and he moves it clockwise, watching her freeze stuck in place as her body begins to age as he speeds up the process. It’s strange to see, she actually gets a little taller, and her hair grows in length as well as her nails. Then soon the black strands begin to lighten, greying strands spreading, wrinkles deepening in her skin, and she begins to hunch, crying out in pain. Her eyes fade in color and her nails curl. She begins looking like the old witches in horror movies. Her skin sags where it’s visible and he doesn’t stop even when she begins calling weak cries of mercy.

She drops heavily onto the floor, no longer youthful and strong as she once was. Still, he doesn’t stop. Even when her eyes roll back and her chest no longer rises and falls with breath. Life leaves her, and still, he continues. As her body stiffens then seems to deflate and start to decay he speeds up here, watching her skin and insides wither away to dust, leaving only a pile of bones.

Then he stops. Looking down at what was once a woman. He hissed feeling the burn of the stone on his palm. It dug into the skin with heat and he pulls it away looking at the bleeding burnt flesh. He really should be more careful. Using the stone like this usually kills mortals. He’s lucky he can even hold the thing barehanded much less use it. He sets it on the table and reaches for a rag hesitating as he realizes nothing down here is sanitized enough for him to use on an open wound and sighs. He’d have something back home instead of this underground hideout.

He tsks in annoyance, turning to the glass wall. Knowing that Thanos can hear him, even if the Titan is out of sight.

“Did you see that?” He asks, pointing to what’s left of Zanayah. He remembered how her skin broke off like flakes of dust. “I learned that from you.”

“What now, Stark?” Thanos replies, coming into view from a distance. “You leave? Go hide the stone, forget this ever happened and live your miserable life?”

“No.” Tony chuckles, looking back at Zanayah’s bones. “I see how you got that impression, but that’s not why I did it.”

“It’s not?” Thanos sounds only mildly surprised, but there’s more interest in the tone.

“It’s clear what she felt about you. No matter what she’d never stop trying to manipulate me. Her one and only goal would always be to free you. Or try to please you by enacting your plan for you. It would be stupid of me to keep her around. This whole time I’ve been Ironman, I’ve done my best to try and lock away my enemies or find the right way to get rid of them. Even if it didn’t end that way, why take the moral high ground when I could eliminate the threat?”

“You needed her.” Thanos says. “You can’t read the book.”

Tony turns around and bends for the book, still lying open on the ground. Bits of dust rest on top of it. He blows it off and looks over the text. “No, but I happen to know someone who can. It’s Asgardian.”

“The Trickster, he won’t read it for you, he’ll stay as far away from the blood magic as possible.”

“Maybe.” Tony nods, running his finger along the spine of the book. “But that’s not important just yet. Right now, all that matters is that I am your only way out of this cage, and there is now a clock on how long I’ll live. These memories will either drive me crazy or kill me, either way, I won’t be able to free you. It’s now in your best and only interest to help me get the infinity stones before that happens.”

“What will you do with them?”

Tony smiles, looking back up to the glass wall. “We can figure that out together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think Tony is going to do with the infinity stones If/when he gets them? 
> 
> Because I don't even know yet. 
> 
> Also, who wants to see Peter Quill, and Gamora and the rest of the guardians? Because i'm thinking about adding them!


End file.
